Forum menu
Ah!
"The moment I don't show any affection she get's all upset and starts cuddlig up, the moment I give in and return the affection she's back to bored indifference."
This is nothing to do with love...it's all about power! Time for a sharp exit!
Sounds like you know what the situation really is? It's hard breaking up, whether you are the "dumper" or "dumpee". But just remember, the vast majority of the time, a few months (or maybe a bit longer...) makes you realise it was the right decision.
Exit stage left
Was in a relationship like this once...it only gets worse (and in my case involved a pricey divorce).
I'm just surprised no-one has mentioned Bomber-based ownage or a shoe-wee interface event yet. 🙂
Bestmate once went out with a serious chav. Big hoop earings the lot when he was down mentally and at the bottom for a while. Her friend called round once when I was staying over- a bottle of Smirnoff ice, fag in hand and 8months pregnant.
He told me it was great sex but everything else was 'wrong'. Hes with a proper/great girl now 😀
Get out on one of these singletons STW meets! See life in a different way with folk with a common interest. Girls go too by the sounds of it and your social life may just be redirected.
You just have to make the break, feel the fear and do it anyway!
I'm single teagirl. 8)
Try doing all the sick and disgusting sexual stuff that you've spared her from up until now. She'll either feel utterly repulsed and dump you, or you may be pleasently surprised by her kinkyness and warm to her again.
Either way it's Win Win for you
Hora, Good! Get out with notspoon on a Singletons meet! I'll just hang out with the Nidderdale ride crew. Picnics R Us by the sounds of it! Nomnom...
Get single quick, don't even consider getting serious with anyone until your at least 30.
Enjoy life!
2ND enfht, I waited 'til after we'd split up though, amazing what a girl will do when she's trying to get you back!
if mrshora is reading this I missed typed/left out 'not' 😆
GaryLake - Member
If yo' havin' girl problems, I feel bad for you son...
I got ninety nine problems but saying 'its not you, it's me' ain't one...
😉
Just point out that you're young and she's OLD. That should do it.
don't do anything, just ignore her; don't answer phonecalls / texts / whatever.
Eventually her dignity will kick in and she'll get the message.
leaving one more emotionally scarred woman for the rest of us to deal with...
To preserve some dignity for both of you just tell her that it's not working out, the relationship isn't what you're looking for and you think it better that you split up. Relatively painless for you both - that 'it's not you it's me' or whatever is just dishonest and suitable for a 14 year old. Sad, but every relationship ends sooner or later. So get out of it, and then the two of you can start a new one and move on.
Aye well son...next time go for the nice ones rather than the glam' ones; they're usually not so up themselves!
MTFU and split up, you sound like you need to be told right.
I've been there done that, like most blokes on here, i'm now married to my amazing wife, i didn't think women like her existed till i met her.
Marrige and love should feel easy with the right partner, not stressful.
If you dont want to be with her, tell her straight but in a considerate way ie tell her how you feel and do it in private, not in the middle of a pub or suchlike. If you want support, ask a friend to be there with the 2 of you.
If you string her along or treat her badly, people who know you and/or her will disrespect you for being mean and gutless. Its not easy to live that kind of image down, its always there in the back of peoples minds, as well as your own!
From her point of view, its better to be told it is going wrong than to find out months along the line that someone has been stringing her along like a fool, while bitching about her to anyone who will listen (how would you feel?). It would be even worse if you string her along as a handy lay while looking for something better, though realise this may not be what you are doing at all.
Whatever you do, leave her some self esteem and pride. It won't really cost you anything and you will be a better person for it.
Even if your situation is difficult (and these things can be truly painful for all) deal with things in the most decent way you can. Treat her how you would wish to be treated yourself in the same situation.
OP has she made any noises about children/future/settling down/mortgage together?
I'm guessing but if she has- I suggest ending it asap and letting her move on/find someone who is ready to do this. Don't keep her hanging.
I'm guessing of course based on the age difference.
I have just broke up with someone the same age and i'm as old as you, She realised after 5 years when i started going out with my mates coming home drunk and spending less nights with her something was up. I hung on for 4 months thinking about it and hoping things would change but they didnt so told her how i felt and called it quits before Christmas!
Spent more time with my mates than i ever have, which i've enjoyed a lot as i missed out on my drinking and shaging around years, Now met a new girl and TBH she is awesome in every way i need 🙂 She gets on with my mates as i do with hers which is a big bonus for me.
at the right moment shout out the name of her best friend/mother pretend it means nothing
giant spider costume. thats all I'm saying.
...sheesh! You're 23 and she's 32????
Erm, yeah. I'd give it a miss that one. Maybe good for the temporary interest/experience value for a bit, but sheesh, you've got the whole of your 20's ahead of you and loads of yummy girlies in their 20's to... erm, yes... well..
1) Don't ever let a relationship stress you out, or get you down
2) Don't ever let your partner play stupid emotional games with you or ever try to control you
3) Don't ever date someone who reads The Sun
If any of the above apply - a quick "Sorry, I don't think this is going anywhere" will do. Then don't ever speak to, or contact her again. Life's harsh sometimes, but it's generally easier for everyone involved that way.
You'll find someone you really love and get along with soon enough 🙂
If you dont love her but care for her. Let her go now, that is if you care about her. Shes entering those years where conceiving will be harder plus she will have to find the right person first before she can start trying. Let her go I say.
Or.....stay. When you are 30 you could have MILF sex.
Just to add (personally)- I ended it with my an ex. Hardest thing I ever did. An absolutely stunning girl, just not working from my side.
Cripes, this site is an education! The male psychie amazes me!
Good words tho' Hora
good words though Hora...
[i]Or.....stay. When you are 30 you could have MILF sex.[/i]
Really ?
must be joking surely...
I've heard from various sources Hora is actually an ok bloke in the flesh.
nice walk in the deep woods, to that spot where you left the spade and quicklime, sorted
Sounds like she is missing what her ex porn star boyfriend has to offer, so perhaps your not satisfying her in the bedroom department, she is lying if she says size does not matter. I reckon you should get out now before you become totally screwed up, besides if she come away to your parents for the weekend she may prefer your dad.
Just tell her straight. Say you're very sorry, but it isn't what you want, and rather than waste her time and yours, you are ending it. Sit tight through the ensuing storm. It is the best way in the long run.
Is she violent? Maybe wear a stab vest...
Ah, I retract my comments, Hora. I thought you'd recovered but further medication is required.
😆
MrNutt: easily the funniest post I've read all week!
You're a great girl, beautiful, fun and intelligent, i however just can't see this relationship going anywhere and it's for the best we don't do this anymore.
I'd still love to remain friends if at all possible but i love you too much to hurt you anymore than i am now and must end it.
If you go to Swinley this sunday there's alot of single men there gaggig for it, all the best, i'll see you there. x
Just show her this thread 🙂
IF you love her? that means you stay together and work it out.
Get together and discuss your relationship.
Sometimes it's all sailing and sometimes it can windy, stormy and dead calm.
It's hard work and sometimes not.
Work it out together-listen andthen tell her why you're upset.
Don't jack it in because of just one thing.
Write out your values too. See if they match.
Good luck spoony.
You need to analize her good and proper and let us know the results, then, an only then can we tell you if she's a keeper.