2-3 hours on A5

We did Shrewsbury to Porthmadog in 1 hr 40 across country last Friday, 73 miles. It's not particularly quick because a lot of people drive at 40 and there are few places to overtake, nice drive though.

Edit - didn't use the A5, went via Bala (Tanat Valley) then Trawsnfnffdyyfyy

Brum to Barmouth is around 2.5hr's (though it's been a while since I did it, to be fair) so add a bit more to get further North.
Roads can be fast, though most of the time you'll get stuck behind some slow numpty from Englandshire.

Think the fastest I ever did it was on an evil foggy night, when some yokel blasted past me, so I stuck to his tail and he dragged me there, showing me when to slow down and when to just keep going.

Get fuel when you have the opportunity, don't start looking when your nearly empty. Petrol stations are few and far between.

and definately don't go to a fancy dress party as a Sheep

Birmingham to West Wales?

Stay off the moors & stick to the roads & whatever you do don't stop for anyone

If you happen to run over a native, stick it in reverse & have another go at him & make sure he's dead - it'll be cheaper that way if you get caught
You don't want to be paying a fiver a week for the rest of your life to look after his half sister/wife now do you?

Once you get to Wales you can just act normally

lol at uplink 😆