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[Closed] "I REFUSE TO HAVE A STEPFORD FOOF!" More mumsnet gold

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[#6804174]

http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/telly_addicts/2288036-vagina-facials-now-on-This-Morning


 
Posted : 23/01/2015 5:49 pm
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Why would I want to jzoosh me foof? Are they doing cock n ball lifts next week? DH is far more in need than genital gravity defying than I am.

she's not rong.


 
Posted : 23/01/2015 5:54 pm
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๐Ÿ˜ฏ


 
Posted : 23/01/2015 5:56 pm
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Ah, that moment in life when you lay on your back in bed and they touch the mattress.


 
Posted : 23/01/2015 5:58 pm
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Mumsnet makes you realise there's a lot of stuff that women are fully aware of but refuse to admit to in real life/in front of men ๐Ÿ˜ฏ

Sugar and spice and all things nice, not so sure ๐Ÿ™‚


 
Posted : 23/01/2015 5:58 pm
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Mmmmmmmmm.... ladygardening.


 
Posted : 23/01/2015 5:59 pm
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today's culture of "body beautiful" I feel duty bound not only to keep what's on show acceptable to look at but also the "nether regions" need to look their best . On closer inspection with a hand held mirror I was appalled to find the old "balloon knot" was not looking it's best and the years had taken their toll, without further ado this splendid product had spruced up the offending area and now it's as good as new , I may get my teeth done next .

๐Ÿ˜†


 
Posted : 23/01/2015 6:01 pm
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Personally, I'd be quite happy to receive a vagina facial.

๐Ÿ˜‰


 
Posted : 23/01/2015 6:13 pm
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woody2000 <shows yellow card> ๐Ÿ˜€


 
Posted : 23/01/2015 6:15 pm
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Hey, I thought we'd agreed that it would only be Hora that keeps an eye on mumsnet?


 
Posted : 23/01/2015 6:16 pm
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Clearly, it's not her net we're interested in.


 
Posted : 23/01/2015 6:17 pm
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Thanks cloudnine!

Excellent work.


 
Posted : 23/01/2015 6:18 pm
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I like this comment.

29 and one baby by forceps, my fanny is already ****ed

Anything 29 is all wrong anyway.


 
Posted : 23/01/2015 6:26 pm
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Just the idea of it gives me the Wiggins! grin

Que? Is this some kind of Mumsnet meme?


 
Posted : 23/01/2015 6:32 pm
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I think it's a sort of ladygarden topiary involving bushy sideburns.


 
Posted : 23/01/2015 6:37 pm
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Is there clematis involved?


 
Posted : 23/01/2015 6:42 pm
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Is there clematis involved?

Only if they are particularly loose.


 
Posted : 23/01/2015 6:51 pm
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Is there clematis involved?

Lots of it in the woodland around Center Parcs apparently...


 
Posted : 23/01/2015 7:00 pm
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This thread is such a joy to read. I was having a right mardy-bum day, and then I realised that not only did my bum probably need bleaching, it also needed attitude correction to stop it being mardy...
In truth, I can see my own "bum'ole" without being a contortionist. I have an ileostomy, so my bum's on my tum. I merely sit upon the redundant one.
I'm 57 now, and couldn't give a flying **** what my undercarriage is up to. Ninety percent of me bush dropped out when I was ill, so it's got the aspect of a devastated wasteland with some bits of bolted asparagus fern... wink

Aaaannnnd I'm spent


 
Posted : 23/01/2015 7:05 pm
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Aaaannnnd I'm spent

I think that's the funniest thing I've ever read on here. Bravo!


 
Posted : 23/01/2015 8:13 pm
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66deg - Member
I like this comment.
29 and one baby by forceps, my fanny is already ****

Ah, a 29er +


 
Posted : 23/01/2015 8:39 pm
 hora
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Every been with a girl with a hairy chocolate star?

You can't even raise it in conversation. As more than likely youll be on the bookie dole queue..


 
Posted : 23/01/2015 8:40 pm
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They are rather potty-mouthed over on Mumsnet.

Taken from the Stepford post.

**** the ****ing **** off to the ****ing far ****ing side of ****ing **** and when you ****ing get there ****ing **** off some ****ing more.

That's likely to you a very big ban hammer in these parts.


 
Posted : 23/01/2015 9:20 pm
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jzoosh me foof

Is one of the most incredible phrases ever.


 
Posted : 23/01/2015 9:29 pm
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Comedy gold! I loved this post:

My first thoughts on reading that daily fail link is what is going to happen to my vagina when I turn 40? Does it suddenly implode?! What is the difference between more mature foofs and younger ones?! I'm a bit scared now. ๐Ÿ™

[s]29 and one baby by forceps, my fanny is already ******[/s]


Well on that last point, she's not wrong!
I've tended to avoid Mumsnet up til now, I think I might start lurking over there a bit more often, lots of mucky humour going on there. ๐Ÿ˜†


 
Posted : 23/01/2015 10:44 pm
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Supposing she had it done, and her bloke failed to notice... divorce?


 
Posted : 23/01/2015 11:05 pm
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From the same thread....

Re. anal bleaching - towards the end of last year, a MNer tried a home version of this with toothpaste, and turned her bumhole blue

just.. what??


 
Posted : 23/01/2015 11:21 pm
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The old balloon knot.

I'm out of control here.


 
Posted : 23/01/2015 11:27 pm
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As a single man but not a serial dater/man whore I like it when I come across an excellent muff. Tidy, well kept.....steamed is a new one but hey, I'm a new man etc. I keep my junk tidy....we both work out.


 
Posted : 23/01/2015 11:35 pm
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In tears. Whole bed shaking.

We need to up our game to compete with the best of Mumsnet!


 
Posted : 24/01/2015 1:58 am
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I liked the slow cooker recipes on there, not anymore


 
Posted : 24/01/2015 3:24 am
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Hilarious!

Why do they get ot do the swears but we can't?


 
Posted : 24/01/2015 4:49 am
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"Like looking at last year's hanging basket"

Tears rolling down here. I may have to cancel today's ride, I think I've sprung a rib.


 
Posted : 24/01/2015 8:27 am
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Why do they get ot do the swears but we can't?

Because teh wimminz visit here sometimes, and they have delicate little minds, and we shouldn't sully them with our vulgarity. Oh... Wait.


 
Posted : 24/01/2015 8:50 am
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Just goes to show what a bunch of amateurs we all are on STW! ๐Ÿ™‚


 
Posted : 24/01/2015 9:01 am
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I've not even opened the link as I'm laughing/traumatised enough just from the comments from you lot !


 
Posted : 24/01/2015 9:10 am
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Mumsnet should combine forces with the Kurdish Peshmerga - ISIS wouldn't stand a chance.


 
Posted : 24/01/2015 3:16 pm
 nach
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[img] [/img]


 
Posted : 24/01/2015 4:27 pm
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It was when I saw that I nearly peed in bed.


 
Posted : 24/01/2015 5:36 pm
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It was when I saw that I nearly peed in bed.

Have you considered going on Mumsnet and asking about decent pelvic floor exercises?


 
Posted : 24/01/2015 6:40 pm
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An old head chef told me that we mainly eat with our eyes. If said vafoof looks like a badly packed kebab you're not going to enjoy the ' meal ' as much.


 
Posted : 24/01/2015 8:08 pm
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[img] http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQjgPRw9P--YPGgfg2yrTWsjTNX0T8y0sRBtTcRv2MAmSPkwasUVO8O9BD-OA [/img]
Philip back in the day when every foof more hair than the average STW beard.


 
Posted : 24/01/2015 8:18 pm
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Philip back in the day when every foof more hair than the average STW beard.

By 'beard' you don't mean...? ๐Ÿ˜ฏ


 
Posted : 24/01/2015 9:00 pm
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Mumsnet really is the gift that keeps giving!


 
Posted : 24/01/2015 10:37 pm
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That Phillip Schofield picture is funny on all kinds of levels! ๐Ÿ˜€


 
Posted : 25/01/2015 12:57 am