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So hypothetical question here.
You start dating a woman who earns a good 3x what you do and has the tastes to boot. She likes to be wined and dined expensive holidays, and obviously this includes the fella paying as this is what she's used to.
So when a meal out is half your weekly wage, and a holiday has to be in Dubai at 2k how would one play it?
I think there are some "honest" conversations to be had and expectations altered.
Not worth it
Holidays in Dubai?
Dump her. Now.
She's obviously dating (hypothetical person) because they are a nice guy/donkey willy/splendid in the sack.
She won't be expecting (hypothetical person) to be throwing cash about.
EDIT: If she is, she had zero class.
Is she fit?
Tell her.
Phew! That was difficult.
If, after she has been told the guy can't afford that life, she continues to expect to be treated in this way then its time to trade her in for a girl who loves you for what and who you are.
Edit: Hypothetically speaking that is.
a girl who loves you for what and who you are
Where would I find such a short sighted, easily impressed perverted freak?
Holidays in Dubai?Dump her. Now.
This
Whats your expectation for the relationship ? Just a fling ? or more ?
Dubai ain't that bad, been there ? Great sailing location.
Earn more money?
Just be honest and tell her to pay.
not living upto your moniker then.
Been married to someone who earns more than me. It's never been a problem as my self esteem is not related to my income so don't feel my masculinity is not under threat.
I was in Dubai last weekend. I wouldn't go on my own money for certain!
Lived in abu Dhabi and visited dubai multiple times with work. It's a fake cesspit of a hell hole which unfortunately attracts loathsome people. I dread every visit.
Dump her now!
CaptainFlashheart - Member
Holidays in Dubai?Dump her. Now.
Dubai not on the holiday destination list then...
Seriously though, MrsJulianA earned more than I did when we got together (perhaps not 3x though, but her earning potential was much greater) and we've been together eighteen years and counting.
Feelings should matter much more than money - if that's not the case then maybe it won't work. Sorry...
My gf earns double my salary. For the most part its fine, I get to drive round in her nice fancy car and I live in a house that I couldn't afford to live in if my partner earned the same as me.
We do have monthly conversations about what I can realisticly afford to spend on stuff that not the mortgage, sometimes she forgets! So she buys alot of the furniture etc that she likes because theres no way I could lead a normal life if I was trying to keep up with her.
Just keep forgetting your wallet and ride the wave for a few months
this includes the fella paying as this is what she's used to.
A touch old fashioned. If you told her you expect a woman to have your dinner on the table when you get home every night and afterwards she can spend her evenings darning your socks, how far do you think you'd get?
Dump her. Now.
Not so hasty, goodbye shag first. No, her not me you idiot 🙂
MSP - Member
a girl who loves you for what and who you are
Where would I find such a short sighted, easily impressed perverted freak?
Sadly I think hora's in a relationship now...
She needs to be told that if she's expecting [s]you[/s] the fella to pay for her expensive lifestyle then she needs a reality check. What does she spend her 3x salary on if [s]you[/s] this fella is paying for everything?
hmm
my gf earns 3x what I do, loves cooking, handy at clothing repairs, and usually pays for the hols. (She's even bought me a bike)
Does make me wonder wtf she is doing with me
I'll not say anything
Piemonster - does she have a sister?
She doesn't have any taste if she's holidaying in Dubai. I'd run a mile just based on that fact.
What did you tell her you did for a living?
I dated a woman who earned ten times what I did. She paid for almost everything, with me making a token gesture here and there.
I was 25 she was 39. I made up for the difference in earnings in others ways, primarily by giving her plenty of great sex and by being charming and funny.
It didn't last and I was genuinely heartbroken, as she was lovely and I would have been with her if she was poor as a church mouse. In the end it was the age difference that got in the way and not the money.
How would I play it in your situation? Give her the best sex she has ever had, but mention you are broke and see what happens. This will include getting hold of some viagra and brushing up on how to please women.
Don't underestimate how far being the best partner she has ever had can go.
Realistically though it doesn't sound promising as she sounds like a princess and if so you are flogging a dead horse no matter how good in bed you are.
Why the hell wouldnt you be honest?
IF you're that worried about face, the relationship doesn't sound too good!
I earn a lot more than 3 times what my wife earns and did do when we first met. We're both fine with this.
As for the other stuff, manage her expectations, if she's not happy with that then say bye amicably.
Where does everyone find these rich women?
Personally I'd steer clear of someone who was that materialistic...
+ if she's loaded and you're not, what does it say about her that she expects you to pay for everything?
Personally I don't think it's healthy for there to be a significant difference in wealth in a relationship, in can potentially lead to the lower-earning partner becoming dependent on the one with the money, which doesn't bode well for a healthy relationship, it's well open to abuse, let alone getting used to a life you won't be able to afford if you split
You may want to remind her that feminism was, in part, about emancipating women from financial dependency on men and she how she responds. If she doesn't take it well, you may have your answer 🙂
What did you tell her you did for a living?
she emailed him 😉
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CaptainFlashheart - Member
Holidays in Dubai?Dump her. Now.
^^^ this
Nothing wrong with dating someone on a different income, but you need to tell her that you can't afford to pay for the stuff she wants. If she complains, dump her. It's not worth the hassle. If that's the way she rolls, she'll suck you dry, then find someone else with more money.
If that's the way she rolls, she'll suck you dry
Win.
Currently seeing a girl who expects me to pay for almost everything. I don't mind treating a girl but when it's expected from her all the time then it doesn't feel special any more, for me or her. We get on well and have lots of fun but to be honest it's wearing a bit thin now, particularly when she's on the cocktails at £10 a go. The great sex and the fact she's really hot are the only reason why I'm still hanging in there. Can't see me putting up with it for much longer.
Sorry, but to repeat
Holidays in Dubai?Dump her. Now.
I dated a girl in a similar situation once, turns out on inspection of her credit card bills, and her expectation on eveything being shared in a relationship, that all was not what it seemed.
I soon saw the light, then my cloths, then the door, then the car etc etc
So when a meal out is half your weekly wage, and a holiday has to be in Dubai at 2k how would one play it?
As above Dubai holidays are a "red line", I wouldn't go on holiday there if you paid me £2k. Oman on the other hand is fabulous.
OP she's no good, if she wants to go to pricey places she cannot expect her boyfriend to pay if he earns 1/3rd of her salary.
@agent, as you say it's up to you but her behaviour is not cool at all. She should pay for time to time or say buy/cook dinner some nights whilst perhaps you pick up the tab for the big nights out.
@agent, as you say it's up to you but her behaviour is not cool at all.
Nope I'm not that comfortable with it to be honest which is why I know the relationship now has limited shelf life. She said I made her feel awkward in the past by hinting that she should contribute towards hotel, meal, taxi etc. So now I normally pay for almost everything because it's just easier and avoids the awkward moment when the bill arrives and she just sits there looking at me.
Like I said the sex is amazing and we have great laugh otherwise I'd have run a mile months ago, but because unfortunately because of the above then she's not a keeper.
My wife earns more than me.
We've had arguments about most things in the decade + we've been together but never about money.
Mind you, salaries go into a joint account and she's often joked that if something happened to her, I'd have to borrow money until I'd figured out how the cash point works and what our pin numbers are... 🙂
People going to Dubai for a holiday is beyond me.
Work yes, transfers yes but holiday? Beaches are everywhere and wheres the cultural angle?
Does she work in sales/pharma/drugs or something? Everyone I know who goes to Dubai for pleasure seems to be^
Hey, Agent -
because it's just easier and avoids the awkward moment when the bill arrives and she just sits there looking at me.
If you find that awkward, they you're not a keeper. Retrieve your testicles and say: "How shall we pay for this one? I paid last time so this time it's yours"
If women want equal pay (as is only fair), then they should pay a proportioonal amount of costs.
So the OP should have his richer girlfriend paying for at least 2 out of 3 meals 🙂