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Is it possible to c...
 

[Closed] Is it possible to change?

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oh and go and listen to 'Accept Yourself' by The Smiths. As usual Morrissey hit things right on the head 🙂


 
Posted : 15/07/2010 10:22 pm
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I'd say yes you can, for a while. The trick is catching yourself before you fall again, as no one else ever seems to.


 
Posted : 15/07/2010 10:28 pm
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The trick is catching yourself before you fall again

No no no - optimism rules.


 
Posted : 15/07/2010 10:31 pm
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The news has leaked through to 'bunnyhop' towers. Let us hit the North and eat cake.

Although I agree with brooess, sometimes a person who loves you dearly can see tiny things that could improve your life.

My hubby had a really good education, whereas mine was 'shall we say lacking'. Over the years he's taught me so much. This wasn't changing my personality, but enhancing my life. Also I'm pretty immature for my age, so he's made me see things differently.

I think the problem with a lot of men is actually growing up, its a hard task and being mature and an adult with responsiblities doesn't come easily. Maybe binners this is your problem. Still living the life at the Hacienda eh!

Don't beat me up on Saturday?


 
Posted : 15/07/2010 10:34 pm
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I believe that psychologists say our basic personalities are set very early in life (years 2-5) and tend to be stable and not fundamentally change.

This thread reminds me of the 'Up' tv show. Some of the children stayed retained their 7 year old personalities, others changed, some for the worse some for the better. One, Neil, was a bubbly happy child but his adult life is that of a lost sensitive soul. Whilst one of the posh spoilt kids became generous and unpretentious in later life.

Erich Fromm's books are very revealing on this stuff.


 
Posted : 15/07/2010 10:50 pm
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Yep, because you want to you probably can. But, as with lots of other stuff (e.g. losing weight, giving up booze etc) the difficulty comes when you have to get through the point where you are no longer quite so motivated. That's what makes doing it alone so tough. My guess is that your choices are either to share with someone else and give them permission to interfere in your life (as many folks here don't like others poking their noses in). Or write yourself a letter for the future (3 months from now) about why you want to change, what you want to get rid of and what you want to improve. As cg says focus on the good stuff rather than the negative stuff.


 
Posted : 15/07/2010 10:53 pm
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As usual Morrissey [s]hit things right on the head[/s] is a complete and utter tw*t

Fixed that for you.


 
Posted : 15/07/2010 10:57 pm
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You must also be determined not to go back to the place where you were before. Accept you will have bad days but, actually, you need those to really appreciate how far you have come.

For 6 months I carried something around, never have I felt so upset/useless/helpless/inadequate. I eventually realised it was controlling my every waking moment and, importantly, nothing had changed. I had done everything I could to deal with a situation. It was time to move forward.

Optimism rules, you need to believe it.


 
Posted : 15/07/2010 11:04 pm
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I believe you can change. It won't be easy but nothing serious really is. Good luck (and remember to [i]always look on the bright side of life/death[/i].


 
Posted : 15/07/2010 11:10 pm
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Good thread this. I think you can change your behaviour, step back, take a look at yourself and get a different perspective. It's difficult though, and takes a degree of honesty, clarity and humility. but not your underlying personality, you are who you are.


 
Posted : 15/07/2010 11:41 pm
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