My wife often says I don’t see the good in people like she does but I just find it really hard to see any good in these people or at least enough good to cancel out them being utter nobs.
I just assume everyone is an utter **** until they prove otherwise. It’s a pretty much 50/50 split on whether I change that assumption. I hate picking my son up from school for the very reasons you describe plus the fact that most of the parents come across like teenagers desperate to belong. It’s rather sad and pathetic, yet amusing to behold.
I also agree on calling people out when they say something revolting or just plain stupid. Normally shuts them up and means they leave you alone too which is a bonus. Don’t worry about it OP. Life’s too short. Just be a good person, spend time with your loved ones and doing stuff that makes you happy. **** everything else.
Facebook/forums etc.....unless you feel like a bit of sado-masochism - block instantly. Don’t engage, you can’t have a logical discussion with stupid.
Real life - more difficult particularly when it’s people in the same social circle e.g. in my case the Mrs’ friends’ other halves....smile Nd tolerate it while you have to.
Generally....limit your exposure and try to ignore the fact that these people exist.
Move to Spain the people are so nice there.
British people have a problem with everything! Except doffing their cap, knowing their place and shitting on anyone below them, for the sake of petty one-upmanship, which is so easily exploited by their betters.
Avoid public facing jobs. Thick as **** people make you want to kick every last one of them to pulp, grind them to powder and burn it. If only you could burn away all the combustion by products!
@teethgrinder nailed it for me.
If my Gran copy and paste posts some xenophobic bollocks on Facebook about immigrants with the title “I hope my real friends are brave enough to copy and paste this onto their pages”.
Remind her that the people who are going to be taking care of her in her twilight years are likely to be brown.
Or, if they've 'gone back where they came from,' they aren't going to be magically replaced by white doctors / nurses / orderlies / staff but instead that support simply won't be there.
There's a reason that we've got a disproportionate number of immigrants in the health service. It's because after WWII we turned to the Indian subcontinent and went "for the love of Allah, will you send us some doctors please? We're ****ed".
Cope? **** it, I stopped coping at least five years ago. Very liberating, as it turned out, when I think of all the effort I put into coping before that... The world didn't end, I wasn't really any worse off than I was the day before when I was apparently coping. The people that matter have your back, the people that don't matter don't matter, any opportunities you miss probably weren't opportunities anyway because they'd have involved a lot more coping.
These days I just do stuff, or don't do stuff, without worrying about the score.
ranting about how mentally ill people cant be cured so should just be shot
– spend their time just being utterly obnoxious to everyone
– believe that other people are ‘better off’ than they, via claiming welfare benefits
– are bitter and angry about sharing the country with non-white people
Sounds like the entry requirements for the Daily Mail.
Most people split into two types...
51s - voted Brexit, Boris, Racist, sexist, gammom, read the Daily Mail, dont believe in Covid, selfish, rules dont apply, poorly educated (all types)
49s - voted remain, considerate, polite, follow rules, believe in covid, well educated (all types)
You notice the 51s as they are mostly gobshites.
I dont give time, money or business to 51s, i take every opportunity to point out how thick they are and suggest a vaccine is a waste of time.
Control the inflow of bollocks as much as you can and realize you will never change people so don't go mad trying to win every battle. I'm in a couple of right-on FB groups and they can be just as toxic as the right wing ones sometimes with people berating those who are not vocal enough. You have to pick a few battles, just not then all
Oh, and 4% thing does seem to work regardless of the environment
Podge - I've met and ridden with you a few times and you come across as shy (maybe I'm wrong.)
I'm coping only because I'm married to someone amazing, live in a nice place with a garden am self employed (not dealing with many people) also I don't read face book and have amazing fiends all of whom I miss so much.
Everyone is in some kind of turmoil atm.
Everyone should have amazing fiends. Makes life much better.
When it comes to social media. My basic rule is questioning myself would I bother trying to engage with this person if they were rambling on with such views/topics/trivia at the pub/bar, or would I just dismiss them as some drunken idiot and go back to where people I liked were sat.
Since taking this approach I havent been on facebook/twitter for more than a cumulative total of about 20 minutes in circa 8 years. The signal to noise ratio is massively unfavourable.
I find it far more value to come on a 'bike' forum and talk about tyres, helmets, old rave tunes, frozen sausages, and bangernomics with people that I've never even met.
How to people cope? how do you let it wash over you and not let it grind you down?
I don't go anyway near them regardless as they are different side of the same coin. Both sides would have established their own self moral justification to legitimise their actions. They can do as they wish so long as they don't bother me.
I’m finding my social circle shrinking and shrinking which probably isn’t healthy but then hanging out with some people just makes me uneasy.
Do you need social circle? My social circle is on the other side of the world which I hardly see, while in the UK I only see one friend sometimes and the rest are all colleagues which I don't have anything in common with. Social circle is overhyped.
When it comes to social media. My basic rule...
I find it far more value to come on a ‘bike’ forum
You do realise that a web forum is a social medium, right?
As trite as it is, I have an "inspirational quote" printed out and stuck above my desk. It has really helped me at work, but for the last year or so I have been increasingly applying it to my personal life too:
You will never reach your destination if you stop and throw stones at every dog that barks.
Winston Churchill
It's really helped me to focus on what I am doing, my objectives, my needs..... rather than all the other crap going on around me, which has certainly increases in volume (in both senses of the word) given the recent unpleasantness (Brexit, Trump, Covid)
i too am labeled a miserable bastard. im of an age and disposition where i wont waste my time doing things i dont like or with people i dont like anymore. never bother with the office socials or anything like that, wont go to my cousins wedding who i have not spoke to for 20years just because he's my cousin etc.
the difference is i am not effected by it. non plussed. meh. i harbour many the same views about the public but it does not anger or upset me. i see non mask wearer and just smile at what a nob he looks. i can appreciate when the car in front is driving appallingly and holding me up, my passenger has steam coming out of her ears but i have no reaction. some say my laid back attitude is a negative feature, as it appears that i couldnt give a **** about anything. perhaps i cant, perhaps its an inbuilt coping mechanism? i also struggle with sympathy or compassion, but i think im just a positive, glass half full (albeit slightly introverted) person.
i have my family, my friends, my dogs and my bike - and my health. what on earth have i got to be angry about!? the only thing that makes me sad is a inclement weather forecast!
What do you do when it's your family though?
I'll be honest, the last year of not speaking to my ignorant, racist sister in law has been rather nice.
The only problems is that she's still been getting my mum to look after the kids so my mum's 2 sources of opinions are now from her & the Dailly mail
I've actually had to hang up on my mum a couple of times when she's said some really racist stuff recently, I dont know how to handle it.
Thanks for the replies everyone. The ride was better than expected, managed some new places so that kept my mind occupied.
Selfishly its nice to here some people in similar mindset, would be nice if I could adopt more of some people's sod it attitude but I'm not someone who can chat about our shared love of bikes when I know they'd happily put a bullet in someone because they are differed, I cant detach those two things. Had a couple of rants at people in work about their shitty views but it just washes off them.
In some ways I'm not bothered what people do on the school run but when they are setting an example to my kid that you can just ignore whatever the teachers have asked you to do, it sucks. Mini me wants to run with his mate Johnny the wrong way round the one ways system and I have to explain nicely that Johnny's parent is a prick and we'll be doing things properly... Unfortunately Johnny is now a group of about 10 because "well, everyone else is doing it"
I don't really do social media, its all been trimmed back as I've really no interest in other people's vanity. I quite often write replies on here and then just never press send as there seems little point. Got into a bit of doomscrolling with the Brexit / trump threads but you seem to handle the nob heads in there quite well without me.
@Bunnyhop, not shy, just a reluctance to engage.
@batfink I like that quote but I'm carrying a herd of cats so I have to throw stones some times.
As for poppy nut, I cant find the strip I wanted but this kind of says it just as well.
What do you do when it’s your family though?
I have a couyple of brexiteer borderline racist family members I interact with on facebook. when they post up britain first crap " if you are a patriot you will agree with this" stuff I point out to them the source adn they way outfits like britain first use the likes to claim popularity. They have actually stopped doing it
Still the same hard right views which I just ignore mainly unless its something really stupid when I calmly correct themthen move on after one post
its tricky to find the right balance and I don't interact with them IRL
You will never reach your destination if you stop and throw stones at every dog that barks.
Winston Churchill
Good quote I like! 👍
@ erictwinge
Good positive views 👍
Agree with all the points.
As for driving I used to drive in the far east and if people want to get angry they should drive in the far east. You will learn that it is absolutely pleasant driving in the UK. Those driving appallingly in the UK does not even come near by comparison to some other countries. I got cut off at the round about (my right of way) about 4 feet in front of me a few times but since I drove at the right speed my pulse rate did not even increase a beat. I knew I could stop but I just let it "cruise", but I bet the other bloke might be wetting himself as I did not even apply brake. 🤣
i have my family, my friends, my dogs and my bike – and my health. what on earth have i got to be angry about!? the only thing that makes me sad is a inclement weather forecast!
This 👍 The rest of the world is irrelevant.
You do realise that a web forum is a social medium, right?
Yep, it was intended as somewhat tongue in cheek. Although it is also a fairly genuine claim, discussions about various (often near nonsense) topics on here, with a bunch of strangers is something I find more enjoyable than being subjected to some friends spouses objectional rant or rritatingly trivial update.
I think the difference for me, is that on here I dont have to question peoples validity as a 'friend' - its all just anonymous voices I can either take note of, or alternatviely ignore, with realtive ease. Facebook on the other hand, seemed to create an environment where I began to dislike people I'd previously got on with for years quite happily.
51s – voted Brexit, Boris, Racist, sexist, gammom, read the Daily Mail, dont believe in Covid, selfish, rules dont apply, poorly educated (all types)
49s – voted remain, considerate, polite, follow rules, believe in covid, well educated (all types)
You notice the 51s as they are mostly gobshites.
Well, thank you so much for your reasoned summing up of me and most of my friends, who all conveniently fit into your first age group, including my sadly deceased girlfriend.
How about I call you a narrow-minded, opinionated asshat?
Jackass. 🤬
It's not an age group though. % votes.
The delivery might not be to your taste but this message is very good.
I avoid people with shitty viewpoints, life's too short. I have a very small circle of friends. However there are probably several different reasons for that which may not be linked.
I'd rather be on my own than with people I don't like.
I work in tenanted properties and come across the bloody foreigners getting houses taking our jobs etc.
I tell them my wife's a foreigner from ****stan, should she go home or is she a bloody foreigner and inquire what skills they have to offer the workforce. They generally leave me alone for the day after that. A manager asked me to stop doing it so I threatend to report him to the CEO for racism. He leaves me alone now as well.