[Closed] Fat-ism - how many of you are? Be honest.

I'm one of the people you mock and hate

You sound like a very nice person.

that's your sister dude

I feel bad.

You don't have to like the way other people look, and you don't need to buy into the self-deluding "but I don't eat a thing" stuff, but I think you owe it to them to be courteous and respectful and not fat-shame them.

I feel bad.

Have a donut

obvious[img] [/img]

if not then

Or just grow the F- up, none of our business and stop being so prejudiced.

this.

I was in Costa when we caught up and quickly popped into a mobile phone shop and was embarrassed to have her by my side.
Although she is wealthy, she's dressed badly and fat.

You sound like such a lovely person.

everyone deserves to be treated with courtesy and respect, really.

Pretty much covers it.

I feel bad.

But at least you look good, unlike those chubby types 🙂

Maybe losing 52Kg makes you like the fattie version of an ex smoker, that is quite a lot to lose. I weigh about 70Kg and no one wants to carry me around!

I admire your honesty but man that's pretty harsh!

My best mate and my brother have got a bit fat. (Both due to illness, to be honest). Man, they're lovely guys to hug now! 😀

Sister of Frankenstein needs a hug!

This thread will deliver. Well done OP.

*puts hand up*

Don't drink, don't smoke, don't philander, work hard and look after my kids.

A man's got to have one vice and mine's bad bad, greasy sugary food.

If it wasn't for bikes I'd be the size of a bungalow by now.

Also....

Given the long term health issues associated with obesity you have a right to be concerned about your sisters weight. Of course trying to give advice is never easy. She may be happy with her weight and not appreciate your advice. OTOH say nothing and there's the risk she might come at you in a few years and ask why you just stood back and let her get on with it.

She's gained a lot of fat. Probably 30kg overweight.

I read that as overnight and was having a WTF moment!

30kg overweight? And you lost 52kg..... Sheet.

About 3/4 of the women on my mother's side of the family are overweight. They insist that their type 2 diabetes is hereditary and not brought on by their inactive, gluttonous, car dependent lifestyles.

It makes me cringe.

But there are so many fatties on the island.
Not saying there are no fatties in Germany, but the ones you see are more noticeable as they are the exception.
Although rarely see a fat Italian or Spaniard.

Apparently one of the fattist sentiments is because people subconciously associated fat people with carrying disease.

Also being fat has an implication of possible sloth.

I saw a documentary on liposuction years ago and that showed the fat being sucked out of a womens backside, and that has definitely helped make me a bit fattist.

A friend is a GP who reckons that the percentage of people that are fat because of medical conditions is pretty small and most people use it as an excuse.

The percentage of fat people with medical conditions brought on by their fattness is higher though, and in that instance it is self-induced.

I like eating but I put a brake on it and lose some weight when I need to.

So overall I am fattist but, like every other possible prejudice I might have, will take an individual at face value.

why make this her problem?

It's the OPs problem s/he lost 52kg weight so do the right thing, get back on the greggs and crisps, get the new "badly dressed" styles and then you'll both look the same again. Not sure how to even up on the wealth though - maybe ask her for a loan?

Interesting topic.

Personally, I'm a laissez faire kind of guy when it comes to other people and what they do. None of my business.
To be fair most people are overweight. 'Normal' weight people seem slim.

I don't find overweight people attractive, so it would put me off in that sense.

But Scotroutes is right - being overweight is bad for your health. So if it's someone you care about (i.e. sister) then try to be constructive. They know they're overweight, you don't need to tell them, but suggest going out for a bike ride sometimes?
Or for the OP, if you did well to lose all that weight then talk to your sister about how you did it?

scotroutes

OTOH say nothing and there's the risk she might come at you in a few years and ask why you just stood back and let her get on with it.

+1. She might be nearing a tipping point which can creep up on women (particularly shorter women) rather quickly. Up to a certain weight they are mobile enough that they can do something about it but past it they are stuck for life.

This happened with a close relation of mine condemning her husband and children to a life as her carer. Watched a similar thing happen with my brother in laws fiancee too.

So, what phone did you buy?

iPhone 7 plus 256gb (replacing the dodgy one from last week).

I think looking deeply, it's not fat people, it's my mind and the person I hated looking back me when obese and depressed. It's horrible and the last thing they need is to be treated badly.

I would be the first to step up to defend anyone if they were a victim, if someone hurled prejudice abuse at them - but that's no different to saying I'm not racist but...

Think I'm just shocked by the way I acted/felt/prejudiced.

I'll change my mindset but I don't hate. Had to get it off my chest.

alpin - Member
30kg overweight? And you lost 52kg..... Sheet.

I was stressed, working 6.5 days a week, 8am-2300, no riding, fat and full of excuses.

I stopped blaming anyone but myself, chose to eat less, healthy, be active and ride 150 miles hard. It was the hardest mental thing I've done.

I feel ashamed and will not be embarrassed again or think that way. I was just surprised I acted like that.

Frankenstein, you sound like a ****er...imho

I have been at both ends of the scale 6ft 4'' at 16 stone, and at 23 stone. I am happy when heavier.

currently 20 stone

I am [s]fattist[/s] fattest.

Its one of those people are free to overeat , smoke, get drunk as they see fit

Overweight is not a look I like[ in the I would want to get jiggy with you way] but it does not make me dislike a person.

Ton - it's not fat people.

It's me.

It's how I used see myself and reminds me of how I used to be and how I hated myself when I'm not really embarrassed or have anything against fat people.

I'm not defending myself, I need to and will change my thinking.

I'm ashamed how I acted, that's all.

52kg is over eight stone! 😯

How the hell do you put on that much weight to have to lose it anyway? Sounds like you have 'issues'!

edit: that was written before I saw the post above.

don't understand the ' hated myself when fat' stuff.

some people are very happy with being overweight, hell some can even ride bikes and stuff...... 😕

jebus Frankenstein aint you on the STW naughty step.

If it was my sister I'd have a word, you'll be doing both her and the NHS a favour (although the local takeaway might mourn the loss).

[quote=DezB]
Sister of Frankenstein needs a hug!

Maybe he cant get his arms around her!!!
🙂

I'm over-weight, I'm perfectly healthy, workout 3 times a week, ride, but I'm over weight.

I'm slightly torn on the subject, it is NOT cool to be prejudice to people who are over-weight, it seems to me the very sort of person who like to 'fat shame' people would have been picking on the Asian's and Black People 20 years ago, they're looking for a victim, they're cowards really - no one I don't know has ever said anything mean to me about my weight - I think because I'm Male, because I'm of 'fighting age' and I'm confident - they like to pick on the female, the old, the weak and the shy. I've seen it happen to someone who was, if anything less fat then me, just they looked like they'd cower and I won't.

Oh the other hand...

Sometimes the tolerance goes too far, there is no honour in being obese and unfit, it is as dangerous to your health as smoking and drinking too much, it will make you unhappy because of the things it does to your brain, you will die younger and in pain from ruined joints. If you are badly overweight (I'm not talking about a bit of a muffin top here, but difficultly walking upstairs fat) 'the world' should not be telling you you're doing okay. That's not tolerance, that's enabling. But it doesn't need some stick thin Gym pussy shouting at you in the supermarket.

'Fatties' seems like a unnecessarily offensive way to describe people imho. Just seems purposely derogatory, when you could use 'fat people' or 'overweight people'. Not that far away from using racist terminology rather than 'people from ****stan' etc, again imho. The argument about people not being able to decide where there were born, but being able to control their weight doesn't cut it. It's a pretty poor person that judges someone on their weight and appearance, rather than by their actions, behaviour and merits. Does being overweight (or in other ways not to your liking) completely negate all other attributes they may have?

Before you ask, my weight puts me in the 'normal' range :roll:.

OP do you have any fat (Male) friends, or would you feel it reflected badly on you to be associated with them? Seems like a deranged form of vanity to me. You are not at school anymore...it's okay not to only hang with the cool kids.

Rightly or wrongly, I do get quite judgemental when I see people who are so overweight that they struggle to do the simplest of things like walk or climb a flight of stairs, you see some people who can barely lower themselves into a car or get back out again....
While I don't think everyone should be base jumping/schplonking/mountain biking gods I find it hard to understand the mentality behind letting your body get to the state where you can barely move under your own steam.

My sis-in-law has always struggled with her weight. She's currently on a massive weight loss charge & fair play to her she's managed to lose 5stone up to now.
But, years of doing nothing - no exercise at all & being as slovenly as possible has left her body wrecked. She's got problems with her feet, ankles, knees & back all bought on by being massively overweight & under-toned; there is no muscle there to help her bones support her weight. And she's smoked for years while having quite bad asthma.
She always blames her situation on the NHS & the doctors not being able to 'sort it out' but I don't think there's a lot that can be done. She's basically wrecked her body over the last 20 years & now wants it sorting, but I think it's too far gone for that.

And that's the sort of person I struggle to find sympathy for, or understand.
But, I should probably be grateful that I have never got into the mental state that has allowed me to do the same.

Is it ok to be fattist when a big un is sitting next to/on you on a plane?

Ton V Frankenstein, that'd be a great fight!!

Hate the fat, not the person

embrace the fat, black, gay, ugly, loud, timid, shy, mad, thin, fit, slob, so on a so forth

who gives a monkey's knacker.

Lets be clear here, we are talking about proper big units, not 10-20% over weight.

Frankenstein - Member

Guy helping me at the shop,asked if she was my wife - no way!

Hopefully, if she was thin and hot, you'd have still thought the same because SHE'S YOUR SISTER.

Northwind

Frankenstein

Guy helping me at the shop,asked if she was my wife - no way!

Hopefully, if she was thin and hot, you'd have still thought the same because SHE'S YOUR SISTER.

[img] https://s.yimg.com/cd/diminuendo/1.0/original/72d337c34233b9e16e1417a12ba43caa20e3d12e.gi f" target="_blank">https://s.yimg.com/cd/diminuendo/1.0/original/72d337c34233b9e16e1417a12ba43caa20e3d12e.gi f"/> [/img]

embrace the fat, black, gay, ugly, loud, timid, shy, mad, thin, fit, slob, so on a so forth

who gives a monkey's knacker.

Because being fat will kill you?

Best. GIF. Ever.

just5minutes - Member
why make this her problem?

Because she ate all the pies?

SaxonRider - Member
Best. GIF. Ever.

I prefer this one 🙂

[img] [/img]

Although rarely see a fat Italian or Spaniard.

You've obviously never worked in a Spanish office, then. I'd say about 95% of the guys around my age (44) are overweight.

And that second gif is great!

I'm with Trump 😯

I just messaged her with a healthy idea that we have to avoid diabetes, metabolic syndrome and cancer that has been running in the family.

She messaged me her home gym - looks great but bloody use it then or sell it.

I'll be visiting to show her how to use it and not die in her 40's.

She's honest and tells me she hates exercise and loves food. It's her choice to change.

[img] [/img]

on the subject of people (often women) who are fat to the point of being self-destructive, I thought this article was quite thought-provoking and sympathetic

http://www.wsj.com/articles/SB10001424052702303768104577462562370062738

Because being fat will kill you?

wrong.

because being unhealthy will kill you.

I'm over-weight, I'm perfectly healthy, workout 3 times a week, ride, but I'm over weight.

There's a lot of evidence showing that carrying a stone or so more that is "ideal" is not in any way bad for your health generally

You can definitely be overweight and fit but 30Kg over and not doing any exercise?

True you can be overweight/fat and be healthy/happy/who cares what others think.

Some of us can't tolerate things, I know visceral fat in my family kills us with diabetes and high blood pressure.

Whilst others can be obese but have no problems with high sugar diets.

Not everyone who smokes will get cancer, just the majority.

My sister is sedentary, not working, eats junk and that's her choice! but the long terms effects can already be seen.

[url= http://www.nhs.uk/news/2015/12December/Pages/The-idea-you-can-be-fat-but-fit-is-a-myth-study-argues.aspx ]Overweight and Fit Myth[/url]

being fit is a lot more important than being the right weight, for your health.

Thin people that do no exercise can have a lot of fat round their internals, which is pretty bad for them and worse than belly fat.

However most fat people you see also do no exercise.

This is fine maybe in somewhere that doesn't have our healthcare system, but here if you are putting, or going to put, an extra strain on the health system because of your sloth then that is likely to be taking resources away from treating people with non-self-inflicted diseases.

It's the same sort of objection I feel towards people riding non-trivial stuff without helmets on, their choice and they obviously feel OK with costing everyone else when they have to help you after an accident with more injuries than were necessary.

[i]She's honest and tells me she hates exercise...[/i]

She probably just hates her home gym!

ton -
embrace the fat

I already said that 🙂

😆

Being overweight isn't for me. I like boobs a lot, but not when they are mine.

My sister is sedentary, not working, eats junk and that's her choice! but the long terms effects can already be seen.

Sounds like my sister!

We've talked to her, parents have talked to her, doctors have warned her, but she doesn't seem to GAF.

The thing that really annoys us is she has gone to great lengths to adopt 2 young children (now 6 and 3), but she's too fat to play with them or walk with them. And she'll probably be dead before they reach their teens.

As an aside interesting to see how much things have changed when you consider there was a character in the Beano, Bash St Kids, called 'Fatty' - where everyone including the teacher used to deride him for being fat & lazy.
[img] [/img]

I'm definitely fatist. I see it the same as smoking or drinking to excess, it's a self control issue that costs everyone as well as the person themselves in extra NHS costs.

I work with a chap who is thirty stone, he does no exercise and is mostly sedentary. He has enormous health problems, sleep apnea and so on. He goes to the doctor more than anyone I know without a serious or chronic illness. And he has no desire to change, which costs everyone money.

Now I'm part of the problem here too. I've gone up to 13.5 stone at 5'10" in the last year. I am less well than I used to be, can't ride as fast. My sister teases me about my gut. But at least I am aware that it's a problem and am prepared to do something about it.

the-muffin-man - Member

The thing that really annoys us is she has gone to great lengths to adopt 2 young children (now 6 and 3), but she's too fat to play with them or walk with them. And she'll probably be dead before they reach their teens.

Interesting that you say that, because our daughter being born last October seems to have been the catalyst for my sis-in-law to actually do something about her health problems.

She realised that if she didn't then looking after her niece, taking her away for weekends, even going for a walk in the park with her would be impossible.
And to her credit, she has worked massively hard to lose weight. And she's spurred her partner, Mum, Dad & daughter into doing the same (they are all significantly overweight).

As an aside interesting to see how much things have changed when you consider there was a character in the Beano, Bash St Kids, called 'Fatty' - where everyone including the teacher used to deride him for being fat & lazy.

OP..

You say she's wealthy, yes?

Married?

being a bit fat seems to have become the norm. 30-40yrs ago not many people were fat and most people were normal weight. Now it's the other way around. If you're normal weight you're the minority and called skinny.

[url= http://thescienceexplorer.com/brain-and-body/overweight-people-actually-tend-live-longer-normal-weight-individuals ]Overweight people live longer[/url]

But I must admit I am repulsed by overweight people, women more so than men.

But I must admit I am repulsed by overweight people

If you're normal weight you're the minority and called skinny.

Sorry bikebuoy, she's married to some CFO, who also has got fat.

My wife also became overweight but while the stomach stayed flat, she grew perfectly curved rear and toned hung chest like a playboy bunny centrefold and I had to fight off the wolves, it was great but her self esteem and health were affected. She has sadly lost weight but is healthier.

However my wife did actually say she found me hot when I was race fit and was completely turned off/sickened when I was obese and was overjoyed by me losing the lard.

Double standards. 😡

I still was attracted and loved my missus while she loved me but was in fear of being killed if I rolled over in my sleep and used a barge pole to keep me at arms length. She admitted she like slim guys and not fat or bodybuilder type physiques.

Self esteem aside, it is unhealthy and increases risk of metabolic syndrome diseases.

We should not judge others on how they look but we should look after our own health. It's a choice.

Have you tried to engage with her about her low hanging fruit, maybe you devise a mime to celebrate her size, you could perform it together.......

You cheeky boy!

I'm by no means a paragon of virtue, you just need to look at my gut/moobs to see that. However I do ride a good 60 miles a week and am running (staggering) the 5k home from the station imminently.

I guess I am fattist. If I see someone who is so large as to be unable to walk up some stairs and deems this to be acceptable it frankly pisses me off. Conversely I could see someone jabba the hutt size going for a walk/run/ride and I think fair play to them.

Interestingly my mother who is fairly sedentary because of an issue with her back and has increased in size whilst claiming to not eat much crap. Recent stroke she suffered will hopefully kick her into touch. It's interesting getting her to open up about it and trying to get her to help herself 🙁

I put on 1 pound (165lbs to 166lbs) and my Tanita body composition scale called me obese. 😯

I find fat people physically unattractive, some more than others and the general theme is the fatter the less attractive. But that said, I don't gauge a person's worth by how attractive I find them, in fact I think that would be one of the worst ways to gauge an individual. I have fat friends of both sexes and wouldn't think twice about being seen out with them or worry that someone would think they were my partner. I wouldn't offer an opinion on someone's size unless asked, as frankly is not my business unless asked.

I have separated from a partner who started the relationship slim and active. This soon slid into inactivity and growing porkdom. I found both the laziness and the excusing of this, unattractive and this impacted on our interpersonal relationship, and physically I found myself having to think about screwing other people to get through sex. This really wasn't healthy for either of us, so headed our separate ways.
I don't think you can fundamentally change your wiring, but if you fall in to mistaking attractiveness for worth, then you're in trouble.

I'm 6ft 110kg so a good 10kg over my fighting weight. I'm not a slightly built man never have been but I recognise that I need to drop a few kg and am doing so. Happily I'm very healthy otherwise having had a full mot recently.
My brother is 10 years older and morbidly obese my mother is dead from obesity and died at 63 he is heading the same way. I take it upon myself to try and get that through his head almost every time I see him. I do this because I love him and being that fat will kill him early the stupid bastard.

Fat people need telling

Costa!

Dear me have some respect.

There's a couple of overweight kids in my daughters swimming class. I try not to be a judgemental prick, but it's hard when you see them going straight to vending machine for 500ml bottle of coke and a chocolate bar. Parents need a ****in hard slap.

if you fall in to mistaking attractiveness for worth, then you're in trouble.

Spot on.

I'm honest.
Me. I acknowledge that I could drop a stone and still not be underweight . And its all belly.
I also can't stand it and can't stand the lack of will power that keeps it there. It looks bad. The human body isn't meant to carry that weight, its not the natural default so its wrong.
People who are overweight generally lack the will power or self respect to sort it out. Like me but often worse. I don't like that sort of person.
Not interested in objections based on the odd "genuine" excuse.
Way to many people out there are slobs who need to get of their arses and do some exercise and cut out eating the crap.
Its not good for them but I don't care about that but its not good for our health service. I also object to smokers, drug users and any other group that makes a huge impact on our NHS due to their own lack of self control.
Luckily I am allowed, nay encouraged, to think that way here as the STW vibe is to allow people their own little foibles.
And to the OP. If you can't be honest to your family then who can you be honest to?