Bananas: My dentist told me the radiation dose from an X-ray was less than eating a banana.
I thought he was bananas, but apparently there is a concept of Banana Equivalent Dose (BED) to make the concept of radiation exposure easily digestible
Brass Monkeys / Pure Baltic
Gnat's chuff
Hunners
Bawhair
This is a scale. Cheese slice > fag paper > bawhair > gnat's cock.
British Thermal Units per cubic Megaparsec
I find it curious that we don't do this more. Like, we'd say "America is five thousand kilometres away." No, it's five megametres away. We have absolutely no issue with putting 16 gigabytes of RAM and a 1 terabyte hard disk in a computer, why do we fail so badly with say a 60 kilolitre swimming pool?
If something's a little loose "like a dogs c*** in a shirt sleeve"
On the wizard's sleeve: Like throwing a hotdog down a corridor.
No, it’s five megametres away.
because Megameters is very obviously a villain in a cheap Saturday morning cartoon, or a character in of those educational TV programmes of the '70's to help kids work out maths
A megameter is something else entirely.
This is a scale. Cheese slice > fag paper > bawhair > gnat’s cock.
For true precision you would step down to an ant’s bawhair
Shirley Dec is the smaller of the annoying duo?
Dec is eternally 13. Nae bawhair to speak of.
welshfarmer
Full MemberTorque is obviously measured in Ugga Duggas (IYKYK)
I still use dakkas (or for a small tightening, a single dak). WHich is probably unwise, because you always need more dakka
Hailstones like golf balls
Having watched the Stormchasers series on tv sometime back, those are the small ones, hail precursor to an F3/4 tornado can be the size of apples, and with spikes, those can and do kill people! You wouldn’t want to be ground zero when these were falling…
Oh, and a banana is now the standard reference for any unit of measurement, length, breadth, width, height, etc.
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BTW, my favourite is ‘mad as a bag of owls’. 🤪
those are the small ones, hail precursor to an F3/4 tornado can be the size of apples, and with spikes, those can and do kill people!
This hail at my place
Did this to the eucalyptus trees they look like they had been strafed by machine guns (plus sandblasted and dented the roof). It happened in the middle of the night which people were amazed by with 100mph wind. Definitely think I'd have been killed if I'd been outside.
No mention yet of "shedload"?
Since Brexit we're no longer bound by the standard EU approved banana length, rendering it useless as a unit of measurement. I'd suggest Greggs pastie as an Imperial system replacement
Less seats than the reform party.
The Day Today weather forecast had some beautiful ones:
"About as warm as a cow."
"As loud as a woman."
And one I heard in real life in an entirely different context:
"You could slam-dunk an apple in it without touching the sides."
Oh, and a banana is now the standard reference for any unit of measurement, length, breadth, width, height, etc.
Surely the unit of measurement of breadth is the Warburton's Toastie loaf?
I'm feeling the pressure of trying to come up with more jokes for this thread, it's become a hyperbaric units of scale thread
Thick as mince.
@reeksy - that sort of hail is usually due to a Severe Convective Storm (SCS). They often have 3, sometimes 4, components each of which is scary in their own right - straight line winds (very strong gusts), hail, tornado and occasionally terrible lightning storms
As you know they are increasing in frequency in AUS but also in the US (think tornado alley) and in Europe too. There have been some very large storms in France in recent years and northern Italy, Germany and Austria too.
Expect more due to climate change
☹️
https://soe.dcceew.gov.au/extreme-events/environment/cyclones-and-storms#hail-and-convective-storms
Yeah. My wife works with a meteorologist and IPCC author so we're pretty well informed.
This event was a microburst from a larger storm I think. The hail was really localised to a strip of about 300m X 50m as far as I can tell.
Yep, that's why they are hard to forecast
like two small boys fighting under a blanket - large hooters
burst mattress, or terry waites allotment - hairy foofoo
butchers dustbin, er, use your imagination
like two small boys fighting under a blanket – large hooters
Dead heat in a zeppelin race.
Kidnapping Right Said Fred.
Fighter pilots thumbs was always a favourite of mine 😀
Slacker than a pigeons fanciers bag...
For some reason a quote of mine with no sexual innuendo said out side the railway pub in about 2000 with regards to god knows what.
Also see...
More brains than kurt cobains ceiling
That **** has more kids than barnardos
As much use as tits on a fish
He lies like a cheap Persian rug
