My wife and I are having both our immediate families over for xmas day - all good done it the last 5 years and all works quite well. We've been asked to invite one of my Wife's aunties as she will be otherwise alone. She's lovey and we all get on well so no problem delighted to have her over. As she lives in a different city so will be staying with my in-laws - again great.
Only my inlaws on Boxing Day host a doo for extended family - all the aunties, uncles cousins etc. For some unknown reason, the aunty who is with us on xmas day (and again we were explicitly told to invite her) has NOT been invited to her Boxing Day bash - The only person on that entire side of the family not invited. To compound this my inlaws have told her some elaborate, clearly bullshit excuse as to why she needs to leave early doors on boxing day morning so they can get the house ready for the party.
We've been requested to back up their excuse and if asked we're to lie to the woman's face.
So my & I wife are now in a position to either lie to a lovely guests' face at my dinner table (which is clearly a blatant lie) or to drop the bombshell fact that we're all having a jolly knees up the following day but she's clearly not good enough to be invited.
I thought this year was going too bloody smoothly ffs!
**** that.
Tell them to get her invited or she can come on Christmas and they can't.
Take lovely aunty out for lunch on Boxing Day and give the party a swerve.
NO way do you lie to protect others. Tell whoever organized the party to tell her she is not invited to that you will not. Let them sort it out. As above dis-invite them if they will not play ball
Tell the Aunt about the party, only have her Christmas and Boxing Day. She’ll have her will changed before the new year.
the "some unknown reason" would need both explaining to me and gaining my support if i were to keep my mouth shut
it'd have to be something really big for me to lie for someone else.
Cancel your Christmas day bash. If anyone asks why, just tell them life is too short for Christmas family bollox.
Cancel your Christmas day bash. If anyone asks why, just tell them life is too short for [s]Christmas[/s] family bollox.
Very, very much this.
Take lovely aunty out for lunch on Boxing Day and give the party a swerve
This, definitely this.
Can you not just have the auntie stay with you and sack off the Boxing Day party. Sounds like my idea of hell anyway tbh.
Take lovely aunty out for lunch on Boxing Day and give the party a swerve.
100% this.
Cancel your Christmas day bash. If anyone asks why, just tell them life is too short for Christmas family bollox.
Except for auntie, she can come over for Christmas
Don't start me.
In-laws of the in-laws seem to be making the decisions about everyones Christmas at the moment, all so that they get the Christmas that have decided on, and everyone else has to fall in line/wait on thier decision.
Arrange a duel in the back garden for those that don’t get on - always used to work back in the day…
After a couple of years where SIL+BIL completely ruined festivities by bringing up Brexit and being generally obnoxious, we moved 500 miles north, problem solved!
Take lovely aunty out for lunch on Boxing Day and give the party a swerve.
This has class and may still result in
She’ll have her will changed before the new year.
We always have quiet Christmases, generally with friends rather than family. But I love the annual STW family ructions thread. Not sure if the dog-weeing-in-garden-dirty-look-from-MiL-so-we-got-straight-back-into-car-and-left-before-a-word-was-even-spoken incident has ever been bettered. 😀
I wouldn't lie. Simple as that. Let them who are being dishonest deal with their own mess, if you conspire with them you're part of the problem and will greatly offend wife's lovely auntie when she finds out (as she surely will).
Get the starters out of the way and until everyone has had a few glasses and then "so aunty ...why aren't you coming to the massive big rave up at the in laws everyone else is tomorrow, we'd love to see you there?"
Call taxi's, pour large VSOP and enjoy 5+ yrs of bullshit free Christmases.
Not really as above do something nice for your aunty or tell the fibbers to **** off
Ask for an explanation … if there isn’t a good one (she once slept with the husband of someone else in the family, or something else that would make the day hell for someone else) then make your own Boxing Day plans.
Which one has the better inheritance chances?
This is why when offered a shift I jump at the chance!
Had a meal like this once many years ago. It was like The Last Supper sitting knowing that one of the people at the table was being lied to. A week later when the person asked me if I'd known about it, I had a choice of coming clean or compounding the lie. I just told the truth. It wasn't my house or my direct family and I had no desire to be involved.
Repeat after me
we will not lie for you
I called out my medic student neice yesterday at the family Christmas pub meal. We usually meet half way between our respective homes for a nice time. I can thoroughly recommend that you visit the Methuen Arms in Corsham. It's between Bath and Chippenham.
Anyway, she's 19 now, an adult. She was telling us of Covid patients she had worked with and then blew her runny nose onto a bit of tissue. Then put the obviously moist tissue in the middle of the table. I asked her to put it away properly and she blanked me. I asked louder, essentially telling and reminding her why she was in the wrong. Table went quiet. Pub went quiet. She gave the yukky tissue to her mum, who took it unquestionally and put it in an empty wine glass. Neither of them seemed even slightly aware that they were doing the wrong thing. Niece's response was that it's sorted, with no apparent realisation that there was a (hopefully minimal ) chance of infection transmission. She's a trainee theatre assistant FFS!
Stony silence ensued.
You can choose your friends but you can't choose your family.
Emigrate.
Anything else is posturing.
Worked for me.
Weird situation. They've expressly asked you to invite her to your gathering and expressly not invited her to yours?
Why?
You can choose your friends but you can’t choose your family.
Sure you can. Tell them to **** off. As presented by the OP I'd be swerving the inlaws' party and spending the evening with lovely auntie. Duplicitous cockbags.
What he said ^
OP - please update us how this turns out.
Cheers all - good to have a temp check in that I'm not off in thinking its an unreasonable situation.
Yesterday my wife and her brother hove both, independently, told their parents they are bang out of order and to rectify it, but they are digging their heels in.
I've made it quite clear I'm not prepared to lie to cover for them.
I think this makes it odds on in favour for fireworks at Christmas.
I'll make sure I've got a charged hip flask and will head out for a long dog walk with my parents if it all kicks off.
Can't wait for the Festive liveblog. 🙂
At least your wife's on side!
Sounds bizarre from the inlaws though. Why ask her to stay over, and you to sort her xmas day over, only to kick her out before boxing day?
Would your wife accept disinviting your inlaws?
Would your wife accept disinviting your inlaws?
HaHahaHaHahaHaHahaHaHahaHaHahaHaHaha - no. Could you imagine?
My wife's family have 5? set events over the festive period. These run like clockwork and NEVER change (Us taking over xmas day was 'A Thing').
The first year we were together, my wife missed one of these events so we could spend a day with my family. Her mum never spoke to her for about 8 weeks as a result.
I am so glad I have worked most christmasses my adult life! Its set the precedent that I do not join my family on xmas day. works for me
Ok - I have the answer - cocaine and whiskey - turn yourself into such an obnoxious arse that no one will ever want to come to your house again. Anesthetise your wife with a few vallium slipped into her morning coffee so she does not notice
Or - move house and do not tell anyone!
Or - catch something dreadful so yo have an excuse not to particiapate
Ok – I have the answer – cocaine and whiskey – turn yourself into such an obnoxious arse that no one will ever want to come to your house again. Anesthetise your wife with a few vallium slipped into her morning coffee so she does not notice
I like your thinking! Sadly my parents will be there so I will behave. Also red wine gives me bad enough hangovers these days, I can't imagine a wine & whisky & cocaine hangover.
I do think the fall out from this year, which will of course be my fault entirely 🙄 shall relieve me of my invitation to subsequent family events.
So that could count as a win
Good on OP's wife and brother. I suspect there is some silly reason. MIL doesn't particularly like her sister much, and used to be quite rude to her, when her sister used to visit MIL weekly as she couldn't get out.
Relatively simple here this year. All my side are together for the first time in years at my folks house - we've usually been at MIL's as it's her "Last Christmas" - it's been like that for over 10 years and she's still here but in a Nursing home. Christmas morning is me and MrsF going to see MIL in the home - just 30 minutes and the first time I've seen her since the start of the pandemic given restrictions. Then after lunch to my parents. All us siblings are doing the cooking/washing up - mum and dad just hosting as they have the space.
Boxing day, just at home, but inviting SIL as she is on her own.
The first year we were together, my wife missed one of these events so we could spend a day with my family. Her mum never spoke to her for about 8 weeks as a result.
All the more reason to tell them to **** off. That's emotional blackmail that most people grow out of when they clear puberty. Also, control freaks much?
And again - why are they ostracising Auntie?
Your inlaws sound like absolute c*nts tbh.
Edit - They must have given a reason surely? The first question i'd ask is, why...
Control freaks - sounds like it. MIL still tries to control her 3 daughters from the Nursing home !
Come on OP, you can't leave us hanging like this.
Get sleuthing and bring us the goss. If only for the sake of Cougar's blood pressure.
> scratch that <
lol love it.
Dont lie, just say your going and its not your doo so you cant invite auntie. If she wants to go ask the people that are sorting it out. Done this meany times.
Or – catch something dreadful so yo have an excuse not to particiapate
Ah, a Covid benefit at last! You don't even actually need to be positive, just put some Lucozade on a LFT! 😁
