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Fill the cat with a gold metallic filler, or epoxy mixed with gold powder paint,
Yeah build a new table out of whatever that yellow thing is made out of.
8 metal brackets to hold that wooden bit seems overkill when the weight of the actual table top is supported by the frame sides of the table structure.
Why does it need to be fixed and why the time constraint. I have only just seen this thread so might not be able to help in time but thought I would check.
Don't leave that kettle bell in the room.
I watched the Repair Shop last night on BBC (wonderful program, great craft and lovely stories) and one piece was rebuilding a smashed alabaster lampshade from about 40 bits back into the whole.
I know it's too late for you but they didn't use a large piece of ply, araldite, or a kettlebell, and they made a way better job of it than you 😉
I like the idea of highlighting the repair rather than hiding it. A stylish crack that you like looking at sounds way better than a horrible old one you try to hide away.
S****.