A few years ago I use to have a biscuit tin on my desk. One day someone had had the last biscuit. I asked in a loud (annoyed) voice, "did anyone know who'd been stealing my biscuits?"
It never happened again.
grum, you're probably lucky in that case. The scenario cougar has described is pretty common for most places where not everyone knows each other in the office.
Some people take advantage of this and steal stuff.
Ah ok - yeah I do work in a small office where we all know each other and get on.
Hi Cougar,
I work at the same place as you and once I put two and two together and realised who you were from STW, I thought I would victimise you by stealing your food stuffs! 😉
Your butter was ace and your chilli sauce really perked my lunch up!
Cheers!
P.S. It was the beard, SS 29'er, Orange 5, Audi driving and trail centre mincing which gave it away...
Only two of those things are true.
Well I don't know where you work for one 😀
TBH it would annoy me as well. It's either open sharing or bring your own - the middle ground of someone stealing my stuff just pisses me off!
Only two of those things are true.
Ooh! I shall choose....
The beard.
The single speed.
Close?
Immagonna go the beard and trail centre mincing.
What you want to do is put vegan stuff in a fridge as no one wants to eat that shit not even the vegan
HTH
deadlydarcy - Member
Immagonna go the beard and trail centre mincing
Winner (IIRC).
What you want to do is put vegan stuff in a fridge as no one wants to eat that shit not even the vegan
HTH
😀
Someone at work was helping themselves to the Beroccas on my desk. Once I had noticed, they were also helping themselves to some of my oestrogen, too...
Rachel
they were also helping themselves to some of my oestrogen, too...
😯 in the form of...?
Winner (IIRC).
Yup.
Emsz is on the right track..
You need to play the gruff but amiable hard man here or just get used to people taking your stuff..
No nonsense, firm but fair approach with a hefty smattering of unrefined language and some self deprecating dark humour should see you right..
Although I would have thought that the opportunity of giving the new CEO a dressing down would make it a much easier and more attractive proposition, but there's no accounting for taste I suppose..
Perhaps the battle is already lost before it's begun..? 😕
Take a machete in to work and kill them all. Kill until a police armed response team send you to Valhalla in a leaden hail of glory.........
Put in an expenses claim? Seeing as the whole company benefits? Or just smear every condiment you have over each and every desk? Whilst screaming obviously. And in a state of undress. Ain't no one gonna nick yo sauce then!
Can you label it "The Moderator's Food". Tbh, that would scare the bejeesus out of me. 😐
A few years ago there was an inveterate food thief in my office of ~50 people. In order to try and identify the culprit a web cam was installed. This didn't identify the thief but it do show that one of the more attractive ladies had a tendency to dance around the office in knickers and bra when working late.
Can you label it "The Moderator's Food". Tbh, that would scare the bejeesus out of me.
Apparently they call him 'The Murderator' at work.
A few years ago there was an inveterate food thief in my office
To be fair, if they haven't got a spine then being caught for petty theft is the least of their problems.
My solution would definitely involve semen, whose I'm not entirely sure though.
If he leaves his own cakes lying around, you could wee in his choux.
Bravo.
Perhaps you could go in furiously waving your banhammer around?
Add a few drops of green food dye into softened butter & mix in. Doesn't affect the flavour in any way, just looks rank. Worked for me in the past...now I just use someone else's. 😉
If he leaves his own cakes lying around, you could wee in his choux.
Get. Out. (-:
Perfect.
This has the makings (crusty bread, butter, nice sharp mature Cheddar) of a classic STW thread, I've been giggling all the way through.
We have a nice big fridge upstairs in our nice new s****y kitchen/snack area, and it's always full of very appetising looking comestibles, which never seem to get molested. I think it's got a lot to do with the fact that around 80% of the staff there are female, whereas the fridge downstairs, where all the staff are male, usually just has bottles of milk in.
Milk, tea and coffee are supplied by the firm, so there's never an issue there.
Cougar, you could always try the green food colouring in your milk, then put a bit of tape on it, with 'milk experiment' written on.
The murderously hot chilli sauce added to your own might act as a disincentive, too, or get some Ghost chillis and chop them up finely and stick them in the bottle...
Apparently they call him 'The Murderator' at work.
Oh, I'm having that.
green food colouring
The problem there is that we also have a self-appointed kitchen fairy who's likely to throw it out without asking and then send passive-aggressive emails to the entire building warning about leaving food to go off.
Thinking about it, maybe I should just tell her what happened, then retire once the blue touch paper is lit.
I N R A T S but this gets my vote for gayest OP ever.
The problem there is that we also have a self-appointed kitchen fairy who's likely to throw it out without asking and then send passive-aggressive emails to the entire building warning about leaving food to go off.Thinking about it, maybe I should just tell her what happened, then retire once the blue touch paper is lit.
That's right, go running to the mods...
[i]Oh, I'm having that.[/i]
The Murderator looking for clues;
[img] 
[/img]
good god, where do you live man? Have you never heard of squeezy bottles?Communal ketchup?
Then I'd end up with ketchup bottles with more sauce on the outside of the bottle than in it, and lumps of food round the rim where they've stuffed it into their bacon (why do people do that?!). Bunch of savages in this town.
try all of the above and let us know what works best. Personally I'd try your stuff in happy shopper packaging, laxative spiked stuff in branded.
