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[i]Don't put up a photo from years ago, as when you meet up they wont recognise you[/i]
The photo I used last time I did internet dating a couple of years ago was obviously exactly right - met up with some girl in a cafe for the first date. I'm stood in the queue, got a text asking where I was. Told her, she replied to say she was nearly there. 2 mins later she walked in, looked around, saw me and said in a far-too-loud voice "Ooh, you look just like your profile pic!"
😳
Hmm so that'd be *everyone* on the cafe hearing that then...
Perhaps a blowjob?
Well thats very kind of you to offer- perhaps you could post that in the classifieds?
you would probably still haggle over price and then complain that it was not as described
Wow I never realised how many dating experts were on here lol
😆
From what I hear from friends who do this kind of thing, you have to shave at least 7 years off your age, more if you are over 40. It's like telling the doctor how much you drink, if you tell the truth they will double it.
Good luck ! Sounds grim.
When i fancy being in a relationship again i'll look back at this thread for advice 😆
I've just finished re-reading "Gym Girl". 😉
Some sage advice on that thread
bd.............just looked at your picture.....littledummy from me from now on.. 8)
xherbivorex - Member
i did this.
it was a good move too.
currently very very happy......... i found my perfect match (pun slightly unavoidable).
nice to hear that - i seem to remeber a series of posts from you a while ago that were all rather doom and gloom.
[B]a) He had 'normal' pictures but also photos of him mountain biking which was a really good talking point b) He was funny in his messages but wasn't trying too hard c) He remembered all the stuff I said to him and referred to things in later conversations, which showe me that he wasn't getting me mixed up with loads of other girls he was talking to other girls he was talking to d) He took it slowly, messaged me for a few weeks, had a couple of phonecalls and then asked me out on a date. e) He was up front and told the truth! Very important...if you lie about yourself on a dating site, you WILL get found out eventually.[/b]
Text book stuff for the seasoned internet dater, shows good info management skills, guile and the ability to delete all txt and email history 😉
Rocketdog, that's evil. And I'm sure it's not true. 😉
Tuesday morning update. My fetching photograph, honest but witty profile and some friendly and charming ice-breaking messages garnered a single, concise verdict:
"[b]your[/b] (sic) [b]funny[/b]"
If the internet is filled with attractive, sane single women who can use apostrophes correctly, they have not made contact. 🙂
I my experience BD the females of the type you'll want to chat to won't make first contact as they don't want to be seen as too eager, plus they love to be chased so you have to do the work, those that contact you first. Well you can draw your own conclusions.
Before I found someone I liked I became a bit addicted to "the first date" I loved the thrill and you tend to say the same lines so get very skilled at it. It was a game I played loads of times, I'm not proud of it but it was fun but in the long run unforfilling. Sorry to satsoma that was a bit cruel and i'm sure her chap is a top guy, I was just basing the comment in personal experience
[i]"your (sic) funny"[/i]
Did she elaborate on whether you were funny ha ha or funny weird? 😉
I think you need to change your maxim to
single, sane, fit, is as anal about grammatical errors as me
pick two
This may make things slightly more tricky for you particularly if your going to use email as your main method of communication to begin with.
Although as you point out your be able to rule out those who failed English Language much more quickly than you would in a bar.
Sorry to satsoma that was a bit cruel and i'm sure her chap is a top guy, I was just basing the comment in personal experience
No problem, I can take a joke 🙂
dont know much about internet dating but my brother (who is a slag of royal proportions) gave me some tips a few years back which helped me no end. these are tips for the first few dates etc after which there is no point in doing anything except being yourself or you'll end up with a girl who likes your alter ego not you.
1. try not to talk about yourself, steer the conversation around to be about the girl your talking to.
2. remember everything they say about themselves eg names of siblings/friends /parents etc
4. be quietly confident, especially around other men (this is why girls like bad boys apparently) but don't come across as cocky
3. don't show off about money/cars/bikes/houses that you own, be vague but with a knowing smile if questioned on this front
4. text message them more then you think is necessary
5. dont try to be funny, but find them hilarious
not sure if this is helpful for internet dating but it worked great for me in real life.
Put this in your profile... 😈 😀
All You who Sleep Tonight - Vikram Seth
[i]All you who sleep tonight
Far from the ones you love,
No hand to left or right
And emptiness above -
Know that you aren't alone
The whole world shares your tears,
Some for two nights or one,
And some for all their years.[/i]
I think he wrote it before teh internets.
so can we have a linky to your profile, so that we can point it out to all our attractive, single, sane female friends?
[i]so can we have a linky to your profile, so that we can [s]point it out to all our attractive, single, sane female friends[/s] [b]mock it ruthlessly[/b][/i]
Fixed. 😉
Can't be bothered to read all that stuff - but you should listen to me as I met my wife via the Guardian singles pages 10 years ago. We've been married for 7 years, have 2 kids, no plans to divorce and last weekend she won a bike race.
I have to say when I started using the singles page it was with a view to finding a partner rather than a fling, so if you're in that position, here's my advice:
Firstly, answering ads is a waste of time. You will be one of many and may not even get beyond the first hurdle of meeting. Whereas if you place the ad you will get some responses, and probably from someone who has thought about what they want.
Secondly, be brutally honest in your ad. Can't remember mine exactly, but it was something along the lines of:
"I'm doing up a house and I go biking, windsurfing and do other sports a lot, so I don't have loads of time. I'm looking for someone who is fit and outdoorsy and who can get by without access to a hairdryer at the weekends"
You will still get some responses along the lines of:
"I love mountain biking but I got a puncture 3 months ago so haven't been lately. Maybe you can fix it for me."
Ignore these.
If you are lucky you will get a response from someone who sounds genuinely interesting.
My wife's response included the information that she had recently taken a year out to cycle to China.
When you meet, hopefully you will immediately fancy the woman in question. If you don't then probably best not to meet again, rather than relying on the fact that you fancy her once you're pi$$ed. If you do fancy her, explore some fundamental issues such as politics, religion etc early on and see if any of those things are going to scupper you. Also if you have an agenda such as kids, don't hang around before mentioning that - I went out with a gorgeous girl I met via the Guardian a few times before, apropos of nothing she said "I just want to say I don't ever want kids" At the time I'd not even thought about that, but as soon as she said it I thought "sh1t" - so if that is on your agenda, don't go too far down the line before you mention it.
I guess in short, I am saying that it's best to be honest from the off rather than disappointing (or disappointed) later.
But it can work, so just get on with it.
[i]Don't[/i] use a picture of your nineteen year old self...
[img] 
[/img]
...especially if you improve with age. 8)
[img] 
[/img]
(Seriously, rprt says it all - what are you waiting for? GO!)
Add "must be able to punctuate properly" to your list of wants/needs. Obviously...
Really, make a tick list*, make sure you use it on the date.
*Girls love this sort of thing.
PS
Postie was asking after you...
You may also want to remove the words "testicle cuffs" from the likes in your profile page.
I'm not going to get too hung up on grammar and punctuation, but if the [i]only thing you know about someone[/i] is that they haven't mastered it then, well...
It'd be like if we managed to detect a signal from an advanced extra-terrestrial civilisation, and their message said "Music of Simply Red Very Good Is". Would we send a manned mission to their planet? Would we bollocks. Unless they sent us the secret of eternal life and some pictures of their oozy tentacles first. 😀
BigDummy - MemberI'm not going to get too hung up on grammar and punctuation
I disagree. You have to sell yourself so you need to make a decent job of it so that means checking and re-checking. Obviously this is not a strong point for some folk but they should ask a friend to check over your profile and give their opinion.
Same goes for a decent pic - get a friend to take some, put on some decent clothes, brush your hair, floss your teeth etc.
I wish you good luck. 🙂
Oh, [i]my[/i] profile is beautifully punctuated. I'm just willing to cut other people a little slack. I afterall do not regularly wax my scrotum or own an Audi TT, so it's only fair to let other people drop the odd grammatical howler without ruling them out of consideration. 🙂
And thanks. 🙂
Don't talk about your 'big dummy'. I'm guessing that even some experienced lady cyclists haven't heard of one, let alone 99% of the female population of a certain age.
Oh and don't be afraid of the slightly (cough)older woman. I'm older than mr. bunnyhop and it has never caused any problems ( well known to me anyway).
Don't talk about your 'big dummy'.
Depends what sort of sites BD's signed up for... 😉
Actually, BD, me and your bro know some cycling ladies who might fit the bill. In fact, he's stalking one quite heavily.
I'm older than mr. bunnyhop and it has never caused any problems ( well known to me anyway).
The newspaper said it'll kill you. No really, they did, it was in the papers the other day. Next week it'll extend your life though.
Isn't internet dating a bit like salsa classes? In as much as you sign up hoping to meet all sorts of sprightly, eager women and end up rubbing up against a load of sweaty middle aged men with exactly the same idea. 🙂
I dread to imagine what the ratio is. Although it's possible that most sweaty middle aged men in my position are watching dwarf porn and tugging themselves raw into vaseline-filled socks rather than joining dating sites, so you never know. 🙂
my mate reckons they are about 10:1 male to female. Not sure what sites he is referring to as I declined to ask.
I'd cut out the middleman and get on Gaydar if I were you. 😉
10:1 Probably right judging by what female friends who've been on them say.
Which begs the question... where do single women actually look for love?
Pubs and clubs are sausage fests, the net is full of filthy old men, where are the women??
Which begs the question... where do single women actually look for love?Pubs and clubs are sausage fests, the net is full of filthy old men, where are the women??
Well, I fall into the category with the current highest divorce rate (over 50). All I can say is that judging by the quality of responses that are soiling my inbox, it's probably easier not to bother!
Seriously, I can get to spend more time with my beloved bikes rather than some bloke saying "you love your bikes more than me". Been there, done that. 🙄
soiling my inbox
s**** 😯
>watching dwarf porn and tugging themselves raw into vaseline-filled socks
You mean you're not ? 😯
FREAK!
I dunno about proportions, but a female "friend of a friend" who has registered with an encounter site (i.e. sex rather than relationships) says she gets about a dozen propositions a day. Which I guess keeps her busy.
M
CG I totally appreciate your last sentance (if you swap bloke for bird) but I still have a nagging need to err.. ensure my lineage, preferably with a half decent looking, sane woman, who can at least tolerate a cycling obsession.
Who says romance is dead!?
Fit, Sane, Single.
I am so utterly utterly badgered if me and OH ever split up. So badgered.
OP, I'd suggest saying something like you ride clipped in but I'm not sure most women would get the joke. Which is the thing, really, do you want a biking/outdoors type? If so, a pic of you on a mountain or riding your bike will attract those sorts of people.
I think there are lots of divorced blokes about, who have naff all but a Ford Mondeo, a rented flat and a few bad habits to their name. The divorced women tend to have a house and sorted themselves out through necessity.
When it comes to finding a bloke, I suspect a lot of women realise it's going to be near impossible to find someone one something like an equal footing in life.
BigDummy - MemberI dread to imagine what the ratio is. Although it's possible that most sweaty middle aged men in my position are watching dwarf porn and tugging themselves raw into vaseline-filled socks rather than joining dating sites, so you never know.
TBH BigDummy, from your previous posts i'd have had you down as one of those you describe. although, possibly dolphin porn. not sure. don't want to delve too deep.
I cant offer any advice on the dating scene. I asked a girl if i could carry her books home when i was 15 and havent been without her since (18yrs)
I do however take great interest in my wifes friends at work 😉 There are a few that fit the 30+ catagory and single. One is particularly interesting. Attractive, fit (Played football quite seriously), funny, well paid etc etc. All the things i would look for myself. But she has been single for about 3yrs.
Before that it was a few blokes from time to time but always someone with a flash car etc etc. Nothing run of the mill.
Anyhow the reason i bring this up is because she has suddenly admitted to being in a relationship with a guy from their work. This guy is mr plain. He is 35 and has a bloody hair implant ffs. Totally bornign and even if i do say so myself, not exactly good looking.
My wife asked how she ended up going out with him and she admitted that although he doesnt 'float her boat' he is really nice, cooks for her, is always nice to her and......yep is really nice. She knows he isnt mega wealthy or gonna be playing football with her but he asked and has been nice to her so far.
My advice is, have the balls to ask and be nice. Your personality will take over from there and if it was meant to be it will work
TheSouthernYeti - I would keep quiet about your obsession!! Definitely the sort of thing to get the ladies worried.
tron - I accept that can happen when young children are involved. But I just wonder whether people can't be ar$ed with the whole process.
thomthumb - yes, that is how it feels! I look at their profile and think "why would I want to meet you?". But then again I kid myself I'm a classy lady as well as top totty. 😉