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[Closed] How pathetic a middle-aged man are you?

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Anyway I asked my (wonderful, intelligent, fit and considerably younger) wife who I compared with and she said a younger Kirk Douglas. We discussed and compared the merits of my flab and his athletic prowess and she said the most seductive features about any man start with the twinkle in the eyes. Get that right and you can get away with a lot apparently

This.

Older blokes who are happy and fun are hard to find - women place a huge emphasis on it. And it explains exactly why the older blokes with a bit of “Cool Hand Luke” about them having younger women attracted to them.

Many of the women I know would be happy to go on dates with older guys, it’s just they can tell if you’re a leery perv who hates the world, yourself and everyone around you.

Be happier and more fun if you’re single and in your 40 or 50s. Basically get over the teenage angst and your divorce.


 
Posted : 16/10/2019 4:21 pm
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I thought I was pathetic until I read this thread. Keep up the low work my friends.


 
Posted : 16/10/2019 5:06 pm
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This....

monkeycmonkeydo

I also find modern Britain utterly repulsive.It’s loud,selfish,violent and dishonest/greedy.


 
Posted : 16/10/2019 6:01 pm
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I was wondering why the country is getting 20,000 more Police <span class="skimlinks-unlinked">Officers</span>

Just replacing a small %'age that Maybot got rid of.


 
Posted : 16/10/2019 6:04 pm
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perchypanther

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With regard to TJ….

Let’s face it.

It’s not hard to look suave when you’re stood next to a dude in a too small, leather waistcoat and a bum bag. 😉

I thought it was a Wurzels tribute act.


 
Posted : 16/10/2019 6:45 pm
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Clothes that are 20 years too young for them? I tend to wear whatever I am comfortable in.

Cant that be the same thing? Given my fashion sense, such as it was, has been stuck for quite a while I suspect I will be wearing trendy stuff at some point soon unintentionally.


 
Posted : 16/10/2019 6:48 pm
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47, third year into single life after 20+ years of a very convenient marriage. 3 daughters, 2 adult and one 12. Long story short, ex meets new bloke, amicable split, kids pretty good with it all, change of house's but no major upheavals.

20+ year's of nursing under the belt after coming out of the army. Still got hair, teeth and fitness, with no gut to suck in. Pretty standard issue bloke, not trying to be any younger or older than I am and happy with my lot. Enjoyed a move to a more 9-5 life. Had a fun and interesting time on the dating front, only issue seems to be I'm not looking for another long term partner, but outside of that I have been pleasantly surprised by what's on offer.

Always enjoyed gigs, festivals, being outdoors, live footie/ RL, beer and have always incorporated the kids into this. Eldest daughter lives away, middle daughter lives with me (it's closer to work...nice, ta) It seems the youngest will soon be joining me, as the ex intends to move in with new bloke, and the 12yo 'ain't up for that'. I'm over the moon about it as the kids have always been my main focus, ex not so much, but she's set herself up for it. I can't say I'm angry about the state of the country, other people, the neighbour's or how much I've achieved/ not achieved. But I guess in terms of standing out, I'm pretty pathetic, but I'm happy to stay nicely average.


 
Posted : 16/10/2019 7:20 pm
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Average is the new awesome.


 
Posted : 16/10/2019 7:41 pm
 DezB
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I thought it was a Wurzels tribute act.

I lol'ed 😀


 
Posted : 16/10/2019 8:23 pm
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+1


 
Posted : 16/10/2019 8:31 pm
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It’s not hard to look suave when you’re stood next to a dude in a too small, leather waistcoat and a bum bag. 😉

Were you at a CAMRA beer festival. ?

Be more fun ? everyones definition of fun is different . I windsurf for 'fun' . 30knots + is fun. Your version of windsurfing may be 8knots , mill pond flat , drifting around. Its still windsurfing, you may be having fun , in that scenario I wouldn't. in 35knots , yep I would be havin fun, you would be in the margins weaving baskets out of seaweed

Same skiing . Turbo puke blizzard , 1mtr of powder , sod all vis . I am oot all day . You would be in a chalet looking out the window waiting for the sun to come out and the piste bashers to make the runs all flat for you

I dont smile much but I have alot of 'fun' in my own way . I am just not wired to be the hostess with the mostest . I like reading , its not on the fonometer though .Used to enjoy trackdays , probably not 'fun' as they are fairly serious due to the inherrant risks

So what is the measure of 'fun' is there a list? Do these lamo things and women will think you a 'fun' guy and if you get a puppy as well you will beating them back with a big stick wrapped in barbed wire?


 
Posted : 16/10/2019 8:32 pm
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Who needs fun when you’re AWESOMZE.

Surf-mat is that you?


 
Posted : 16/10/2019 8:39 pm
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It’s not hard to look suave when you’re stood next to a dude in a too small, leather waistcoat and a bum bag. 😉

Were you at an S&M fetish night at the local Legion? if thats all he was wearing ?
pass the mind bleach please.........


 
Posted : 16/10/2019 8:47 pm
 LAT
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I go into the local outdoor shop and try on clothes in the hope that the ladies who work there will talk to me.

edit: I only try on the expensive clothes so they’ll think I’ve got some spare cash.

edit edit: @theboatman, that synopsis of your life sounds a long way from pathetic. Sounds pretty sweet.


 
Posted : 17/10/2019 1:07 am
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No-one has summed up the predicament of the middle-aged, unimportant man better than TS Eliot.

No! I am not Prince Hamlet, nor was meant to be;
Am an attendant lord, one that will do
To swell a progress, start a scene or two,
Advise the prince; no doubt, an easy tool,
Deferential, glad to be of use,
Politic, cautious, and meticulous;
Full of high sentence, but a bit obtuse;
At times, indeed, almost ridiculous—
Almost, at times, the Fool.

I grow old ... I grow old ...
I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.

Shall I part my hair behind? Do I dare to eat a peach?
I shall wear white flannel trousers, and walk upon the beach.
I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.

I do not think that they will sing to me.


 
Posted : 17/10/2019 12:15 pm
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Be more fun ? everyones definition of fun is different .

The methods may vary, but you're not sat at home all night watching Love Island and cataloguing paper-clips. Are you fun to be around, good company, or are you a miserable bastard? That's what they were getting at I think.


 
Posted : 17/10/2019 12:31 pm
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Be more fun ? everyones definition of fun is different .

Are we about to have another 4 page argument about e-bikes?


 
Posted : 17/10/2019 12:35 pm
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@martinhutch - perfect, but you left off the last few lines...


I grow old … I grow old …
I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.

Shall I part my hair behind? Do I dare to eat a peach?
I shall wear white flannel trousers, and walk upon the beach.
I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.

I do not think that they will sing to me
No worries, my Strava time's top three

On the day
Out of the three riders who went that way. .


 
Posted : 17/10/2019 2:39 pm
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🙂

When the wind blows the water white and black.
We have lingered in the segments of the Peak
By E-bikes, wreathed with jerseys red and brown
'til human voices flag us, and we drown


 
Posted : 17/10/2019 2:48 pm
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What you need to define here is what is fun and what makes someone old..

I'm not middle ages but do I enjoy life for the most part ..not really.. I'm mutually competent with the way things are..do I have fun..sometimes yes..do I do stupid things to have fun ..well yes..but I live..

Do I fit in with my age group ..no ..I'm usually wearing cargo trousers,polishing and cycle shoes..am I comfortable ..yes..is it fashionable..I dont care..its just what i like and suits me..

Just because your middle aged doesn't mean your life done..I've had some good laughs and felt pretty damn good with middle aged people..they are usually mature and have a good sense of humor ..what more do you need..


 
Posted : 17/10/2019 3:28 pm
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Meh I'm 51 so grumpy middle aged man territory but my wife is 40, pretty and slim, my daughter is 6 and I work part time in my own business not stuck to a desk in a shit job. I still mountain bike and motorbike every week and still ride like a kid. Only my body telling me at times it's getting old but tbh compared to the options I'm happy as I am. It does take some concentration at times not to be the grumpy old man though !


 
Posted : 17/10/2019 4:04 pm
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What you need to define here is what is fun and what makes someone old..

Getting old doesn't stop you having fun, rather stopping having fun is what makes you old.


 
Posted : 17/10/2019 4:15 pm
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Diary of a NObody seems to be a manual for many of us. Definite Pooterish tendancies on here

,

Charles Pooter, his wife Carrie, his son William Lupin, Most of its humour derives from Charles Pooter's unconscious and unwarranted sense of his own importance, and the frequency with which this delusion is punctured by gaffes and minor social humiliations. In an era of rising expectations within the lower-middle classes, the daily routines and modest ambitions described in the Diary were instantly recognised by its contemporary readers, and provided later generations with a glimpse of the past that it became fashionable to imitate.


 
Posted : 17/10/2019 4:24 pm
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I’m starting to fight against making a sighing sound when I stand up or sit down.
Why fight it.


 
Posted : 17/10/2019 4:25 pm
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I’m starting to fight against making a sighing sound when I stand up or sit down.

The trouble is that these sounds are unconscious for me. It's hard to fight what you don't know you're doing.

Anyway I've more important things to think about, as soon as I remember what they are.

The best posts on this thread are the attempted humble brags from folk who can't quite manage to try to attempt to be humble...😁


 
Posted : 17/10/2019 4:39 pm
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The best posts on this thread are the attempted humble brags from folk who can’t quite manage to try to attempt to be humble…😁

My wife gave me a talisman with "best before 2098" engraved on it, as I'm currently 55yo I can't quite work out if it's something I should brag about ot not.


 
Posted : 17/10/2019 4:54 pm
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While we're being pathetic...

I'm leaving Oz tomorrow and selling the motorbike. The neighbours are interested, it's actually for Mum, but the daughter who's pretty nifty on a bike fancies it too.

I was pathetic enough want a photo even though I've known her for years, but managed to control the urge to get a selfie with her...

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Posted : 22/10/2019 11:17 am
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I'm nearly 40 and right now and really struggling with clothes. I'm too old for what I want to wear and too young for M&S.
Dress down Friday at work, I walk in wearing what is to me, normal casual clothes. Good pair of jeans with a turn-up, retro Nike's, check shirt, parka. Cue a pile of comments about wearing my son's clothes (I don't have a son...) and asking if I was a hipster (the beard may not help this...).


 
Posted : 22/10/2019 11:35 am
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I’m nearly 40 ...

... Good pair of jeans with a turn-up

******* hipsters.

At least tell me you left the trilby at home?


 
Posted : 22/10/2019 11:38 am
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… Good pair of jeans with a turn-up
parka

Streuth.


 
Posted : 22/10/2019 4:33 pm
 LAT
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I’m starting to fight against making a sighing sound when I stand up or sit down.

which end is emitting the sound?


 
Posted : 22/10/2019 5:42 pm
 LAT
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I’m nearly 40 and right now and really struggling with clothes

you aren’t even 40! It sounds to me like the folk you work with are the grumpy middle aged.

Unless of course they are a little “undersized” and it is more of a comment on the fit. /winkyface.

you could always get an m&s outfit for dress down Friday to keep your colleagues happy/quiet.

quick question, which may expose my lack of interest in fashion, aren’t vintage trainers a bit old and smelly?


 
Posted : 22/10/2019 5:51 pm
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63 here, 6' and 13st, silver hair, 2 bikes, 1 surfboard, retired for 5 years
I've never given up on any of my youthful enthusiasms and indulgences. I continue to have periodic obsessions (recently Victorian painting and wood carving) which seems to be out of my control.
I can now slow down and sit in a chair staring at the garden.
I've always worn the same sort of clothes, no change there.
Appreciate beautiful and bright women from afar but very happily married.
Haven't owned a TV for 30 years but still enjoy a loud blast on the record player.
Not much has changed. Is that a bad thing?


 
Posted : 22/10/2019 6:00 pm
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Dress down Friday at work

Why is this even a thing? It makes absolutely no sense that it exists. If your workplace functions perfectly well when everybody is dressed 'down' (apart from the guy who turns up in their son's clothes obvs) then what's the rationale for dressing 'up' the rest of the week?


 
Posted : 22/10/2019 6:05 pm
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This thread has caused me to have a good hard look at myself. 64, no prospect of retiring, still loving MTB (had a nasty off last weekend, though ...) and motorbikes, reasonably fit for my age. However, I really haven't come to terms with the facts that I probably look ridiculous dressed like a 30-odd year old and that I cannot hope to charm all (or in fact, any) women I meet. It's fairly pathetic, I now realise.


 
Posted : 23/10/2019 10:03 am
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Dress down Friday at work
Why is this even a thing? It makes absolutely no sense that it exists

A fair and reasonable question.
The answer we have is that in my industry you are expected to be smart at all times. But Friday's are more relaxed therefore so are your clothes.


 
Posted : 23/10/2019 10:14 am
 IHN
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Well, blimey, I wasn't expecting this to run to five pages. Then again, maybe I should have 🙂


 
Posted : 23/10/2019 10:18 am
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I'm just back from Oz, and I'm surprised no one has recognised the young lady in my post up there.

I thought this was a forum full of rising gods.

Now that's pathetic... 🙂


 
Posted : 25/10/2019 1:45 pm
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I’m just back from Oz, and I’m surprised no one has recognised the young lady in my post up there.

Is it Valarie Singleton?


 
Posted : 25/10/2019 1:48 pm
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Nope, that's Angela Rippon that is


 
Posted : 25/10/2019 2:05 pm
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no one has recognised the young lady in my post up there

Tracey Hannah?


 
Posted : 25/10/2019 2:05 pm
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Just moving to a bungalow. No more stairs after a day at work for me.


 
Posted : 25/10/2019 2:06 pm
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I’m just back from Oz, and I’m surprised no one has recognised the young lady in my post up there.

I thought this was a forum full of rising gods.

Now that’s pathetic… 🙂

I've no idea who that is. I'm just wondering why there is an upside down washing machine on the wall?


 
Posted : 25/10/2019 2:14 pm
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NewRetroTom

Tracey Hannah?

Yes. 🙂


 
Posted : 25/10/2019 2:27 pm
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