When I was younger we were allowed to use a friends bedroom as a place to crash and have a splif or two most nights. His parents who I still know to this day (20years on) both had decent jobs, lived in a well to do area and were very respectable. Their view was that their son was going to smoke weed whatever they said to him so they let him do it upstairs with his close friends where they knew where he was.......if he wasnt indoors he would be doing it on the streets and in all kinds of unsavoury people.
I guess his folks were taking a huge risk allowing him to have friends round to do the same (a small bunch of us who the parents had known for years)as if any of our parents had found out I'm pretty sure they would have gone to his house to confront his parents.
I now have two teenage daughters and wondering if I would do the same if they ever smoked weed.......or would I let them smoke it in public with the risk of getting caught and not knowing where they are or even worse, who they are with? Is it best to try and control small elements? And no, they dont smoke weed but yes I do so would know straight away if they did.
What would you do if there was no chnace they weren't going to stop smoking it....allow them to do it int heir bedroom where you know where they are and who they are with?
Smoking in the house is horrid, weed or otherwise.
It's about trust and communication isn't it.
Finbar, I totally agree with you, it is a horrible smell and lingers on everything for ages, the ban on smoking in enclosed public spaces is best bit of legislation for a while IMO, but you havent really answered the q!
Yeah, sorry. I guess i'd let them do it in the garden if it wasn't overlooked. TBH i'd be more concerned about the lung-raping issue than the drugs. Maybe buy them a vapourizer? Bake it into some brownies? 😉
Nickc - is that a yes or a no then?? I do know what you mean but his folks were taking a huge risk trusting a bunch of teenage potheads to be quiet about it, but we all did. Obviously trusted us then! I'm not sure if I could do the same though for my dughters and their friends but I'm pretty sure I would for my daughters if they were alone........but whats the point and where's the fun smoking alone?
I dont see the whole "protecting them from others/the street" issue. IF they do it in the house they'll do it in the street. If you give them a place to do it you're suggesting its a good idea. While not always possible, I'd hope my kids would be sane enough not to take the habit up.
I'd let them smoke at home...
Preferably outside, in a shed..
To be fair, if they wanna smoke weed, they are going to, with, or without your blessing..
I guess if they are doing it and you are aware, if there are any dramas you can be there to help get them squared away.
What would Jacqui Smith do?
enfht - Member
What would Jacqui Smith do?
Buy it, smoke it, and then put it on her expenses?
Weird.. I could have been "your friend". 🙂 Our attic was always the end point for such activities and parents had similir views to your friends.. think we pushed the limits a fair few times though.
I think I would be inclined to let my daughter do that but am pretty sure Mrs Maxray would be having none of it! 😀
I haven't got kids so wouldn't know... My brothers eldest is 17-18 and if I knew he was smoking it I'd probably invite him round my house for a spliff and have a good old chat with him about sensible use and dangers of class A's etc...
Kev
IF they do it in the house they'll do it in the street.
what like we all do with sex you mean?
Personally I make my brews there and often just go to the toilet as well there is NOTHING i do in my house I would not do in th street
seriously though there is very little you can do to protect your children from this but you should be aware that it is illegal to knowingly allow people to smoke in your house and you can personally be prosecuted for this offence.
If they were my kids I probably would allow it my wife would most certainly not so we would all be outside somehwere.
No, when I was younger, I got the lecture about how drugs would mess up your life and how a criminal record would mess up my future. Worked for me. Then again, there was beer in the fridge and I was allowed to help myself from 14. Didn't like the stuff then and not really bother going back since.
God, don't I sound boring!!!
I used to think that I would have no issue with it. However, that was back when all you could get was some half OK red-seal or bog standard weed. It took real effort and dedication to get stoned!
I remember when skunk first really came to the fore in the UK (1993/4) and it was a totally different experience. Now skunk is bred specifically to knock the bee-jeezus out of you.
I personally believe that there is a link between the chemicals in cannabis and psychosis and smoking skunk weed is more likely to tip you over the edge than normal weed on a like for like basis.
My attitudes have changed now and I couldnt turn a blind eye to or advicate by proxy my kids smoking it.
If I caught my kids smoking dope I'd march them down to the front of the local nick and make them smoke all they had in front of the police with a placard saying
'I'm smoking weed - in spite of all my parents have said. I also realise that I am, through my actions, sponsoring local criminal activity and possibly even terrorists. My dad says he is not paying his national health insurance so I can **** up like this - you deal with it'
Fair to say I don't tolerate drugs.....
(Christ! I suddenly realise being from Ulster does not mean I'm necessarily a 'moderate'):roll:
tankslapper - are you for real??!!??
Education is the only way to deal with drug use / abuse.
education is the way forward, and what Tankslapper suggests would certainly teach them a thing or two!
well they wouldn't smoke weed in the house again.
what like we all do with sex you mean?
Yes, because sex and smoking are almost identical. 🙄 What is this, random stupid analogy day?!
😆well they wouldn't smoke weed in the house again.
What would Jacqui Smith do?
Far more importantly, what would RudeBoy do?
who knows, it's hard to predict people who suffer from short man/arse syndrome.
I think weed is one of the most dangerous drugs out there, leads onto other drugs and robs you of ambition, nearly ruined my life.
Of course used sensibly it can be safe done at the right time and the right people, but as a teenager most people don't do this, its all about who can take the biggest caning and if used regularly gives physcosis and paranoia. All my opinion of course, I guess its better if you can keep an eye on yer kids, but it is condoning something which seems to have taken on an air of acceptability, but in my view is worse than E.
If you smoke weed and they know it they'll see you as a hypocrite if you aren't relaxed about it.
Did you think your mates parents were cool to let you do it, respect them for it and not cause any trouble?
My answer would depend on a lot:
There age, Type of weed, what grades they get at school/college, there attitude, what type of friends they have.. So many things to consider!
If they always got in to trouble and things then I probably wouldn't let them smoke it, and would try everything to get them to stop.
Believe it or not, but I am a smoker. My mum let me smoke in the house, but I was 19 at the time.
[i] franki - Member
tankslapper - are you for real??!!??
Education is the only way to deal with drug use / abuse. [/i]
Totally for real - I think the bit that says 'In spite of all my parents have said' refers to the 'education' part.
Belfast upbringing - beat it inta ya! 😆
(That was a party political broadcast brought to you by someone brought-up between 1690 and 1890 - I thank you!)
(That was a party political broadcast brought to you by someone brought-up between 1690 and 1890 - I thank you!)
Tankslapper - that deserves a hearty chuckle 😆
I'd probably go for the education and fact basis. I'd suggest that the way to make something appealing is to ban it, but that's MHO.
Re the house - tricky (as the smell etc is hideous) - but at least they had some form of adult support around. So I actually quite like this attitude (e.g mate bought a massive wendy house, leccy etc, and let them get on with - at least they were in the back garden if they needed help)
I've known recreational drug users (and they really did it when THEY wanted - so drugs were a tool they used for pleasure) but I've seen it go horribly wrong as well (and to be fair the vast majority of the recreational drug users actually gave it up after a while).
My motivation for stopping was socializing with people who were so stoned that they'd forget what they were talking about mid sentence and effectively not being able to do anything useful like being relied on etc etc. Also as they got more into it, it became more of their life - ie driving .... etc etc - which wasn't where I wanted to go.
There is also the horrible truth about alcohol, my mum was a nurse and as she pointed out she never got punched in the face by somebody who'd had a bit too much to smoke.
Evidence and stats appear to vary but modern weed does appear to be a lot more dangerous than the 'hippy stuff' - possibilities of mental illness later on does appear very real. Maybe both you and they could do some reasearch together - at least you'd be able to argue based on fact. However I must admoit as a teenager my listening facilities appeared to be remaarkably impaired. You could also try to encourage sport etc and other interests where they are likely to meet non users (and therefore conform to the new norm)
PS I don't have children so this could all be utter tosh. Best of luck
my dad had a 1930s showmans wagon at the end of the garden. when we reached 16 we got the caravan for 2 years, respect it its yours. dont, back in the house. it was great, quiet(we lived in the woods). rule was no sessions on weeknights(apart from crafty ones after homework) weekends were great few good mates round, chicks and mucho smoking. we had fires outside roamed the woods at night. it soon evolved into cooking, music and bikes. i think the idea was a good one and we were all ready to leave home at 18. this was part of a [u]very[/u] hippy upbringing. my own kids? well...have to wait and see(girls 9&3).
No,wouldn't let them smoke weed or anything else in the house & if I caught them smoking anything outside I'd kick the crap out of them.Don't think it would ever come to that as my kids are very anti-smoking anyway,seeing their granddad die from throat cancer(very unpleasant)has had a lasting effect on them.....
[i]I'd kick the crap out of them[/i]
Nice 😐
Yeah you're right,I'd much rather see them have their voice boxes cut out & then infection set in till thier tongues wouldn't fit in their mouths so they turned black till they finally died.......
If I have wrote, I'd kill them do you ACTUALLY believe that I would really kill them...?Some people 🙄
I would beat the sh*t out of them in an old fashioned Scottish father way, then hunt down the scum who sold it to them and further educate them.
Once they are adult you can't stop them stuffing their lives, but you have a moral duty to protect your children even if it means going to extremes.
I would let them do it but not be happy about it. I take my children to festivals and they know what it is the people are smoking. Too be honest ive always been quite open about it and if anything i think there not that bothered with trying it themselves. I was a regular dope smoker but i dont do it anymore you kind of just grow out of it so i would know if they were doing it.
I have always liked the smell of it especially thai, not too keen on the cheese smell.
You've got to be realistic though, haven't you? Anyone who claims the crappy hash and weak weed we were smoking 20 years ago is the same potency as what's been around for the last 10 years or so is missing the point a little.
We were able to smoke in a mates garage (during "band practice") under a sort of "don't ask dont tell" policy seemingly instigated by his parents. There is no way on earth that what we were smoking was similar to what you will get for the same money today.
The stoner culture doesn't seem to have changed too much, whereas the major variable has.
I don't have children, but I'd like to think that if or when I do I'd be able to provide them with this little nugget of fact.
[i]I would beat the sh*t out of them in an old fashioned Scottish father way, then hunt down the scum who sold it to them and further educate them.
Once they are adult you can't stop them stuffing their lives, but you have a moral duty to protect your children even if it means going to extremes. [/i]
I'm not sure how beating my kids up would protect them, guess I never did understand tough love. I'm 100% sure if I did it, the first thing in their minds would be, 'lets go out and have a crafty spliff, that'll show the bastard.'
....so what I do with my lad is educate him early about the dangers of drug use in a sensible manner. There are soft and hard drugs and some are addictive and some aren't. He then talks to me in an open and frank manner about the kids he knows who take drugs and drink and by maintaining this level of trust (rather than fear), we ensure all problems are quickly dealt with.
It'll be my own fault if he becomes a smack head though, obviously.
get them to roll a fat one!
well maybe not - the worst thing for me is it's a gateay drug - to a tabacco addiction.
I got the lecture of my mum about the evil's of drugs and what would happen if she caught me. Well she did catch me smoking a joint one day and she seemed to have had a chance of heart, she came out with "well at least your unlikely to be getting into fight's and other such trouble whilst your stoned and it probably safer that your in someone's flat than on the street". I spent the next 15 year's smashed and sometimes i wish i hadn't, i had good times, lot's of good times, only 1 or 2 bad times, and some very bored times staring at the ceiling cause i couldn't do **** all else. In the end i got bored of being stoned so i stopped, i still have the very occasional joint if one is passed my way. As for what would i do if my daughter start's smoking it when she is older, well i'll cross that bridge if it happen's, somehow though if it does i have a sneaky suspicion that i'll end up having a smoke with her, old habit's die hard.
a right bag o snakes, this one.
On the one hand, you know where they are & what they're up to.
On the other hand it is illegal and you could be in deep doodoo if any of them are caught
and now we've run out of hands...
do they get hooked on weed, or on the tobacco that often goes with it?
And if hooked on the weed, do they then go onto harder drugs? not always - that depends on the personality of each individual user.
I had a mate who had an addictive personality. I was in a band with him for about 5 years, then I moved away. He started on cigarettes. Then booze - Special Brew was his favourite tipple. Dope. yeah, why not, makes the spesh taste better. ooh what's that white powder on the mirror? gimme gimme. aceeed?!?!? yes please
I saw all this very close up and, although I did experiment, I always had him at the back of my mind. My new friends sometimes laughed at me when I said "no ta", but I knew I was right.
About 5 years ago he decided to clean up his act, get rid of the fags, coke, speed, dope, everything. So he went to a 'self help' group, and met a lass who was a smackhead.
he's dead now.
Not sure what I'd do... I've been a fairly heavy smoker, and a casual smoker, not really touching it at all just now but just because it's not really been in my scene lately rather than a decision not to. If there's one thing that undermined my trust and faith in my parents, it's hypocrisy, and I guess I'd bear that in mind. I couldn't say to them "Stay off the grass" because I haven't, and I haven't come to any harm at all from it, and I've had some very happy times with a little smoke in my lungs- and it's helped me through some bad times. It's been a positive influence on my life, fundamentally.
But still, I wouldn't be too happy with it... Partly because I've seen that it can, in rare cases, lead people bad places. I think that the whole "gateway drug" thing is fundamentally complete cock, but there's no denying weed can do you a lot of harm... Some people dive too deep into it, others get nicked for it, some fall into bad company. And some people coincidentally start doing stronger drugs. The fact that I've been a casual weed smoker with no ill effects for half my life doesn't mean they'll be the same.
But, Just Say No is such a discredited message, if you tell your kids "Weed screws you up" and they look around and see themselves and their friends doing just fine, and having a great time, and being in better shape than their heavy drinking mates, then they're not going to pay too much attention if you ever have to say "crack screws you up"- you've already blown your credibility.
So I guess, I'd try and have an actual adult conversation about it, tell them my honest feelings on it, make sure they understand where I'm coming from, find out what they think about it. This is what my mum and dad called parenting- it worked.
Didn't expect this one to carry on! I guess a slight majority (I'm ready to be corrected on this!) of you are saying you would accept with conditions attached on the grounds of knowing where your kids are and be there on hand if need be.....after discussions, education, more discussions and conditions. Those are my opinions too.
My two are 15 and 13 and very social. 15yr old says a few of her friends smoke weed and that most of them drink....she claims never to have smoked and will never try it and I believe her. She's always had a glass of wine with her meals when we do at home and she respects alcohol, I pick her up most fri and sat nights and never drunk yet. Discussed it with wife before now and she just says hope we never have to cross that bridge.....and so do I. Both kids know I smoke and they havent got a problem with it.
And for those of you who arent too sure us older ones dont go around saying 'wow man' and talking with the fairies constantly eating chocolate and going apple green thus ruining family life. For me its a relaxant and makes me enjoy life picking up on things, opening my eyes. For god sake I live with three women and if they are all on their periods at the same time the walks alone across the fields with the dog (a bitch!!) and a big spliff as the sun is setting is a great soother. If I had alcohol instead of weed I know I wouldnt do half the things i do (yes, I could go without either before anyone asks me but i decide to have a smoke after a day at work as oppossed to drink, my choice) No disrespect to women there by the way, I havent seen any replies from females? But i can also see that someone else with a different personality could just sit there and watch Jeremy Kyle all day letting life pass them aimlessly away.
Dont think I'll go down the beat the crap out of them road as I want them to like me forever and not turn in to some rebelious hooded little sh*t out to prove lots and lots of points to society.
Huge difference between class B and A, thats a different conversation althogether, but I do remember wanting to phone my folks when I was on one (e's) telling them they should try it as its the best thing that could ever happen to them - I'm glad i never did!
As for the parents who let us use their house - no, it didnt make them cool, if they thought that we were going to think that then I'm pretty sure they wouldnt have let us as it wasnt about that. We were, and still are, respectable and respectful to all parents and we all got on with each others parents fine....maybe if we didnt then we wouldnt have smoked there? Lots and lots of factors to consider, each case different, hope I never have to make that decision but if I do I'm pretty certain it would be a yes but keep it very discreet and dont take the p*ss......and give me a shout when you have a smoke!
Nobody going to sugeest a smoke and ride meet this weekend??! Could be some tasty cakes too! Infact, is that what some posts are referring to when they say Mrs 'X' will bake the cakes again to bring on the ride??
Having seen drug addiction in a very close family memeber that ultimatly started from smoking weed i'd say no.
I agree education works to a degree but I do think that it is a parents responsibilty not to alow what is an illegal act.
Also smoking of any kind is stupid, plain and simple.
My parents never caught me- I guess thats the case with most families (including those where the parents find out too late that their kid went one step).
Thing is- if its going to happen (i.e. lead on), it will anyway. You can only teach your children soo much- most of it is down to the kids mental makeup itself. Remember, certain kids you wouldnt let walk to the shop/out of the house on their own (just not streetwise/clued up to cars/hazzards etc from a young age)- ergo this continues- and..if you let them smoke it in the house well its a blanket approach to a problem- trying to be 'liberal' to make them think its uncool. You know your kid- from when he/she was 3yrs old upwards. Judge your response that way.
BTW - a bestmate of mine went loopy and is in a mental hospital following weed, then mushrooms... He started at the sametime as I did.
