Have you ever kicked someone out of bed for eating crisps?

My mate caught his wife eating something in bed.
It wasn’t crisps and it wasn’t his.
He kicked  her out.

My cousin and his wife had his and hers drinks cabinets by their bed.
She moaned to me that he was drinking vodka out of a mug.
Vodka in bed no problem.The fact it was from a mug....standards must be upheld.

She moaned to me that he was drinking vodka out of a mug.

Should have used a pint glass like the rest of us. Philistine.

i've never heard the phrase.

but regardless, i wouldnt kick someone out of bed for crisps, or eating anything.... it would be a flying headbutt.

food, bed, not in my house sir!!!

If they keep the crumbs on their side,  not my problem

'he kicked her out' and then what?

perchypantherFree Member

My mate caught his wife eating something in bed.
It wasn’t crisps and it wasn’t his.

Someone’s twiglet?

What kind of crisps are we talking here?

Cheesy Wosits? Kettle Chips?

I've never actually kicked anyone out of bed. Is this something I need to remedy?

...getting someone into bed is a bigger issue! 🙂

Mrs TJ once got into the habit of eating pickled onions in bed.  I had to say enough is enough and that it wasn't acceptable.   One of the few times I had to put my foot down.   Fortunately she agreed to stop so I didn't actually kick her out of bed

So not quite  but nearly

‘he kicked her out’ and then what?

Finished the job?

I forgot to add the term used around here is “i wouldn’t kick her out of bed for farting.”

“i wouldn’t kick her out of bed farting.”

That would involve some very good timing skills

Breakfast - tick

Coffee or Tea - tea

Crisps....that's the sort of thing you monsters with a TV in the bedroom might do.

I might if they weren’t sharing the crisps.

That would involve some very good timing skills

Ooops!

i wouldn’t kick her out of bed for farting.”

Heard that many a time in the midlands, usually associated with someone of the opposite sex spotted in a social situation.

I guess meaning you'd forgive a lot to get them into bed in the first place.

Isn't the English language beautiful. I might try and explain that phrase to my Portuguese and Polish work mates

I wouldn’t kick her out of bed for farting.

Another one in the same vein: "well I wouldn't climb over her to get to you"

Heard that many a time in the midlands, usually associated with someone of the opposite sex spotted in a social situation.

That’s the one. Often followed by “Waheeeeey!” and/or “Phwoooarrr!”

Depends on what flavour they're eating...

Who can tell what flavour they are when the colours are all confused like that?

Pink = salt and vinegar?

Oh no. Just no.

Exactly

“i wouldn’t kick her out of bed farting.”

That would involve some very good timing skills

I once farted so loudly it scared the cat, he leapt up off the bed and shot off like the proverbial, which woke my girlfriend and me unpopular. Only time I've ever farted someone out of bed🤷