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BigDummy - Member
You bitch. I've been a frickin' mirror image of myself for weeks.
raiders of the lost ark face melter style!
(for the MBUK readers, that was a film from before when you were born, when people wore their trousers round their waists)
Thanks for explanations, it's all clear now! Harsh though
has she heard about yer really small penis or something?
orrrrr ... you could go out with her lots more times and (listen) till you learn something about women?
orrrrr .... you could get her really pissed one neet and "take yer chances";O)
its all good, Lol
orrrrrrrrr ... you could introduce her to me and i'll show you how its all done ... and tell you all about it afterwards too (like the Cad i am) tee hee hee 😉
do you have a friend who works in an abattoir? if so ask them to help out, clear out your living room (or dining room) and then invite said lady around for the evening and ensure that you wear your most seductive crab outfit as you beckon her to join you upon your lovingly constructed marital bed of meat?
"I'm convinced it going to waste my time and energy!"
Cultivating good friends is a very good use of time and energy. Unless you've actually fallen for her already and it hurts. In which case I'd go for broke.
Cultivating good friends is a very good use of time and energy. Unless you've actually fallen for her already and it hurts. In which case I'd go for a bloke.
there you go, fixed it for you 😀
I'm really struggling not to think about the bed of meat. I can almost feel its cold, oozy clamminess, and smell its odour. 😯
Drink loads of Jack Daniel's and ginger beer on the rocks, then go to her place of residence in the small hours and serenade her with Pantera's Vulgar Display of Power in it's entirety.
Steak and blow job by Wednesday or your money back.
"In which case I'd go for a bloke."
Not for me ta, but I'm not stopping you! 😀
I wonder why she has 'gone off' ...
- a bloke who thinks women he does not have sex with are valueless people?
- a bloke who sees no value at all in genuine friendship and fun
- a bloke who sulks and writes people off the moment he does not get what he wants from them?
Gee, a mystery isn't it?
I think you need to evaluate yourself, not her!
CG could you please e-mail me to explain what it is we guys don't get? Seriously, some insight into the female psyche would help a lot. Remember my recent post? No progress but still ongoing.
Well done Mrsgrips - a woman poster who hasn't been smug and patronising.
As for the others who [b][i]know[/i][/b].......we simple men are all aware that women have to have a 'board meeting' involving at least 6 close friends and copious amounts of wine/chocolate and watch a film involving Colin Firth/Hugh Grant before they can posssibly consider a new [strike]shag[/strike] partner.
To the OP - you are obviously walking around like a dick on legs and she's testing you to see if is all you want is a rummage in her lycra. Chill out, if she like you and vice versa, what is the problem with going along the 'friends' route and seeing what develops ?
Guys - are we not fragrant? Alluring? Irresistable? Indecisive? Irritating? Look - half the time we just don't know what we want so that's why you can't possibly be expected to know. 🙄
Make an effort - flowers but not from the petrol station. A small bunch of scented freesias or stock - nothing vulgar. A very small box of high quality chocs.
pop larkin - Member
CG is a lesbian
May I draw your attention to this post:
Deporsonalisation project moves forward
[i]I look forward to Saturday mornings when I visit my local Waitrose. Only use the basket checkout mind cos I like to flirt outrageously with the rather charming student chaps they employ on that till.
Dunno where they find them but essential requirements for that job at Waitrose has to be a winning smile and have attended charm school. [/i]
I am all woman and, it has to be said, a handful. 😉
One day I'll pluck up enough courage to ask relationship advice on STW.... but not until I can get my head around grafting seals onto the backs of scorned lovers 😕
I am all woman and, it has to be said, a handful.
And, I suspect, a generation removed from the OP 😉
I think some folk have inadvertently thought they were posting on the fetish site!
Some very amusing replies and quite an insight into the male mind. Actually it's terrifying. 😯
genghis - sorry to hear but don't give up. On a serious note I reckon people simply do not know how to communicate away from a keyboard. As for relationships, I guess the older you are the more scary the dating thing becomes so the easy option is to avoid it. But life isn't easy so would just suggest knowing when to be assertive but still being yourself. Good luck!
if rape is considered to be such hilarious fun, are we soon to discover that child abuse is merely well deserved "tough love" ?
Sfb - what are you wittering on about?
quite an insight into the male mind
Possibly most folk on here are holding back too. There's plenty more where that came from i'm sure....
Go on BontyBuns - enlighten us girlies please. 🙂
then when she has the resulting crash
**** her while she is still warm, if she's twitching a bit just pretend it's with passion not blood loss and shock.
think of it more like an internal CPR
**** her while she is still warm, if she's twitching a bit just pretend it's with passion not blood loss and shock.think of it more like an internal CPR
😆 😆 😆 Yeah, I know it's sick but that is funny.
Go on BontyBuns - enlighten us girlies please
Is it just me or are you making a pass.
It's possible i think that about evey situation.
Theres nothing wrong with ego just like theres nothing wrong with the sun but unlike the sun the ego can be infinite. x
thank you kindly, it's from the lighter side of my psyche 😉
I know it's sick but that is funny.
if you're a psychopath...
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don't mess with a cyclepath!
Du-Dum. Tssh.
😉
Text her a pic of your angry c0ck. Wimmins love romantic texts like that.
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how could she resist
Bitchs love textin.
Bitchs love textin.
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That is awesome!
Personally I would still spend time with her. Use your best photographic memory to acquire images for private quality time but be careful not to get caught leering. Drop her like a sack of crap the second you get a real girl that puts out. Don't listen to all this nonsense about sealions. Walruses is where it's at. I know, I spent 23 years around WRAFs. Or narwhals, they are cool.
cranberry - Member
Cynical - a gentleman would use a rag soaked in chloroform.
a common rapist would use a rag.
a gentleman would use a fine silk hankerchief.
a gentleman would use a fine silk hankerchief.
Busted. In truth I am no gentleman - I was dragged up.