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[Closed] Have you ever been the victim of an 'unwanted/inappropriate sexual advance'

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Yeah, twice, both times from other blokes when I was a kid 13 or 14 or so.

First time on a train somewhere round Clapham Junction. One of those older trains that had compartments that only had doors on the outside at each end so you could only get in or out by getting on or off the train. Got on the train, another bloke already in there. As soon as the train started moving he whips out the old todger and proceeds to give it a right good seeing to. Which was nice.

Then a time at Paddington station, went to the gents, stepped into a stall and sat down. Shortly after I hear someone do the same in the next door trap. Then about a minute later a note comes under the dividing wall "is there anything I can do for you" written on it. Kecks up, out the door.

God, there's some pervs out there. I've never been the same since.


 
Posted : 11/10/2017 4:00 pm
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At least we know where smell_it's username comes from now.

😆 I had already had one dirty sausage that day! I must admit I didn't hang around long enough to inspect his knob hygiene standards.


 
Posted : 11/10/2017 4:02 pm
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Ah Yes, this I can relate to..

Loooong time ago in a far off land (Essex) I used to travel up there to meet some friends I'd made on the sailing circuit, a small group from a sailing club up there.

Anyhoo's there was a small Pub that we all used to meet up in, have a few beers, curry then pop around the corner to the outbuilding attached to the pub to listen to "Essex Finest Rock Bands of the Day" as one does.
I'd been going up there about 6mths and there was a decent large group of us, about 20 or so.. mixed half and half boys/girls and the inevitable hanger'onners that came and went..
One evening, late Summer and we're having one of those evenings when a girl seemed to take a fancy to me, as expected being the handsome chap that I am. The evening went well, too many beers for some and a couple for me and it's time to head back home.. I was offered a lift by the girl and off we shot down and out of the village.. and carried on past my mates house.. so I asked "hmmm.. where are we going?" "I thought we'd have a nightcap at my place" and my eyebrow raised about 20mm.. so we get there, lovely place overlooking the harbour and set in a loft above a boat shed.. I thought to myself "oh, niiiiice" as we pulled up into the small drive way the car halted suddenly and then barely stopped when she pounced upon me.. full face into my lap and her hands and tongue entering places only fit for me to hold/use/utilise.. clambering for air and space I reached for the door and opened it, to this end her leg and skirt upended and she's now wearing the skirt as a necktie and her legs are preparing for take off, still gasping for air and now she's undressing me and groping and gasping and it's getting all claustrophobic..and take off seemed seconds away....

Well.. I did take off.. actually I ran as fast out of the car and down the lane as humanly possible, being a fit bugger I didn't stop and barely out of breath before I realised I'd probably ran about 2miles in about 40 seconds..
The last I heard was ringing in my ears " Hey, where are you? where have you gone? whats wrong? "why don't........" and that was it.. its all i heard as I was legging it down the road.

2mths or so later and we're back in the pub, (having recounted the experience to my mates about a week later after the event) and she walks in.. she walked directly over to me and planted a massive snog on my mush and said loudly " thats what you missed, you must be Gay"
Well, the place erupted and beer spat everywhere and as she walked out lifted her skirt and showed me and the pub her bare bottom, without pants.

A moment in time I'll never forget, one that i still laugh and get embarrassed about to this day. Each and every time I recount it I get met with two distinct retorts: 1) that I am actually Gay for not taking her up on the offer of a sordid night of sex and 2) that I got away just in time and she was a little desperate to pick on me.

It's a curse being so damn handsome...

The second time my best mate accused me of flirting with his then Girlfriend, he being extremely insecure and she being a right randy mare they were made for each other. Good looking and fit she was, very well off and in a job that only he could ever dream of entering the foyer of.. One too many occasions of her grabbing may arse, my privates in the pub or restaurants, undoing her blouse and flashing her tits, talking dirty and on one occasion rubbing something slimy on my lips..
God, awful time.. how do you tell your mate she's just some deranged sex manic on the prowl and after me..

Anyway he punched me in the face one night after a crazy argument started by him over [i]me[/i] approaching [i]his[/i] girlfriend.. and I retaliated, had enough and blatted it all out.. he reverted to type and punched me out.
That was the end of that friendship and last I heard he's working for Mark Warner Holidays working his way through the seasons fresh interns for the impending season....


 
Posted : 11/10/2017 4:03 pm
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I don't want to bring down the whole tone of the conversation here, but the choice of wording by the media is terrible!.

Since when was a rape allegation called an "unwanted sexual advance"?

Worse than those "a person was injured after a car hit a tree" absent driver news reports.


 
Posted : 11/10/2017 4:07 pm
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Drac - Moderator
I’ve been sexually assaulted at work.

Assuming that's a serous remark, I'm sorry to hear that, I hope you got the support you needed.


 
Posted : 11/10/2017 4:11 pm
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Since when was a rape allegation called an "unwanted sexual advance"?

I think the rape allegations came in later. for several days this was a story about 'unwanted sexual advances'.

Which in turn was probably just the only wording they felt they could use without leaving themselves open to libel proceedings...


 
Posted : 11/10/2017 4:13 pm
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I've just read this page and at the top of the tread and found this:

Drac - Moderator
I’ve been sexually assaulted at work.

That Sir is shit. I hope you found some recourse for the action or at least came to terms with it..


 
Posted : 11/10/2017 4:16 pm
 DrJ
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Not really sure of the point the OP is trying to make though.....

Nor me, but it made me think ...


 
Posted : 11/10/2017 4:16 pm
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Yes, a few times. I used to hitch-hike a lot in the 70's (it was a standard way of travelling then, youngsters) and the hand on my knee wasn't that rare. Usually there was nothing more than that and a few requests. You learn to turn them down gracefully, I suppose in the same way that women learn to cope with gropers.


 
Posted : 11/10/2017 4:28 pm
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[quote=ads678 ]Not really sure of the point the OP is trying to make though.....

I'm wondering if we're supposed to be playing guessing games.


 
Posted : 11/10/2017 4:47 pm
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I wish!


 
Posted : 11/10/2017 4:48 pm
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I wish!

Not sure it falls under 'unwanted' if you wish for it eh?


 
Posted : 11/10/2017 4:57 pm
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Love these threads...

I wonder if some of the experiences related would not have been rebuffed if the circumstances had been different i.e. not in a relationship (OP) or maybe a bit older and wiser and able to deal with things a bit better?


 
Posted : 11/10/2017 5:10 pm
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I've had my drink spiked, along with several others present at the same house party. Funny it was not.


 
Posted : 11/10/2017 5:20 pm
 tang
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Yes, I’ve been sexually assaulted twice as a teen by men. I also as a child ended up in the house (it’s a sad story involving a vulnerable lad I made friends with one summer) of a infamous pedo ring, amazingly I escaped untouched. However, the memory of that day chills me to the bone even now 35 years later. Trapped and powerless is true fear.


 
Posted : 11/10/2017 5:25 pm
 Drac
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No not STW and yes I was serious.

No I didn’t take any action against them, I should of but I did that I’m a bloke thing.


 
Posted : 11/10/2017 5:29 pm
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I was thinking, no I've never been the victim of an unwanted sexual advance, and then my mind drifted back to my merchant navy days and the lady boy incident in Singapore 😆


 
Posted : 11/10/2017 5:32 pm
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A few times at uni and work.

Most were the usual groin grabbing "your body mine tonight..." moment by various girls but the most unusual - and scary for an 18 year old away from home for the first time - was a bloke during my first term at uni. who hadn't been anything other than a straight brummie football fan.

Anyway I had just been out for a ride on my bike and had come back and left my bike outside my room in halls of residence while I was getting changed.

When I returned I caught him sniffing my saddle followed by a attempted pass along the lines of "have you ever seen a grown man naked" and dropping his towel!

I'd probably p*ss myself laughing these days but at the time I was literally scared stupid.


 
Posted : 11/10/2017 5:36 pm
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Nope, but I am fugly and fat and not a very nice person so it's not surprising.. 😀


 
Posted : 11/10/2017 5:38 pm
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In my home town there were underground public toilets in the main square.
When I was about 13 or 14, one day I got caught short and had to use them for a dump. Was sat down on my seat contemplating life looking at the floor when a hairy backed hand comes snaking under the wall from the adjoining cubicle [b]with neon pink painted fingernails.[/b] I was absolutely terrified, life in 1970's small town NZ didn't really prepare you for this sort of encounter . Sat there for a few seconds, heart racing then stood up, stomped on the hand with all the force I could muster, pulled up my pants fast as I could, unwiped arse and all, and ran for the stairs.

Still haunted by this today- the hand was a ****ing shocker.


 
Posted : 11/10/2017 5:40 pm
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Yes but it didn't require more than "I'm flattered and that's very kind of you but... no" to disipate. More men than women and one male when I was underage. It affected me so little that is was only when reading through others' experiences above it came back to mind. A female colleague was more insistant than she should have been but it never got nasty. And now I've remembered a truck driver when hitch hiking than came very close to a jack-knifed arctic on the motorway, so perhaps it did require more than words just once.

In response to Jive's opening post a good friend used to service a very well-known roadie cyclist's wife while the rider was away racing. My mate's wife found out which precipitated an overdue divorce but I'm pretty sure the roadie and his wife are still a couple.


 
Posted : 11/10/2017 5:45 pm
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Yes; from my mother when I was about 13. It was during my parents divorce (I lived with my father), and I didn't immediately understand what was happening, but felt [i]very[/i] uncomfortable and had to escape.

I've never told anyone about it before. Never really saw the point as frankly it's quite humiliating, and still makes me feel nauseous. Easier to blank it out.

Suffice to say, I don't see her anymore - been happily estranged for years now.


 
Posted : 11/10/2017 5:54 pm
 nerd
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I was propositioned twice by a colleague while travelling for work. The first time we were in India and she told me she was in an open relationship and would I like her to visit my room later that evening?

The second time was in Zurich with much the same, she also told me she usually hooks up with people at conferences.

She was very clear in her intentions but I just did the usual thing of pretending to not hear it.

It was never a problem, though, and we carried on working together for another couple of years and we see each other sociably occasionally. She's nice and I probably would have if I hadn't have been (and still am) in a not-open relationship!


 
Posted : 11/10/2017 6:01 pm
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At risk of getting a ban I'll add a photo. Back when wearing lycra for climbing was the done thing I used to boulder on Sitges beach. Sitges at the time was a gay resort (perhaps still is) with its infamous street of sin and groups wandering the beaches on the pick up. I soon learned that bouldering without Madame for company created more spectator interest than I was used to, I could have made a fortune! Well how much?

[img] [/img]

Having typed "Sitges gay bar" into Google images I can confirm that nothing has changed. If you feel uncomfortable being eyed up and propositioned by people of your own sex it's not the destination for you.


 
Posted : 11/10/2017 6:15 pm
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No, but I always fancied goosing Cyril Smith.


 
Posted : 11/10/2017 6:18 pm
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Bodgy you're a brave man to admit that on forum.
I only hope that the mental damage it must have done to you will get easier eventually. Maybe this will be the start?
Hope so.


 
Posted : 11/10/2017 7:00 pm
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Choppersquad - Thanks, bud. Nothing brave about it though really; what happened happened. Can't argue with the truth and [i]all that[/i]. I've had a dysfunctional relationship with my mother ever since she left, in another life it might have been different.

More important is to remove the stigma. You can't argue with the truth, only move on.


 
Posted : 11/10/2017 7:26 pm
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Me and a mate were mucking around on some waste ground, aged around 12-13 years old and we found some sort of shelter, thought it would be glue sniffers only to discover a naked bald fat man who asked us to join him whilst he was (adjusting himself) .. We politely declined his offer and retreated then we went for a "shock and awe" style of barrage using stone's bricks and bottles.


 
Posted : 11/10/2017 7:26 pm
 Drac
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At risk of getting a ban I'll add a photo

🙄

Bloody hell some of you really have experienced some awful things. I do hope you all look at getting some help. 😐


 
Posted : 11/10/2017 7:29 pm
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At risk of getting a ban I'll add a photo

Ban him. It's [b]pink[/b] lycra.


 
Posted : 11/10/2017 7:32 pm
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Have smiley: 😯 , it's too late to add one with an edit.


 
Posted : 11/10/2017 7:32 pm
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Too traumatised by nobeer and perchy to pass comment... 😀

I’d heard they were both easy bets so thought I’d take my chance, now I feel shunned 😛


 
Posted : 11/10/2017 7:46 pm
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[quote=Edukator ]At risk of getting a ban I'll add a photo. Back when wearing lycra for climbing was the done thing I used to boulder on Sitges beach. Sitges at the time was a gay resort (perhaps still is) with its infamous street of sin and groups wandering the beaches on the pick up.

You're not fooling anybody by suggesting your choice of clothing wasn't deliberate.


 
Posted : 11/10/2017 7:57 pm
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This photo made me chuckle.

You first view it whilst scrolling and think "Oh, high mountain free climbi... Nope - 2ft."

[img] [/img]

Sorry, J. 🙂


 
Posted : 11/10/2017 8:00 pm
 tang
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I did have to do a bit of work to move on from my experiences.
At least the ads are keeping up
[IMG] [/IMG]


 
Posted : 11/10/2017 8:03 pm
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I know my limits. 8)


 
Posted : 11/10/2017 8:06 pm
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Nothing more than unwanted advances at work from quite a few female (and one male...) customers. One woman grabbed my hand and stuck it down her skirt!

Makes me sound like a stud but in reality I'm an odd looking short Welshman and the ones I attract are almost exclusively not attractive at all. I'd make a good piece of bait for a Japanese 'Scientific Survey' fishing boat, let's put it that way :mrgreen:

I think they think they sense desperation in me as I've been single a while. I don't have the heart to tell them the smell is chain lube and sealant 😆


 
Posted : 11/10/2017 8:41 pm
 Gunz
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Last year during lunch time circuit training a girl in her twenties (I was 45) said I had a nice bum and pinched it. Luckily we operate under the Armed Forces Discipline Act so I was able to call her out on the spot and stop her weekend leave. I actually felt like I might be overreacting but then considered how I'd feel if someone did that to my daughter in public.


 
Posted : 11/10/2017 9:29 pm
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Rohypnol'd by a Brazilian woman in a bar in new York in 2003. Thankfully my mate got me out of there

A ridiculously persistent girl I used to work with who couldn't understand why I was rejecting her. Got very uncomfortable.

Having many gay friends, numerous propositions when I've been in gay bars or clubs with them and having to let the potential suitor down gently and explain my preferred tendency didn't align with the current venue


 
Posted : 11/10/2017 10:21 pm
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Meanwhile, in China,

https://www.8shit.net/serious/mystical-chinese-man-claims-can-predict-womans-future-fondling-breasts/

(Caveat, there's little reliable commentary to explain what's actually going on)


 
Posted : 11/10/2017 10:40 pm
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I saw a famous former page 3 model and reality tv star at a grocery store in Brighton. I told her how cool it was to meet her in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother her and ask her for photos or anything.
She said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”
I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but she kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing her hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard her chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw her trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in her hands without paying.
The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “miss, you need to pay for those first.” At first she kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.
When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, she stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, she kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.
I decided to use a different till to avoid the awkwardness. As I left the shop she was outside. She began throwing the Milky Ways at me as she sang "Follow me follow me, breathe me in, swallow me" ... I hurried to my car and drove away as fast as I legally could!


 
Posted : 11/10/2017 10:43 pm
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Was that a joke?


 
Posted : 11/10/2017 10:49 pm
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It was definitely something. Maybe just

[img] [/img]


 
Posted : 11/10/2017 11:06 pm
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Quote - "Last year during lunch time circuit training a girl in her twenties (I was 45) said I had a nice bum and pinched it. Luckily we operate under the Armed Forces Discipline Act so I was able to call her out on the spot and stop her weekend leave. I actually felt like I might be overreacting but then considered how I'd feel if someone did that to my daughter in public"

FFS, it's the end of the world as we know it.
As a man in your mid 40's,could you not just have been flattered that a young girl in her 20's has even noticed you exist?


 
Posted : 11/10/2017 11:42 pm
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As a woman in your mid 40's,could you not just have been flattered that a young man in his 20's has even noticed you exist?

Yes that works just as well 😕


 
Posted : 12/10/2017 12:15 am
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