Driver’s side rear lamp from a 2003 Peugeot Boxer minibus.
A bloke sat slumped in his car. I think he had a leak because a kind lady was trying to blow him back up.
He was very friendly and waved at us when we rode past.
A pair of ladies shoes screwed to a tree stump on a horrible muddy sludgy trail about 3 km from the nearest solid ground.
Came across this in the middle of the woods about a mile from any road 
On my adventures in the woods behind Nationwide:
Didn't quite see a tarantula being attacked by a hawk wasp. Saw the spider move as I went by but it was right by the edge of the trail in the shade & didn't see what else was going on (the spiders are pretty common so I didn't stop)
Met a guy a bit further up who'd sat & watched the wasp dragging it across the open trail - "ossum sight, dood" and I suspect he was right
... and I once bunnyhopped a rattlesnake (that I thought was just a stick 'til it moved)
Oh, and once I found a jeep on a dirt road with a tyre blown off its rim, containing 4 young ladies in bikini tops & shorts. They didn't know how to change a wheel. Boy, were they glad to see me ! (err, no, not that glad)
Relatively common in the local woods to see nuns riding bikes.
Doggers / BJs / filming lewd acts also fairly regular.
Weirdest though was a group ride a few years ago. We all rode out of some singletrack onto a fire road to be greeted by the sight of a naked guy riding a proper old school MTB. He turned round and rode in the opposite direction. A little later we had stopped for a chat and saw the same rider in the distance. He stopped and this time got dressed before he silently rode past us again. His chosen outfit to protect his modesty? Cut-off denim daisy dukes and a skimpy pink crop top...
As a kid, was exploring some new singletrack I'd spotted and found it led to a fairly large scale amount of gorilla gardening.
More recently found my way blocked by a small band of people doing some kind of medieval battle re-enactment.
I once saw a larger lady squatting down having a piss under a bridge on the canal. It took me quite by surprise and thinking I should say something to make her feel better and let her know I wasn't a perv I shouted "WAHEYY" and rode off.
I've ridden through Cannock shit loads at night and never happened upon any aliens, werewolfs, black eyed girls or doggers. Shame really.
as mentioned further up the thread - the road of teeth. Its not a whole road of teeth mind you - they were only used to fill the potholes
http://dairyofanineptmountainbiker.blogspot.co.uk/2010/05/my-eyes-my-eyes-rinse-them-in-bleach.html
Last paragraph.
also...
A Ford sierra in a pretty remote place on the Blackdown hills while out night riding, must have been stolen and dumped and looked like it had been there a few years but whoever got it there had some good offroad driving skills.
And a couple up on the Quantocks in the Triscombe dh area.
1st was a hippie looking guy sat on the floor cross legged reading a book next to a jump on one of the dh runs. He didn't even flinch from his book as I sailed past inches from his head!
2nd was late one evening just as it was starting to get dark, I was riding up the fireroad and an oldish guy dressed all in black was coming out of the trees with a spade in his hand.
At first I thought he must have been just digging some trails but he just looked really out of place and there was definatly something not right about him. He looked like the sort of person who had just buried somebody!!
Nothing dodgy, (un?)fortunately. On a group ride through the FOD many years ago we were all flying down a bit of singletrack that was quite narrow and little overgrown, and just before it popped out onto a forest road there was a lady just off the side of the track, squatting, troos round her ankles. She must've been looking for a nice private spot to have a quick wee and spotted what looked like a little-used track... next minute there's a dozen blokes whizzing past about 3 feet away 🙂
Cycling home from work through the woods with a dimming light, rode over something. Stopped to see what it was - an anti-personel mine! Presumably a dummy and part of some night time army exercise, gave me a momentary shock though. ☠️
At 10am one bright and warm Saturday morning, I came belting round a bridleway path corner to be greeted by the sight of a ned squatting by the path, grey traccies round his ankles. To his credit, he greeted me with a cheery "morning!" but he was apparently oblivious to the public convenience a hundred yards away.
I found a Mepps No2 fishing lure and 12" wire trace on the fells where I live, at least 3 miles in any direction from any water.
On another occasion, a 27"x1&1/4" inner tube, a red plastic belt, a sock and a pair of glasses on a very rarely used footpath.
A portable tv, lodged in the branches of a tree.
A wallet stuffed with money in a crack on a wall, the thing is, I'd noticed this for month or more, when out on my bike and I thought it was a piece of wood.
The best one, was, one night, I was shooting rabbits on a night and heard some yodelling (No, it wasn't someone making a delivery), but, guy in a Baby Doll nightdress dancing and prancing. As I crept closer and very quietly, I noticed who it was, I've never said a thing to him, but if he ever upsets me, I will be saying something!!!
metal band in full corpse paint filming for a musicvideo
I felt sorry for the dude who had to haul the drumkit all the way into the woods
Part of the Berlin Wall, in woods just outside Newbury.
An army backpack, obviously left by a squaddie hoping to cheat some run/march.
skeleton in a burnt out car on a hill just outside cambridge, was a bit like lukes aunt & uncle in star wars ;-(
on a night ride, a guy drinking a can of cider while another guy gave him a bj, a 3rd guy was holding his can for him
they scrabbled to stand up and gave me a cheery hello as I passed
ohh, Stewart- where abouts?
For me, old WW2 airbase completed with abandoned military, civi cars and other military paraphernalia. Also a few air raid shelters and amo stores with old pots, pans and beds. Don't want to start digging around in the area though. Completely open with no fences or signs. This is all in the woods and very overgrown.
Other things include an old farm shutdown in the foot-and-mouth crisis. Everything unlocked and open. Office is just abandoned with paperwork everywhere. Still some feed in the silos. Animals where burnt and buried round the back. Really dark place. All overgrown and wel hidden in the woods.
A man waving his "angry" penis at me.
A lady having her photo taken whilst doing naked yoga.
Evidence of devil worshippery , pentangles,feathers and wot-not.
Once whilst being 'reinflated' by a kindly woman, I saw a load of grown men on pushbikes covered in mud 😯
old WW2 airbase
Now that sounds interesting, whereabouts is it????
The Rubber Johnny Tree just outside Andover is a landmark on one of my road loops. I'm assuming this is like scent marking or something.
First time I noticed it I was more concerned about the littering of foil packets on the road side. Then I looked up a bit.
Eurgh.
old WW2 airbase
Now that sounds interesting, whereabouts is it????
It was called RAF Hampstead Norris.
Some info on WIKI and some photos from an explorer. There's more there than those photos. He's missed all the vehicles and other buildings. If you ride through the woods, you'll notice that the paths/trails are all muddy but very squishy year rounds, that's because they are actually all roads. You can scoop about 6+inches of organic rotting matter to reveal the concrete. You could spend days up there.
I've been out solo night riding and ridden past circles of a dozen or so Druids a few times as I've climbed up into Mine Woods at the Back of Bridge of Allan. Always try to give them a cheery 'Hello Pagans' as I pass. A few years ago, in the same area, a bunch of us dropped down a wee chute into a scene from a medieval battle. Seriously, two guys in full armour, beating each other up with swords. Apparently they were filming a scene for a movie.....yeah right. Last summer a couple of mates were with me when we rounded a corner right into the middle of a 'glamour' shoot. The photographer panicked and tried to throw the very nice young lady her robe, but she didn't seem to fazed. She just laughed and waved as we went past. Thing is we were on the road at the time, in the middle of the afternoon. We'd just ridden along the Skiddaw House to Mosedale bridleway and were starting the road descent down to the cake shop when we nearly ran the photographer over!
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At first I thought he must have been just digging some trails but he just looked really out of place and there was definatly something not right about him. He looked like the sort of person who had just buried somebody!!
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One time up at Bonaly I found 2 policemen, looking suspiciously at a grave-shaped hole. Borrow pit for a jump someone had built, I explained. So they stopped looking suspiciously at the grave-shaped hole and started looking suspiciously at me
In the woods at the back of Bath university, a full scale battle of orcs, elves, wizards ect. I nearly fell off the bike laughing when one guy shouted "get these spells off me so I can fight"
Still, no odder than riding down the muddy hill on a bicycle!
blimey cokie - that's good. Where's the vehicles and amo stores?
I've got to take the FiL for a walk on saturday; i was just going to the taproom at west berks, have a quick 30 sec pootle then a couple of pints. But the old base sounds better - he'd enjoy that
I'm often cycling up Thorn Hill or between Ashamptead and Yattendon. Just try and avoid the main road I guess.
RAF Hampstead Norris.
Thanks Cokie, looks like an interesting place to visit
Petec, I'm local too!
Best access is to park on Water Street (red cross) and then take Scotals Lane- you'll pop out the end into a field. Straight over the field and up the hill (could be a little steep forFiL?). It's flat once you're at the top. From there it's wooded section pictured. It's a case of walking up the footpaths and then walking off when you spot something. Not much growth this time of year so should spot the buildings and cars. I've never correlated my findings with a map as it can be quite disorientating. Some of the cars are about 20ft into the woods on the West tree line (top pic shows how close the cars are to the field).
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This map is also good
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Anyway, back to condom trees..
excellent - cheers Cokie. Does sound slightly more exciting then strolling through the Pang Valley pointing out royal residents (and Tarrant) again
FiL should be able to cope (he's the man who once invited me for a walk to the pub. Twenty miles later we finally got there).
i think that's the walk sorted!
Petec, yeah- best time of year to go and explore.
If you want a pub- The White Hart is in the village.
Other option is to actually start at the The Bell Inn (proper old pub- I'm sure you've been) and walk to/from there.
There's a few footpaths across the fields that take you almost in a straight line to the woods. No hills and not therefore not the best views.
Oh I've been to the Bell so many times. We often cycle up from Streatley on a Friday night, have a few too many, then cycle back down the ridgeway at whatever time they've kicked us out. Crashed slightly too many times.
Never tried the White Hart; always used to go to the Pot Kiln when over that way, but now the Taproom is there, with all 15 Westberks/Renegade beers on tap, we spend too much time in there. Even the kids'll do a 40km round trip cycle for it
This after passing a ‘ dummy tree’ just prior . why ?
What is a dummy tree?
5 piece drumkit - the aforementioned metal band of corpses must have abandoned it after their music video.
It's a good mile from the nearest road through some woods that are ankle deep in mud for the most part of the year, including a hill that's hard enough to walk up it's so slippy - someone really wanted a drumkit up there.
[i]blitz wrote:[/i]
Came across this in the middle of the woods about a mile from any road
Amazing to find such a nice bike just lying around.
If you closely nearby you'll find the Great Elf Tree.
In the first year I arrived here I found some nice twisty trails in the forest running through the middle of the city. Then one day in the summer I was riding along said trails and found out how these trails had come about. I came round one of the corners to find one man humping another against a tree with an audience of about six other men watching on all with their gentleman bits out playing with them. I was so shocked that all I could think to say was 'Guten Tag!' as I rode through the middle of them all. I found out the hard way (fnarr) that the woods were popular for cottaging.
The roof from somebodies House, it was about 200m from the place it should have been
A rider hanging from a tree by his back pack!!
Was at Fort William and just going over hip replacement, I could hear shouts of 'help', pulled up and a rider had gone over the big LH berm into trees and got hung up, even he was laughing when I got there to help him 😀
riding past the DHSS office I did see a ' member of staff' ,treating himself with Urtification. No doubt for his rheumatism
A pair of ladies shoes screwed to a tree stump on a horrible muddy sludgy trail about 3 km from the nearest solid ground.
Sounds like Weavern Lane near Ford, North Wilts! There’s been a pair of women’s shoes nailed to a stump for years, I first noticed them out walking along there with friends back in the 80’s.
I posted this last time we had one of these threads.... still to find anything more interesting.
We've had quite a few burnt out cars in the last few weeks but meh
