[Closed] how do you break the news to your wife/significant other.

Fake an invoice for work on the car. They never question those complicated 4 wheeled objects.

Worked for me last time!

Tell her all the time you spend on here is in fact "research" and you've found that french doors are a massie security risk, and practically inviting thieves into your house. Also, the government will soon return to calculating tax based on the number of windows you have, so its best not to get french windows. Also with the impending fuel crisis, increasing fuel costs and the importance of looking after your health considering soon there will be no NHS to look after you, a new bike will help you stay fit and save money.

If you have to lie, you're under the thumb 🙄

"Oh, this old thing? I've had it years."

Seems to work for them with shoes and handbags.

if you have to preach, you own a very tall horse... 🙄

Tell her that the bike was 200 quid less than the doors and the 200 quid you've saved will go a long way to buying a new spine for yourself.

Tell her all the time you spend on here is in fact "research" and you've found that french doors are a massie security risk, and practically inviting thieves into your house. Also, the government will soon return to calculating tax based on the number of windows you have, so its best not to get french windows. Also with the impending fuel crisis, increasing fuel costs and the importance of looking after your health considering soon there will be no NHS to look after you, a new bike will help you stay fit and save money

It's also worth mentioning that French doors will be subject to a levy from our gallic cousins on the other side of the channel that will result in license fees of approximately 20 euros per month for the use of the word "French" so it's actually a net saving

Tell her ,that before trying a real relationship ,you really should have waited till you were more mature.
Don't worry ,she will find someone else at the youth club. 😆

You're stuffed I'm afraid.

If either of us want to buy something that we will value a lot, then that's fine if there's money in the bank. It beats lying to each other...

a French door for the lounge

Tell her you decided against it - a French door would only work four days a week, take two hour lunch breaks everyday, sleep with your wife and then start throwing fish at you when you complained.

You're stuffed I'm afraid.

This +1

Whose money was it?

If it was all yours than I'd say be honest and tell her you'd rather spend it on a bike.

If you jointly saved it your a selfish knob who will shortly be wishing he'd never been born.

If it was all (or even mainly) hers - can I have your bike?

You are the master of your household and what you spend your money on cannot be questioned.

Failing this, try the safety angle i.e. your old bike was 'dangerous' in some way

If you jointly saved it your a selfish knob who will shortly be wishing he'd never been born.

^ This.

Why would you do such a thing anyway? I don't understand. Why lie?

It won't be the new saddle causing erectile disfunction.

She won't go too mad which is why I've already bought it. Was just looking for a good angle on why I needed it..

xiphon - Member

Fake an invoice for work on the car. They never question those complicated 4 wheeled objects.

Worked for me last time!

LOL, I could see someone setting up a bike company called 'Auto Parts' doing quite well 😉

Just tell her you bought a bike*

*let me know how you get on, we've been saving like crazy for ages, but there's this boxset of Benefit concealers that I 'have' to have LOL, I want tips 😆

She won't go too mad which is why I've already bought it.

So why the dishonesty?

Didnt think she would be that interested in why I needed a charge blender. Suppose I could have asked her about colours and if it would match the curtains.

Didnt think she would be that interested in why I needed a charge blender

You don't need one.

Arrrrrrrgh... are you really Mrs cloudnine?

Arrrrrrrgh... are you really Mrs cloudnine?

I don't need all of my 5 bikes. But my Mrs knows that cycling is important to me, and trusts that I wouldn't buy a new bike unless we had the spare cash for it. Which is why I wouldn't lie to her about it.

ransos - Member
Didnt think she would be that interested in why I needed a charge blender
You don't need one.

That's right. He already brought it so he doesn't need another.

I hope for your sake she doesn't utter the immortal words

"I'm not angry, I'm just disappointed"

I just say its on a bike to work scheme - if she notices.

I don't need all of my 5 bikes. But my Mrs knows that cycling is important to me, and trusts that I wouldn't buy a new bike unless we had the spare cash for it. Which is why I wouldn't lie to her about it.

Well done you. Back in the real world, is it the same colour as your last one? If not, that was your first mistake.....

Actually I tell a little white lie. Last time I got a new bike (or best part of...), she demanded one too. Now she has 2 bikes, and I 3...

11 year old son is already showing excellent male tendencies in this respect...

Me - Great news son, I have permission to get that new guitar!

Son - Cool which one are you going to get? (we had both looked at two in the shop)

Me - Not sure - I really like the black one with the maple neck, but the three colour sunburst is lush

Son - get both then

Me - 😯 You know your mother - that would mean big trouble~!!!

Son - Nahhh - tell her they were on B.O.G.O.F

Nahhh - tell her they were on B.O.G.O.F - lol 😀

I hope for your sake she doesn't utter the immortal words

"I'm not angry, I'm just disappointed"

It's when she says "it's [i]fine[/i]" in 'that' voice you'll know that whilst it may look like you've gotten away with it now, at any given point in the future it's going to be dragged out of the grieveances database and will cost you the price of a Charge Blender x 2 in money / sweat / tears (delete as appropriate)

Good luck

grieveances database

Arf.

SELECT gripe FROM History WHERE date = 2_years_ago

My wife didn't like my Green bike and actaully told me to get a Black one. Gladly obliged.

Sometimes, just sometimes, its easier to fib. It is. It's the kindest thing to do. You wouldn't want the poor lass getting all het up.

SELECT gripe FROM History WHERE date = 2_years_ago

Select * from history where 1=1;

Fixed it for you...

Got totally busted.
Went out with the kids.. came back and neighbours had taken delivery of my bike. They stick their head out the window as we arrived back and shouted that my new bike had arrived. For a minute my Mrs got all excited thinking id bought her a bike..
10 seconds silence..
Then.. 'I think you should buy me a bike too...'

at least she dident mention the doors....

As long as there's a bit left in the door kitty to get her a cheap but shiny bike then it's all gravy.

If not...

slainte 😯 rob

easier to ask for forgiveness than permission

Well done Mrs CloudNine! And much funnier then most of the posts in this thread.

So now you've got to buy her a bike and pay for the new french doors 😆

You sir, are boned 😉

Surely something along the lines of "I've been thinking about your back doors but got distracted and bought a bike instead" - will either prompt her feeling relieved or disappointed?

I love this tormented hiding things from your partner stuff. It's slightly tragic and makes me feel vaguely fortunate.

Right now, in the cupboard under my stairs, are two carrier bags stuffed full of brand new XT bits belonging to my mate, who is hiding them from his wife - not because he's not 'allowed' to buy them and build up a new bike, but because he's terrified that the sheer number of boxes would bring the reality of his addiction home to roost.

Mind you, knowing Shimano, mostly the contents will be great wads of superfluous instructions in 78 different languages. They really don't seem to give a stuff about sustainability do they? I've never seen so much unnecessary packaging, documentation and built-in obsolescence in my life. Nothing they make is economically rebuildable. They must spend billions on printing documents that are instantly discarded as soon as the box is opened. And the sheer size and glossiness of those boxes must have destroyed countless marriages and kept lawyers ticking over for years now.

Anyway...