Will try to keep this short, it's a long old story but essentially our Glastonbury was overshadowed by one of our group trying to start an argument, failing and then having a tantrum a 5-year old would be impressed by. (She's 40 in August...) My mate's observation was that the whole thing looked deliberate.
She's been falling out with friends constantly for the last 20 years, could sulk for England, has never had a boyfriend etc - and most of her friends now have had enough and are backing away from her. I think the fact that a lot of them have toddlers of their own mean they're all a little wiser about the games people play! + she's attacked (verbally) people a few too many times now.
I was the target of the attempted argument and decided the best way to avoid getting involved was to just refuse to play the game and basically just kept my distance for the whole weekend... and will continue to do so because I think any response from me just draws me into her manipulations...
Although the group doesn't get together that often, we're bound to be in the same room again at some point and my plan is to just disengage - on the basis that any conversation leaves me open to more grief...
Thoughts?
She needs pet cats. Lots of them.
Sounds like you did the right thing to me.
Yup, buy her a kitten
just humour her if she tries to draw you in and avoid playing along with her games.
Just kick her in the jacksie.
I can help you with this but you will have to send me ten pounds first.
Cheers
What's her forum log in?
She needs pet cats. Lots of them.
That's hilarious. 20 years ago someone predicted she'd end up being a cat lady!
a swift knee to the happy sacks she will drop like anyone else 😉
tell her to do one, I never understand why people get drawn in to arguments when you can simply ignore them - you know like we do with childrens tantrums. By 1 year old does a wicked belly flop t the floor job now and he gets ignored (ok I laugh my tits of actually)..
Not a lot else you can do other than what you're doing IMO.
pics ?
> [i]more serious mode[/i] < She may not know how bad she is making you all feel,and if she has no significant other ,then you and your friends are the only people (outside family) that mean something to her. If you, or any of the rest of your friends care about what happens ,then talk to her.>[i]serious mode off[/i]<
[i]or go with the cat plan[/i]
🙂
You could try agreeing vehemently with everything she says? Just to add a bit of interest like, especially if she's trying to pick faults with you and start arguments that way. Agreeing with folk often takes the wind out of their sails.
Details, details, details!! I know you want to keep it short but an example would help to shed light on the situation, if you are willing to share of course. Also, the mate who thought her actions were deliberate- was that the first time he has met her? Sometimes it takes someone with an 'outsiders' perspective to realise what is really going on.
Once folk grow up (normally when kids appear), they realise that the 'old gang' was just that, something from their old days.
Move on.
b r you have just made me sad like an episode of 'The Wonder Years'
Sounds like she needs to get laid. Get a room.
Kill her with fire after clubbing her unconscious with your penis?
Even before I got to your second paragraph I knew what you were going to say next and I was already thinking of a couple of [s]girls[/s] women like that.
They seem to act eternally young/never grow up and will always blame[s] something in their childhood[/s] ANYONE for whats happened/happening to them.
Another couple of observations (that I've seen/can tie-in)
I bet she drinks at teens/early 20's levels still.
I bet shes had a string of idiot boyfriends and its their fault not hers.
I used to say 'feel for X, shes soo unlucky in love'. Then it clicked 😆
Ignore
or
Leave it with me
or
I don't know
I think you'll find this is the correct reaction to constant provocation
The advantage being that you've then got something to feed her cats with too
goad her relentlessly ...assuming the more mature option of never ever speaking to her ever again is not a viable one
[s]This thread would be a lot more interesting[/s] We'd be able to offer more useful help with more details of the behaviour.
Then it clicked
Before or after they dumped you 😉
Dammit edlong I you saw straight through me!! 😉
Looks like she is regretting not having settled down with family so seek attention.
Tell her party time is over and she really needs to calm down permanently as the good life will not be there any longer.
One blink she will be in her 50s, another blink she willl be all alone if she does not pipe down, further blink she will leave this world alone.
Once folk grow up (normally when kids appear), they realise that the 'old gang' was just that, something from their old days.Move on.
Sooooo.... people you've been mates with a long time are all to be avoided? Unless they've got kids? 😕
[quote=chewkw said]further blink she will leave this world alone.
The cats, don't forget the cats.
yeah details plz, love a bit of gossip about total strangers in the afternoon. If she starts could you take a sensible approach whilst making her look foolish by mocking her or what she is saying? I'm picturing Vic n Bob with handbags here "OOOOOHHHH"
Even before I [s]got to your second paragraph[/s] opened this thread, I knew what you were going to say next ( no ,I am not Psychic ) and I was already thinking of [s]a couple of[/s] girls,women [s]like that[/s].[s]They[/s] Like her,I seem to act eternally young/never grow up and will always blame something [s]in their childhood ANYONE for[/s] else,rather than whats happened/happening [s]to them[/s] in the thread.
Another couple of observations (that I've seen/can tie-in/have made up)
I bet she [s]drinks at teens/early 20's levels still[/s] would fancy me.
I bet shes had a string of [s]idiot[/s] Psychic boyfriends and its their fault not hers,that they have never met.I used to say 'feel for X, shes soo unlucky in love and send her my 20yr old profile photo'. Then it clicked ,and now they are all sorry.
grum - MemberOnce folk grow up (normally when kids appear), they realise that the 'old gang' was just that, something from their old days.
Move on.
Sooooo.... people you've been mates with a long time are all to be avoided? Unless they've got kids?
That happens sometimes ... it's more like those with the first child that avoid his/her mates but after having say 2 or 3 life go back to normal. i.e. behaving like younger days etc.
allthepies - Memberchewkw said » further blink she will leave this world alone.
The cats, don't forget the cats.
They will all be put down to be with her ... 😈
It took me a long time to work out that simply, life is too short to put up with arseholes.
I can think offhand of three people who I put up with for years because they were "friends" and because when they put their mind to it they could be good company. Unfortunately, the rest of the time they were a word that the swear filter won't let me type.
And the thing was, this wasn't an isolated opinion. Everyone else who knew them thought pretty much the same things, but no-one ever did anything about it. We all just grumbled quietly to each other and put up with these disruptive buggers out of a sense of, I don't know, guilt? Pity?
I'm not sure what the solution was (other than for one who I told directly to sort their behaviour out or GTF), but ultimately it got to a point where I'd be refusing to go out if they were there. Over time, others were saying the same thing and making the same decision, and eventually the problems presumably found someone else to latch on to and leech the life out of.
Because make no mistake, these people are parasites. My life has been immeasurably better without them in it. Cut them loose, and do it now.
a swift knee to the happy sacks she will drop like anyone else
Is she an Emohawk?
They will all be put down to be with her ...
.....they'll all feed off her corpse....
I've changed my mind - in the wise words of junkyard - GOAD her on - it will make all subsequent outings with her a laugh, and all of your "gang" will love you for it - infact I reckon they would go so far as to put you in a small confined space together just for kicks.. Is she fat as well..? just asking like.
Is she fat as well.
If shes like the ones I know then no she'll be quite slim.
At glastonbury........
Should.have handcuffed her too a hippy/a faith healer/samaraten and buggered off and had fun. 😀
Although it would be fascinating, no more details I'm afraid...
I'm minded to think like Cougar, and I most other people who know her are too... life's too short. Too many good friends I'd rather spend my efforts on...
GOAD her on
This ^^
Quite some time ago I realised that some people are just asshats who are entirely responsible for theur own (denied) failings and really unpleasant to be with. They all have one thing in common, and that is the ability to dish it out but not take it.
When they finally get a taste of their own medicine it can be spectacularly entertaining. Go for it, it doesn't sound like you'd be bothered if you lost/dropped her as a friend anyway 😉
Goad her on?
Not a chance, it'd end up with egg on your face/looking like you are in the wrong. She has all the time in the world whereas you have 10things on your plate at any one time.
Avoid. Including social engagements/doo's etc from now on.
Should.have got her off her tits...
Then left her in the depths of hell, in shangrila. 😈
It sounds like attention seeking behaviour,as Sui says,ignore,she'll hate it,or tell her she's looking for a reaction and you're not going to react,she'll strop,and end up looking like a spoilt 5 yearold.
Take the pi$$ remorselessly until she's completely unsure of herself. Simply destroy her self confidence with your whit and badinage. That usually ends well at a social gathering....
tell her she's looking for a reaction and you're not going to react,she'll strop,and end up looking like a spoilt 5 yearold.
that's pretty much what did happen - it would've been funny if it wasn't so tragic - a 39 year old woman stropping out of a tent in the rain after I refused to be drawn into an argument, going a short distance away and bawling her eyes out... <close enough for maximum attention of course>
I'm wondering what the next move will be - there was an abusive text which followed this incident (Thursday) and another text yesterday trying to blame me for the abusive text which she sent 😯
