[i]Go with it. Enjoy it for however long it lasts[/i]
Nah, there's plenty of fun to be had in the bedroom without dating perverts 🙂
I suspect she only wants to be a pervert, and isn't one really........
When she's decided she is, then we can have the next date 😆
we'll need a picture to properly assess & advise on how to proceed.
I deleted the ones she sent, you couldn't see her face.
rossendalelemming - MemberI deleted the ones she sent, you couldn't see her face.
Obscured by gimp mask?
I didn't think they wore the mask at that end, but then again that isn't my scene 🙂
I'm even funnier in real life
"no no nooooooooooo...." splat. That was funny.
I told you the gimp mask fashioned from old innertubes by a bearded artisan was a winner...
Thank you theoriginalpunkrockdad for your continued "support". Laughing your head off at my continued misfortune is considered support, isn't it 😛
[quote=dlr said]I'm so far out of the dating game I have no idea what the sub/dom thing means!
They're the new ant and dec.
I think they may be dom/sub?
I think that's Dick and Dom In Da Sex[s]dungeon[/s]bungalow
Typical pain threshold 0.34 on a log scale 0 to 10. Squeeeeemish, tick. Unlikely to like mess (even if placed where it can be tidily swallowed away, Alpin). Immediate response to real danger: total freak out. Sight of blood other than on a tampon: fainting.
No doubt there are exceptions that prove the rule but I suspect the lady in question would consider anything more than wearing handcuffs (fur-wrapped so they are comfortable) whilst giving you a foot massage tantamount to (quoting a previous post) "domestic abuse".
Role play is one thing, proper BDSM another. I think you need to talk in detail about what she means by dom/sub.
Do you find her attractive? If so, go out again and ask a little more about it.
Role play is one thing, proper BDSM another. I think you need to talk in detail about what she means by dom/sub.
And that there is the perception of Dom/Sub relationships. It's not about BDSM, although often Dom/Subs indulge, it's about power, and again, it's often misunderstood as the Dom being the one with all of the power. The Sub is the one in control, they have total power, because what happens between a Dom and a Sub is at the express permission of the Sub. If it isn't it's abuse.
OP, your lady friend may mean roleplay with toys, she may have a dungeon, or as 50 shades has been mentioned, she may be on the look out for a billionaire playboy. Who knows?
Online dating!
The worst type of women imaginable on those sites. I went in naively setting my sights low but sheeesh, those women online are the lowest of the low.
They literally just want one thing and some want it with multiple partners.
THERE IS A REASON THEY ARE ONLINE*
Honestly best bet for me is to join a book reading group full of lonely potentially hot fems who wear glasses and stockings and genuinely act naughty at the right kinda times but are not into infidelity.
* cause noone will put up with their slutty filthy ways.
THERE IS A REASON THEY ARE ONLINE** cause noone will put up with their slutty filthy ways.
I did find this to a certain degree too. It was great! 😀
If its not your scene then leave it but the worst that can happen is you have bit of fun and learn
IMHO - if she was sub * she would have said before dating she just wants a bit of "mucky fun".
* it means anything from order me about a bit, gently tie me up and pretend spank me, humiliate me, hit me so hard you draw blood whilst doing things that would earn me a ban by writing them down - i know i have conflated certain[BDSM and Sub] things there for simplicity.
The one getting the pain is the sub though they are different things as subs tend to like humiliation and the inexperienced really dont mean that.
In much the way I cycle tells you very little about my cycling.
If you are interested and get on ask her if not leaver her alone.
All you nice guys are jerks like everyone else, that's what women see through. Nice boys expect favours for being nice. Just get on with it, put a pair of mahoosive aviators on and pretend to yourself that you're liam gallagher.
Her opening line......
"I'm a Sub, looking for a Dom, and you're just vanilla"!
You can't tell by looking.
Scratch her back for half an hour (every woman's favourite sex act and as close as they really want to get to BDSM) - you get your sub without having to play some macho jerk dom like Liam (who has sung some of my favourite songs so is forgiven his car-crash lifestyle).
I'm frankly amazed that preciousmetals knows the character of every woman online and Edukator (ha!) knows the sexual preferences of EVERY woman! Amazing.
Either that or they're a pair of inexperienced dorks kidding themselves. Hard to say really.
And that there is the perception of Dom/Sub relationships. It's not about BDSM,
Remind me again what the "D" stands for? (-:
You're right in that it's a spectrum; there are people who like to get tied up or a bit spanky, and there's fully sub/dom relationships. I've a friend who is, or at least was, in a 24/7 sub/dom relationship. But unlike 50 Shades,
The Sub is the one in control, they have total power, because what happens between a Dom and a Sub is at the express permission of the Sub. If it isn't it's abuse.
... this is the key. Power is not taken by the Dom, it's given freely by the Sub. Which is where, I'm led to believe, 50 Shades got it so very very (dangerously) wrong.
I hope you haven't taken every other post on the thread to be 100% serious too DezB (though I note some have mysteriously disappeared).
How would you like your fellow STWers to deal with a thread on which they are one overly honest post away from a ban? I'd hope "humour" might be among the things you'd like to see? Or did you really not consider that describing back scratching as every woman's favourite sex act might be just a little bit tongue in cheek (even if it's true).
I'm outa here, enjoy the rest of the thread, but God forbid that anyone make light of the subject.
the dom does and does not have power that is the appeal
Obviously without their consent nothing happens - which is true for all bedroom activities.
I agree the sub tends to have the power and the dom is just pretending they have but without both there doing things you dont have anything. If the dom wont ,for example, slap someones face really hard then who is in control then ? Like all sex its a bit of both.
I find it shocking that the majority posting on this thread know a lot of detail/info on doms/subs.
😯
you comeback should have been 'speak only when you are spoken to.'
Rob Hilton - MemberYou can't tell by looking.
She was right though 😆 (tbh, you often [i]can[/i] tell by looking if someone has what you're after. Not from looks but from looking- body language, deportment, eye contact etc. The 50 Shades thing is pretty offputting but she sounds like she had a clear idea in her mind of what the guy she wanted to meet would be like.)
Northwind - It's because I minced from the bar to the table isn't it? 😆
rossendalelemming - MemberNorthwind - It's because I minced from the bar to the table isn't it?
I think it's the way you kissed her feet tbh. A handshake's more the thing.
I think it's because I turned her down when she asked for help with the washing. Well she mentioned "Pegging".
I find it shocking that the majority posting on this thread know a lot of detail/info on doms/subs.
I have a number of interesting friends.
Of course you do 😛
Cougar - ModeratorI have a number of interesting [s]friends[/s] internet bookmarks
The 50 Shades thing is pretty offputting
It seems to have enabled some women to allow them to explore 'that' side of themselves.
Dude, you've got it easy, I've had this chick stalking me for a couple of years on and off.
She's a right bloody menace, with a dodgy sadistic streak.
Oops, didn't mean to upset Edukator. Seems he doesn't get my humour either. 😆
OP and his new girlfried
Start this very same thread on Mumsnet then report back in a couple of days.
The username "choppersquad" is taken on Mumsnet, who's should I use 😈
Whitingdale.
indeed...
and [b]preciousmorals[/b] (see what I did there ? 😉 ) Not every woman on line is mad - my life partner was there, as was I. And knowing a bit about how other people get off doesn't mean one is weird or signed up oneself. It takes a bit of a narrow mind not to be interested in how other people tick and get their kicks. Even if it causes s****s in the STW fourth-formers. 😉
Stoatsbrother- hence I stuck around for a couple of hours and got to find out about her.
If that is not an invitation to play i dont what is!! Turn up the tempo, push your luck, tell her to do stuff and see what happens...i wouldn't be surprised you end up 'closing the deal'. Use your imagination! She's clearly game!
I miss all that chasing! keep us posted! I'm a bit vicarious like that now i'm spoken for!
Get after it lad. 🙂
A roadie neighbour of mine, long-since divorced, got involved with a woman he met through Fitness Singles. She moved up from Hampshire to be with him and turned out to be a ferociously fit triathlete who wore even him out and he's fit; a former British hillclimb runner-up. She trains for Ironman by swimming up and down the beach at Blackpool with him paddling along behind in a rubber dinghy. She lives on raw carrots and her hair is a mass of unwashed dreadlocks. Her bike is in a terrible state and her car looks as if a family of pigs has lived in it for a long time. The relationship lasted about six months before she wore the poor bloke out and went off and rented a flat nearby. She's still around but I don't think she's found anybody fanatical enough yet.