On the slow train back from London to Derby opposite two young ladies trying to piece together a works night that has ended badly.
One twisted her ankle running for the train after getting a McDonald's and is worried she's written off a planned ski trip with a boyfriend who will be mad she's staying over with the other girl (her boss)
The boss is refilling the McDonald's bag with what she's eaten and drunk tonight.
They are both trying to locate a third lass who didn’t meet them at the station,but seems to have gone home with one of the lads....
Only another hour and three quarters of this soap opera till we get to Derby.
better than the telly 🙂
Sounds worse than snakes on a plane
Update - Boss now comatose leaning on the table
Phoebe is definitely with Alex and not staying with Michelle like she said she was in her text earlier. Apparently this is a "bad thing".
I'm not completely sure they know where Derby is, or why they are on a train to get there.
LittleMissMC (age 17) is sat next to me and contemplating her comparitively dull day out in London with her parents in a different light.
Thankfully it’s very rare I’m on a train, let alone a late night one, mainly because the last train out of Paddington isn’t late enough to catch after a gig in London.
Way past time public transportation woke up to the fact customers might want to go out somewhere for a show or something, which finishes fairly late in the evening, and want to get home without having to cough up for a hotel, thus dramatically increasing their costs!
Having spent a day in London, getting back to the station at somewhere around midnight and being able to just relax for an hour or two, instead of getting back to a car looking forward to a two or more hour drive in the early hours of the morning.
Although, there’s no risk of getting stuck with late-night pissed-up party goers…
Nightbus stories ... now there's an idea for a thread!
The Newcastle to Edingburgh train journey on an evening is entertaining. Especially if your a lone male on a carriage with a hen party. It’s pure accident that this happens to me of course. It’s always rude not to take part in their games, help finish their shots, assist them with various blowup items or of course allow them someone to left them cuddle.
Drunks on Trains was Simon Le Bon's first draft of the lyrics before Roger Taylor told him he had a better idea, to change it to something more exotic and if they played their cards right they could have a completely different video for the song. .
True story.
The last train I was on (London to Bristol) a drunk woman in the seat in front threw up on herself around Reading - as the train was packed it was either a case of sit and deal with the smell or move and stand in another carriage. I'm lazy so didn't move.
Drunks on Trains
That took me a moment but 😃
Yes.
A couple of years ago OH had been on a night out in Leeds with girlfriends and they all got the last train east a few miles to where they were staying. In the same carriage were a bunch of drunk lads on the way back to Teeside who kept hassleing them and generally being, well drunk lads. At some point one of the lads started chucking his shoe around which clobbered one of the lasses and then dissapeared which prompted some frantic searching by same drunk lad.
The lasses got off at their station and just as train started to move off OH pulled the shoe out of her bag and knocked on the lads window with it to get his attention and then lobbed it in the nearest bin.
Late trains back to Brighton from that there London Town are always lively
I wonder why Scotland introduced the alcohol ban, seems such a radical, unnecesary step...
Please we need a thread for these, I love reading them
I wonder why Scotland introduced the alcohol ban, seems such a radical, unnecesary step…
There is an alcohol ban in Scotland ? Not been for a couple of years, but....
Drunks on Trains was Simon Le Bon’s first draft of the lyrics before Roger Taylor told him he had a better idea
Maginificently obscure reference there 👏 👏
Nightbus stories … now there’s an idea for a thread!
And in many cases, very long bans. And possible reopening of cold cases!
i caught the 11.54 out of London Bridge last night - all sorts of horrors.
Teenage girl on the floor outside the toilets, her minidress hitched up round her waist - 2 x mates trying to scrape her up and screaming at her that they'd miss their train if she didn't get up.
I get up onto the platform to find an altercation going on with 3-4 people and the police trying to calm things down. Looks like one of the girls had dropped her phone onto the tracks and had been trying to climb down and get it.
Get on the train - drunk couple falling about all over the place, he kept dropping the bunch of flowers he was carrying on her behalf. they got off at the same stop as us - at which point he presented another random woman with the bunch of flowers and got a whack from his other half..
Phew !
Used to catch the London to Glasgow train alot (getting off at Warrington) and it was common for the Scotland bound groups to crack open beers as soon as the train left London.
How does that work now as the train crosses the border ?
Everyone needs to experience the last train home from Leeds towards Halifax via Bradford Interchange at least once in a lifetime. The daytime trains to Bradford are bad enough... I think the best I heard was a fella completely off his head asking the guard for a ticket to Waterloo.
Just on trains
Not the tweedbank to Waverley train. It'd be a brave soul to try to enforce that.
Trains going into Manchester on Friday and Saturday nights are notorious for stag and hen parties in the first throws of wild drunken enthusiasm for their forthcoming night out.
And then the last train out for the inevitably messy aftermath. It's very rare I've got the last train out (cos I simply avoid nights out in Manchester!) but if you mix and crowd of drunken football supporters (especially if it's a mix of City and Utd...) plus the aftermath of a stag/hen do, it's not a pleasant sight.
I remember one trip where it was a mix of quite well-to-do type folk who'd obviously been to the theatre or opera...and a bunch of (thankfully happy) drunken City fans singing that any Utd supporter was a paedo and other such delightful refrains.
They mostly got off at Brinnington. The well-to-do folk all relaxed considerably after that, they got off at Marple. If ever you wanted an example of a class divide, the M60 delineated it nicely!
I skim read the thread title as 'ducks on trains'. The less well known sequel to 'snakes on a plane'.
Bradford Interchange
I used to come through there a couple of times a month when working late. The horrors...
A mate describes the late trains from Nottingham to Mansfield as looking like the Star Wars cantina scene wih a very different soundtrack.
We got about 4 hours sleep last night, suspect those ladies did as well. At least we don't have to work today!
Not the tweedbank to Waverley train. It’d be a brave soul to try to enforce that.
The "prosecco express" - I have seen folk with a nice glass or two of something on the highland line as well.
The “prosecco express” – I have seen folk with a nice glass or two of something on the highland line as well.
also of note that the rule isn't applied in First Class. I regularly commute with work from Glasgow to Manchester, Birmingham and London and the wine keeps flowing on the return trip until well north of the border
The Ale Trail out of Manchester, starting at Batley and heading west back to Manchester on a summers day. Chaos, wonderful, good humoured chaos.
Train journeys can be absolutely miserable at times, couple of months ago i was across from a woman who was on her phone telling the whole carriage her miserable life story, in short, she was going in to see her baby that she'd given birth to and wasn't allowed to be alone with, that was probably the least miserable part.
The Xmas train is always fun as well, that last Thursday before Xmas, office parties galore, stuff of nightmares for some, opportunity for others, it's always good to know that train seats have those weird patterns due to the amount of 'stains' on them.
Used to get the train back from Bristol down to BoA, the week of Glastonbury was always eventful, but pretty much always good hearted stuff, just packed to the rafters.
Football trains are best avoided, and i include Scotland in that, alcohol ban means nothing on those days, if the guards brave enough to say anything it goes downhill very fast, with police at the next station guaranteed!
I wonder why Scotland introduced the alcohol ban, seems such a radical, unnecesary step…
Is this why trains heading north are usually full of Scotsmen who're quite trollied before reaching Carlisle?
After an afternoon gig in Bristol just before Xmas, followed by a meal and more beer, I caught the train home to Swansea. Standing room only, and it was quite intimate standing room, made more pleasant by a jokey conversation with a bunch of people who had a whole wheel of cheese that was being offered around, and the woman behind me. She was roughly the same age as me, funny and good looking, and like everyone else, slightly inebriated. She got her phone out to arrange a lift and became the most foul-mouthed person on the train for 5 minutes, put it away and became pleasant and flirty again. As she got off (in Newport, iirc) she groped me!
This is memorable because it's an awfully long time since anyone groped me! 😀
Everyone needs to experience the last train home from Leeds towards Halifax via Bradford Interchange at least once in a lifetime.
Tbf, it's probably the same as any late train out of any large city. 😀
Not much excitement on the trains where I am. After 6pm they have security guards patrolling up and down… and the key stations have them too.
Stopped when we hit a deer once. Confirmed it was “probably” a deer and moved on.
Tbf, it’s probably the same as any late train out of any large city. 😀
Nah, i've done a lot of late night trains, Bradford interchange and the trains arriving and departing are particularly special. Even the buses are something else.
A few years ago I got the last train back from York to Selby on a Saturday night, after City had had a lunchtime kick off
At one point a chant of "LET'S GO ****ING MENTAL" got going, which had me concerned, fortunately going mental translated as "breaking out into a jaunty rendition of John Denver's Country Road" 😀
Scotrail enforce the alcohol ban and I've seen folk get chucked off at the next station for continuing to drink, but if your LNER or another cross boarder service they don't enforce the ban as strictly (if you aren't hammered)
Scotrail enforce the alcohol ban and I’ve seen folk get chucked off at the next station for continuing to drink, but if your LNER or another cross boarder service they don’t enforce the ban as strictly (if you aren’t hammered)
Think this thread is more about the journey home for drunks rather than using the train as a pub 😁
I've seen folk chucked off as well on Scotrail trains between Glasgow and Edinburgh, but as stated earlier, the football trains are a whole different story, especially the ones coming into Glasgow, best avoided and not for the drink!
