[Closed] Dont call me Babe.

Didnt we do this last night re:bonuses?

Didnt we do this last night re:bonuses?

note [s]all[/s] two of the women on here dislike it.

FTFY.

It's really not a great sample size TJ.
And you're rather ignoring the vast majority of posters who say they don't mind it or even like it.

It belittleing and demeaning and disrespectful to refer to someone you don't know by a term of endearment. It says "I am more powerful than you"

WTF? So when the cleaners come in and say [i]"Can I empty your bin love?"[/i] they are not only being sexist, but they are also demeaning me and saying "I am more powerful than you"??

Get over yourself Sir.

TandemJeremy - Member
I am depressed by how Neanderthal and blinkered your attitude is in the 21st century McBoo

I get called "Love" and I'm the Neanderthal? I'm the victim of a hate crime!

Do you not think that stepping in and speaking on their behalf is not in itself somewhat patronizing?

agree with dondon on that bit mr teejay

Go on - re read the posts from the women on here and patronise them a bit more why don't you by telling them their objections to this are wrong.

And I've given you several reasons why I might be offended by you calling people "Sir"

I trust you will be desisting from this offensive practise immediately?

So three women posted onthis thread and this is ther response. do we believe them? or do we believe the right wing frothers such as McBoo

emsz - Member

I hate being called 'babe', or 'sweetheart' by blokes, but i don't mind 'love' from old dears on the checkout though. there's a bloke on the train station that calls everyone "me duck" which is ok. Hate being complimented by strangers as well, very creepy

emma82 - Member

I don't like it. From friends or family it's fine but from people who I don't know, from someone working for a service which I'm paying to use i.e. buses or anything similar, at work etc, nope dont like it. Basicially anyone else outside of my friends or closest family would probably get a shirty look. Use sir/madam or someones name fgs. I've always found it patronising when someone calls me 'love' or 'darlin'. gaaaarrrrgggghhhhhh actually really boils my pee. It's also very chavy.

orangina - Member

Alpin, I am German too but I hate being called darling, babe or love from complete strangers or people I hardly know. I find it degrading and belittling.
The psychology of treating someone 'friendlier' than you actually are is some power display thing, it's done in politics a lot (e.g. one politician putting his arm round another one... Bush jnr. has done that a lot). I have read this on the internez so it must be true!

And we now have the full set with a "PC gone mad" complaint.

Oh dear! 🙁

the right wing frothers such as McBoo

Does that make you a left wing squirter then, TJ?

FTFY.

It's really not a great sample size TJ.
And you're rather ignoring the vast majority of posters who say they don't mind it or even like it.

Its only some of the men posting who don't mind it the women all dislike the practice.

I wonder why? I wonder whos experience of sexist behaviour might be more relevant?

I wonder whos experience of sexist behaviour might be more relevant?

So men can't experience sexist behaviour now??

Sexist!

So men can't experience sexist behaviour now??

That's right. Now go make me a cup of tea, sugar balls.

What point was the OP making again? I cant remember and I'm the OP.

TJ.. The fact that a few people don't like something doesn't automatically make it wrong.

My elderly mother calls EVERYONE 'babe'. She isn't on some power trip or committing a hate crime. To most normal people she's simply being friendly. That the odd person doesn't like it is their problem.

I actually find your aloof championing of the minority voice quite demeaning to them and frankly, much ruder. Doubt that will make a difference though eh bruv.

or do we believe the right wing frothers such as McBoo

No I attacked him first. I called him a po-faced, humourless, supercilious, patronising old bore.

Clearly nothing could be further from the truth. I withdraw the accusation without question.

TJ.. The fact that a few people don't like something doesn't automatically make it wrong.

My elderly mother calls EVERYONE 'babe'. She isn't on some power trip or committing a hate crime. To most normal people she's simply being friendly. That the odd person doesn't like it is their problem.

I actually find your aloof championing of the minority voice quite demeaning to them and frankly, much ruder. Doubt that will make a difference though eh bruv.

same with my mum, and you've written my thoughts.... are we bothers bruv?

[i]And we now have the full set with a "PC gone mad" complaint[/i]

I assume that was pointed at me, however that's not what I said.

Some people do not like terms of endearment from people they don't know, they may for instance find it belittleing and demeaning. Fine. I don't really understand why, as mostly it is used in good spirit and with no negative connotations, but that's not the point, they are entitled to their view.

[i]It belittleing and demeaning and disrespectful to refer to someone you don't know by a term of endearment. It says "I am more powerful than you" [/i]

Is still, however, patently untrue, like blackboards and ba-ba-blacksheeps are not racist. It's the same for of political correctness in both cases that tells people that they [b]should be[/b] offended by something that they never thought to be offended by before.

So answer my point TJ. I don't like being called "Sir". I find it offensive.

It is a term of deference derived from "Sire" or "My Lord".
I'm offended that anyone thinks I would demand such a servile from of address.

So now I've made my objection known will you please avoid this offensive behaviour TJ and instead refer to me using the more equal term of "love" or "babe".

Thanks.

The psychology of treating someone 'friendlier' than you actually are is some power display thing, it's done in politics a lot (e.g. one politician putting his arm round another one... Bush jnr. has done that a lot)

Christ on a bendybus! I'm so bloody mad now!!! I've just realised that My entire day consists of being constantly belittled!

What makes it worse is the people who do it are smiling as they do it. They seemed so nice. The bastards!

I'm moving out of the North West to London. I'm going somewhere where the people I encounter are just rude, impolite or mute and uncommunicative. At least they're showing me some bloody respect

blackboards and ba-ba-blacksheeps are not racist.

To be fair, I'm not sure anyone (sane) has ever really said they are. It was just a typical "PC-Gorn-MAd" story that certain papers love to print, sweety.

My female boss calls me, and the three other men on our team, "petal". It's more baffling than insulting.

It's a north east thing apparently.

the thing that upsets me mostest is when women refer to mens underwear as knickers. who can i write to?

David Beckham?

[i]I'm moving out of the North West to London. I'm going somewhere where the people I encounter are just rude, impolite or mute and uncommunicative. At least they're showing me some bloody respect [/i]

I hated being back in the North West at the weekend, people I'd never met were hideously disrespectful to me in pubs, shops, on the street, standing in a queue for the bogs.

I mean, the temerity of being friendly to a stranger, I'd have them all whipped.

[i]To be fair, I'm not sure anyone (sane) has ever really said they are. It was just a typical "PC-Gorn-MAd" story that certain papers love to print, sweety. [/i]

Yeah, you may have a point, but you get mine, honeybun.

emsz - Member

I hate being called 'babe', or 'sweetheart' by blokes, [b]but i don't mind 'love' from old dears on the checkout though[/b]. [b]there's a bloke on the train station that calls everyone "me duck" which is ok.[/b] Hate being complimented by strangers as well, very creepy

And yet TJ claims:

Can yo really not see how belittleing it can be? [b]Note all the women posting on here dislike it.[/b]

Maybe thats the intent but its not a cultural difference - [b]note all the women on here dislike it.[/b]

[b]It belittleing and demeaning and disrespectful to refer to someone you don't know by a term of endearment.[/b] It says "I am more powerful than you"

and once again this overtly 'average' country rules the majority by the minority.

People are dying in eastern europe due to severe cold conditions, people dying in third world with severe malnutrition - but someone innocently calls a woman 'love' on a bus and it's headline news.

FFS - just sayin

's all about context, innit. It's quite possible to use terms address like 'love' in a sleazy, sexist way; it's equally possible to use it perfectly innocently.

There's an old woman on the supermarket checkouts here who uses 'love' about every third word. "Twenty quid, love. Have you got a club card love? Thanks love, there you go love. Pop your card in love, PIN and enter love, thanks love, bye love." I'm pretty sure that she's neither declaring unwarranted sexual desire towards every customer she meets, nor establishing her position of power over us all from behind the till. Moreover, I suspect she'd be mortified if she thought for a second that anyone might think that.

On the other hand, a lad outside a pub with a small lake's worth of Stella sloshing around inside him, bellowing "bloody hell love, you don't get many of them to a pound, do you want me to weigh 'em?" as you walk past, probably has entirely different motivations for saying it.

Context. Just because it can be inappropriate doesn't mean it automatically is.

[i]Just because it can be inappropriate doesn't mean it automatically is.[/i]

Indeed.

cougar, my man, you fine fellow, babe..... we've tried putting forward to context point several pages ago bruv, but the threads past the point of making good points darling.

alright my lover? got it bro?

(you should notice i wont be disrespectful enough to call you sir. oh and i quite like being told by random men outside pubs they couldn't get many of mine for a pound, makes me feel expensive)

's all about context, innit.

This should be the end of the thread really.

GrahamS - Member
blackboards and ba-ba-blacksheeps are not racist.
To be fair, I'm not sure anyone (sane) has ever really said they are. It was just a typical "PC-Gorn-MAd" story that certain papers love to print, sweety.

In a similar vain, I remember several years ago (probably about 10 now), they (whoever they are) tried to get Blackbird Hill & the Pub called the Blackbird (at the top of Blackbird Hill) in Neasden changed to Greybird Hill & The Greybird.
Yes, really. They didn't get very far though.

This is an amazing thread.

It has opened my eyes to the daily demeaning & belittling that I face every time one of those women in Tesco's calls me love, dear, sweetheart........oh and petal that someone mentioned above.
I'm a red blooded man for god sakes! I am not your sweetheart and next time you refer to me as such I will strike you down with my Tesco Finest Chocolate Brioche and see how you like a bit of belittling yourself.....

Ha. Take that.

Jamie - Member

sugar balls.

😆

I am not your sweetheart and next time you refer to me as such I will strike you down with my Tesco Finest Chocolate Brioche and see how you like a bit of belittling yourself.....

Just let them know that our guardian of PC thinking says it is far less belittling if they refer to you as "My Lord".

Brioche?

Qu'ils mangent de la brioche.....

Well, if you're buying your brioche from Tesco you deserve everything you get darling.

IHN - Member
Well, if you're buying your brioche from Tesco you deserve everything you get darling.

I ain't your darling.....geeza.

Tesco [b]FINEST[/b]. Not just any old Brioche for chez Stumpy01...

😆

Tesco Finest = Waitrose Floorsweepings. FACT 🙂

*hides Iceland brioche wrapper*

Icelands don't sell brioche.

That's just a sponge finger that's gone off a bit, candycock.

grum - Member

's all about context, innit.

This should be the end of the thread really.

Really? Cause page 1 you were indignant with rage about the "culture of belittlement".

Do you not think that stepping in and speaking on their behalf is not in itself somewhat patronizing?

How on earth could it be called patronizing to implore you to take the views of females seriously?

Still DS you just argue with TJ as it makes you a man
] Do you actually expect to change TJ DS? - can I call you King Canute [ if only for the fun of the typos I can have misspelling your new name?]

Still DS you just argue with TJ as it makes you a man

No, he's just asserting his position of authority.