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Hyperbolic units of scale

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[#13241631]

Doing some garden jobs today, and Mrs Bloke awoke a slumbering hornet when opening a garden umbrella. She exclaimed 'It's like a Lancaster bomber'!  I'd have gone for B52 myself. To be fair it was impressively big, but maybe not WW2 bomber big.

I love an exaggerated unit of scale. Hailstones like golf balls, rats the size of cats, dragonflies like pterodactyls, a jobby the size of King Kong's finger.

Whatya got?


 
Posted : 01/05/2024 8:01 pm
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Scammel Wheel Nuts.


 
Posted : 01/05/2024 8:06 pm
susepic, duncancallum, winerwalker and 11 people reacted
 lamp
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With reference to speed; like a tramp on hot chips.


 
Posted : 01/05/2024 8:08 pm
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Hailstones like golf balls,

This is already happening in some parts of Europe. That's a warming climate  for you

I blame the dogs the size of Land Cruisers


 
Posted : 01/05/2024 8:08 pm
mattyfez, Drac, mattyfez and 1 people reacted
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Scammel Wheel Nuts.

😆 See also, chapel hat pegs, fighter pilots thumbs....


 
Posted : 01/05/2024 8:09 pm
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Hailstones size of golf balls in Hinckley a few years ago wrote my wife's car off.


 
Posted : 01/05/2024 8:24 pm
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Cinnamon buns the size of bear cubs

Beans, beans, as big as submarines


 
Posted : 01/05/2024 8:35 pm
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Hailstones like golf balls,

I was caught in a summer storm last year (north Spain) with hailstones this size, thankfully we were under cover and had parked the car in an underground car park. All the cars out on the street had dented metalwork, massive damage to the trees, etc.


 
Posted : 01/05/2024 9:15 pm
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Automotive roadholding:

Sticks like sh1t to a blanket

Speed:

Goes like greased weasel sh1t

Swimming:

Like a greased otter


 
Posted : 01/05/2024 9:24 pm
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Gnats cock.


 
Posted : 01/05/2024 9:26 pm
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An arse the size of a barn door.

🙈


 
Posted : 01/05/2024 9:38 pm
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https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=p_GLSgJ39Dc&pp=QACIAgA%3D&rco=1

Or as put by the Divine Comedy - the size of a small country


 
Posted : 01/05/2024 9:46 pm
StuF and StuF reacted
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SI unit of very heavy things = whales

SI unit of very long things = double decker buses end to end

SI unit of large bodies of water = Olympic swimming pools

SI unit of comparative size of countries = France (or Wales if you've not converted to metric)

SI unit of long distance= how far [and back] to the moon, or times around the equator


 
Posted : 01/05/2024 9:55 pm
nickingsley, blokeuptheroad, leffeboy and 6 people reacted
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“Mad as biscuits.”


 
Posted : 01/05/2024 10:03 pm
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Banging like the shithouse door on a Grimsby trawler


 
Posted : 01/05/2024 10:09 pm
mattyfez and mattyfez reacted
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Like a fat kid on a cup-cake.

Wait.. Are we doing metaphors or similes?


 
Posted : 01/05/2024 10:13 pm
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Specifically size/scale comparisons.  Seems to have off wandered a bit. @nickc your list made me chuckle!


 
Posted : 01/05/2024 10:19 pm
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@Edukator - there's a couple of meteorologists in France well worth following for that kind of stuff. Yann Amice and Gilles André - lots of posts on Twitter


 
Posted : 01/05/2024 10:24 pm
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What's the ratio of imperial gallons to Donald Trumps?


 
Posted : 01/05/2024 10:26 pm
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https://www.theregister.com/Design/page/reg-standards-converter.html for the full, official list


 
Posted : 01/05/2024 10:31 pm
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Bawhair

Standard unit of measurement here in Scotland. Rarely accurate


 
Posted : 01/05/2024 10:44 pm
hooli, leffeboy, debaser and 5 people reacted
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Measure of dampness: wetter than an otter's pocket.

I had to invoke that after last Saturday's ride which, in turn, may have invoked my last couple of forum posts about replacing freehub bearings....


 
Posted : 01/05/2024 11:30 pm
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I’ve deleted the description but, ‘like a donkeys yawn’ is my favourite.


 
Posted : 01/05/2024 11:43 pm
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"Bawhair

Standard unit of measurement here in Scotland. Rarely accurate"

As well as bawhair being a measurement of distance baw is also a meaurement of depth.


 
Posted : 02/05/2024 12:04 am
Cougar, leffeboy, Cougar and 1 people reacted
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A real one. An ex boss whose first job was at Jodrell Bank said they measured energy density in British Thermal Units per cubic Megaparsec


 
Posted : 02/05/2024 12:10 am
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I was hoping for some of this type of thing:

We all know that the geometric object of minimal surface area amongst all shapes with a fixed volume is the round ball, whose boundary is spherical. Water blobs try to minimise surface area and curl into spherical droplets. The physical problem of surface-area minimisation is thus quite well understood. What about the opposite problem of surface-area maximisation? Does the problem even make sense? Indeed it does. Trees try to maximise surface area to get the most of sunlight through their leaves. Sea anemones and sponges work to maximise their surface area to maximise contact with water to obtain food. Gills in fish and animal lungs try to maximise the surface area so that more oxygen goes into the blood. The resulting geometry is hyperbolic—a geometry that is, as expected, quite the opposite to spherical geometry.

Which I find interesting but am not able to comprehend the maths behind it. It came from here, if you're interested: https://researchmatters.in/news/ubiquity-hyperbolic-geometry

(where it rapidly surpasses my comprehension in the first sentence of the second paragraph!)


 
Posted : 02/05/2024 12:47 am
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There is such a unit as a Sydharb.

And as for hailstones. We get these localised storms every year or so which lead to entire neighbourhoods needing new roofing and cars.


 
Posted : 02/05/2024 1:19 am
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The size of 3 bananas


 
Posted : 02/05/2024 3:09 am
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Any large land area can obviously be compared to ‘the size of Wales’ or multiples of.

if we’re talking  similes and in the same vein as Hippo’s Yawn then ‘cavernous as a Wizard’s sleeve’ is a good one.


 
Posted : 02/05/2024 6:59 am
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Mad as a box of frogs?

Like two squirrels in a bag?


 
Posted : 02/05/2024 7:07 am
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Bawhair

Standard unit of measurement here in Scotland. Rarely accurate

But very precise.


 
Posted : 02/05/2024 7:16 am
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I see your donkeys yawn and raise you a hippo, courtesy of RW.


 
Posted : 02/05/2024 7:34 am
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Surely in the internet age the only true internationally recognised unit of scale is the banana.?


 
Posted : 02/05/2024 7:40 am
 TedC
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SI unit of very heavy things = whales

SI unit of moderately heavy things = elephant


 
Posted : 02/05/2024 8:01 am
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Fart - a unit of torque. IE tighten it till you fart.

'it needs some hair around it' - not a unit of measurement but a helpful engineering guide when struggling with concentric alignment.


 
Posted : 02/05/2024 8:13 am
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Mass: the metric shit ton


 
Posted : 02/05/2024 8:15 am
milan b. and milan b. reacted
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Slower than a stuned slug. - slow

A midges dick - small


 
Posted : 02/05/2024 8:40 am
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SI unit of fear... Brick (shitting thereof)

Multiple units in residential units.

"Shit a brick?! I just shat 4 bed semi"


 
Posted : 02/05/2024 8:55 am
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When referring to exceedingly under inflated tyres...

Flat as a badger on a bypass


 
Posted : 02/05/2024 9:03 am
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Slower than a stuned slug. – slow

My favourite is "slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through treacle".


 
Posted : 02/05/2024 9:05 am
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Brain the size of a planet


 
Posted : 02/05/2024 9:14 am
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I'll see your "yawning hippo/wizard's sleeve" as a unit of measurement and add in the more poetic descriptions "gurning chimp" or "badly packed kebab"

See also the "he's thicker than" comparisons of :

  1. whale omelette
  2. submarine hatch
  3. Boxing Day turd

 
Posted : 02/05/2024 10:23 am
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anyone remember the Arabian Knights cartoon?

size of an elephant


 
Posted : 02/05/2024 12:48 pm
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Brain the size of a planet

Wasn't it Liz Truss who was described as having an ego the size of a planet but a brain the size of a pin. ??

Or words to that effect anyway.
Very accurate.


 
Posted : 02/05/2024 1:06 pm
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