[Closed] Footballers allergic to grass

I'm allergic to grass. And trees. And cats. And Horses.

Are you a professional footballer?

(Although I can understand you being allergic to cats, sneaky bastards)

I have exactly the same as freddyg and I am not a footballer 🙂

so can anyone explain why only footballers get it?

As I understand it, some allergies can be caused by things getting into the body where they shouldn't be, causing an immune response.

So if you were constantly sliding along grass, and grass bits were getting into your blood through grazes/cuts, I can imagine how that would trigger something.

I can't lie on my bare back on mown grass without it itching unpleasantly. I have to put a tshirt down or something.

What an odd thing to find amusing.

so can anyone explain why only footballers get it?

Because they're all shandy-drinking poncey fairies? Maybe.

given that footballers emerge to ethereal stardom from the general population, why is it surprising, and for that matter amusing?

Because they're all shandy-drinking poncey fairies? Maybe.

I [i]suspect[/i] you're closer to that definition than most footballers

Are you a professional footballer?

<looks at bank balance> 🙁 Oh. No, it appears I am not a professional footballer.

Because they're all shandy-drinking poncey fairies? Maybe.

You may have got me there. 😳

Ole Gunnar Solskjær was too.

Well it's certainly amusing because it falls both under the 'irony' and 'Schadenfreude' banners. It's also seemed quite amusing because on my initial review, it only appeared to happen to a subgroup of people who I don't particularly care for.

Why is it surprising? Grass is very, very common. You find it just about everywhere. It's also virtually inert. It's as active as toenails.

What is ironic about it?

It's also virtually inert. It's as active as toenails

How d'you work that out?

Cows think it's pretty significant..?

Isn't that long jumper, Jade Johnson I think, allergic to sand?

How I guffawed when I heard that. Oh, wait, no I didn't.

Well it's certainly amusing because it falls both under the 'irony' and 'Schadenfreude' banners.

But you suggested that it wasn't true, when you asked "who makes these stories up?"

Did you think it was another case of Health and Safety/human rights/political correctness gone mad ?

Do you read Richard Littlejohn in the Daily Mail ?

My lad suffers a massive allergy to grass and pollen. He had a test done and it virtually went off the scale. His life is hell in summer.

Tell you what MrSparkle - I nearly pissed myself at that - it made my day to find out your lad's life is a misery because of a grass allergy.

(Obviously I don't mean that, just in case you were about to come round and stove my face in).

Blimey, that's a lot of questions to answer.
What's ironic about a professional footballer being allergic to grass? Are you really asking that question?

Cows have to eat huge amounts of it and process it many times to get any nutrients out of it, because it's virtually inert.

No she's not. Sand, like grass, is virtually inert, she's allergic to a substance that exists on the sand. These footballers are not saying they're allergic to grass pollen, they're claiming to be allergic to grass.

I don't even know what question ernie is asking.

Is he allergic to grass, Mrsparkle or grass pollen, just like I am, just like my son is too?

Well I was asking why your initial reaction was "who makes these stories up?"

But don't worry, there's no need to answer that if you don't want to.

I can't see how the soup of complex organic chemicals in grass can be 'inert' to be honest, if you are talking about potential chemical interactions.

No she's not. Sand, like grass, is virtually inert, she's allergic to a substance that exists on the sand. These footballers are not saying they're allergic to grass pollen, they're claiming to be allergic to grass.

Well she is quoted all over as saying she is allergic to sand. So she is claiming to be allergic to sand.
Whether or not she actually is allergic to sand or something on the sand I neither care or find amusing.

I play football, and I seem to have an allergy to grass. I've had nasty, itchy rashes where my skin has come into contact with grass. I also suffer from hayfever, so without medication, I can't enjoy doing something I love.

Somehow, I don't find that particularly hilarious, although I'm sure someone else might. Not sure why though.

Imagine it's someone else with another profession, say a decorator who's allergic to the kind of paint they use or something. Is it so funny then?

Or does the humour only work if it's[i] a subgroup of people who you don't particularly care for[/i]?

Yes - I think footballers deserve it because they earn more money than he does or something.

Still - I would happily have a grass allergy and earn the money a top footballer does - it would be fun rolling in my money and laughing at the poor people like Samuri.

it would be fun rolling in my money and laughing it the poor people like Samuri.

Is being rich a prerequisite for laughing at samurai?

can't they just smoke hash ?

You do know that people are allergic to water and sunlight, don't you?

Stop giving him people to laugh and point at.

Tell you what MrSparkle - I nearly pissed myself at that - it made my day to find out your lad's life is a misery because of a grass allergy.

(Obviously I don't mean that, just in case you were about to come round and stove my face in).

[i]it would be fun rolling in my money and laughing at the poor people like Samuri. [/i]

Well I just hope you're not allergic to money. Of course you wouldn't be. That's a silly idea.

Lots of people earn more money than me, not all of them are worthy of my derision but I'm quite happy to poke fun at those who get rich out of overcharging poor people. Especially poke-worthy characters like footballers.

[i]But don't worry, there's no need to answer that if you don't want to. [/i]

Thanks Ernie, it's appreciated.

Especially poke-worthy characters like footballers.

and elfinsafety

I doubt he earns more than me. Can I still poke fun at him?

Give it yer best shot, Samuri... 😉

In Italy they paint the pitches green cos they are so scruffy looking, and some players are allergic to that.

allergic to grass, cats, certain types of pollen and mrsconsequence.

I suspect you're closer to that definition than most footballers

Yep, although I only drink shandy if I'm driving 😉 Was partially tongue in cheek, although it does take the piss when you see them rolling around in "agony" after falling over - compare that to some of the huge crashes at Red Bull Rampage, for example, where everyone walked away waving rather than making a meal out of it.

Ohh perleeeese!

Still allergic?
[img] [/img]

Is she dead?

Pah, when called up, Samuri failed to live up to his threat. Wuss.

She could be dead, Winegums, she could be. She looks...

I find it funny that someone paid 30 million to then find out he was allergic to grass

Could be that he's allergic to the fertiliser used in the Kiev stadium, or a particular pollen or something like that actually.

Would you appreciate it if all your colleagues at work laughed if your face swelled up due to an allergy to something in your workplace?

I think you have missed my point elfin, I find it funny that a corporation has spent 30 mil on someone who is allergic to a substance that he has to come into contact with.not the fact the guy could lose income

I don't think you really have a point to miss in the first place really.

Bloke's got an allergy to something, which caused him some discomfort and prevented him from doing his job/something he loves doing. The money paid by Man City for his services have bugger all to do with owt. First time this seems to have cropped up, as far as I can see.

I wonder if the reaction by some off here would be the same if it were someone like Steve Peat allergic to something in the environment he works in...

whatever. go troll some one else.