[Closed] Chat up lines

Almost by definition anything formulaic is less likely to be successful, though I'm far from being an expert at talking to women I fancy, so probably best to ignore me.

Having been married for nearly 20 years of my just over 40 years existence, I cannot remember, but must have been awesome, as it seems the first attempt worked... 8)

I'm thinking ice-breakers in a supearket or [b]train platform[/b]...

"Please let me look, I happen to be a doctor"

One of my mates, who is a good looking fella, achieved 'Legend' status when his now-girlfriend revealed that after a flirtatious evening when they first met, he'd walked her home to her house and been invited in.

She nipped to get drinks. He made himself comfortable. When she returned, he'd got his kit off, and as she walked in he delivered the killer line....

"Climb on"

😀

Used on, not by, me;

"I'm going home for a shower and you're joining me. "

Lovely lass from Leamington Spa. Ahhhhhh, happy memories.

I once asked a girl in a shop if she wanted a ... well, you know.
Aah, those were the days!

One of my mates

liar...i bet it was you really!! 😉

When I was in uni I rented a room in a shared house we called the dinosaur room. It was obviously a kids bedroom previously and had muriels of dinosaur landscapes with stickers of dinosaurs on the walls and a dark blue ceiling with cotton wool clouds and glow in the dark stars. Twice I lured girls in after telling them about it and using the phrase 'do you want to see my dinosaur?'

In all honesty, nothing is more alluring than confidence in your own skin. Likewise if you can talk normally and hold a conversation thats good too. The initial start is tricky and depends where you are. Supermarket, notice something they are buying like chocolate, ask them if they have tried something similar. But body language and tone will give away more than words alone.

I'm thinking ice-breakers in a supermarket

Wait for a woman you fancy start to inspect the cucumbers,... sidle up next to her, pick up a bigger one than she has and say "Mine' bigger than that"....

"So, Pinot Grigio or cider oblivion"

Was the bet I made to someone who shall remain nameless 😆 still, the bucket in the bedroom sort of took the edge off

Gonzy - I can only dream of being possessed with such self confidence. Too high risk a strategy for me, my friend 😀

Well in the spirit of @cfh

Got into a cab with a girl to go back to the hotel, the taxi driver turned round and asked where we wanted to go and she said "I'm going to heaven". I just wish my mates where around to hear it as frankly none of them believe me. This evening had followed standard UK dating practice as the girl was totally drunk, why else would she be in a cab with me 😐

I can't say I have any magic lines but I think it's best to think of an interesting question to ask so they get to talk about themselves

If you just want to get your end away then by far the best technique is to walk into your local pulling joint with a smile on your face and look as though you're really enjoying yourself without trying. People will want to talk to you.

Otherwise, if you're looking for stimulating conversation and companionship then going for an amazing chat up line never really works...you either have to follow up with something equally amazing or you end up having to explain it to your baffled audience. There's nothing worse than discovering that your jaw-dropping Princess from the planet Venus is actually a humourless moron.

Does hello not work as an ice breaker these days? The other problem is everyone seems to be either obsessed with looking at a device with a little screen or have earphone things in.

Does hello not work as an ice breaker these days?

a friendly cock-slapping works better, certainly leaves no unbroken ice

The other problem is everyone seems to be either obsessed with looking at a device with a little screen

It's possible to use this to your advantage. Wait until your chosen prey has stopped in her tracks to fiddle with said screen, and then simply walk in to her. Instant ice-breaker 🙂

She nipped to get drinks. He made himself comfortable. When she returned, he'd got his kit off, and as she walked in he delivered the killer line....

"Climb on"

9 months for sexual harrassment nowadays.......

muriels of dinosaur landscapes

Was your English teacher Hilda Ogden?

"The train's late again today. Fancy a shag?"

by far the best technique is to walk into your local pulling joint with a smile on your face and look as though you're really enjoying yourself without trying. People will want to talk to you.

Does this work in Sainsbury's?

Does this work in Sainsbury's?

'I'm glad your here, mind if I hang my coat up?'

Only works next to the chiller cabinet.

Once, when I was much younger, much fitter and much more handsome, I had what would now be described as a [i]Cougar [/i] introduce herself to me in a club with the line 'would you like to see some puppies?' 😯

My jaw fair hit the floor!

To my eternal regret (and because I was young and madly in love with my girlfriend) I didn't take her up on the offer

Nor did I manage to respond with a witty line like 'my mum told me never to go anywhere with strangers' 😥

still ranks as the best chatup line I've ever heard though 😀

"sorry, i have lost my phone number, can i borrow yours?"

nailed it every-time.

My happily married mate literally has women hanging off him on tours... He's quite a character anyway and has a pet sausage dog called Branston which he has literally hundreds of photos of on his phone, all of which are shown with amusing narration. After about 50 photos he'll eventually get to one of his stunning wife, at which point he'll go 'ah and this is my wife, I love her dearly' and kiss his screen. The looks of disappointment on the ladies' faces is a sight to behold.

you: "have you heard that one of the planets is about to be destroyed?"
her (or him): "really? which one?"
you: "Uranus"
--------------------
you: "it would be great if you were my washing machine... i've got a dirty load that needs taking care of"
--------------------

you: "what's the difference between jelly and jam?"
her: "bla bla bla..."
you: "i can't jelly my penis up your §$%&/"

on a more serious note....

on second thought... nah...

a friendly cock-slapping works better, certainly leaves no unbroken ice

Careful, you get jailed for that these days...

[img] [/img]

A gentle complement in a nontl threatening way is a good start. Such as you has da epic wobblerz

Me " do i have to"

Her "yes"

I am not giving any more clues

TBH i doubt there is anything beyond formulaic crap. there w as a programme on Radio 4 explaining how pick up artists do it and it is largely about confidence and having a standard delivery and then relying on being yourself.

Apprently the opening line was something like
I am sorry and i done normally do this but i could help but notice you and there is something i really like about you its your { insert thing here nothing rude- hair clothes, smile etc.]. Whilst they are please with this compliment you then say you look kind of South america, european spanish whatever and ask if they are from there - they then feel obliged to answer and then you chat

There are websites dedicated to this shit and i forget the name they used
Seems really really disingenuous to me
I always assume nearly anything will do s an opening gambit and if they like you they will chat back.

For the more older woman who must know she's not what she once was - You must have been gorgeous when you were younger.

you: "it would be great if you were my washing machine... i've got a dirty load that needs taking care of"

This is gold.

alpin, going for the sublte approach then 😀

The one and only time I tried - I walked up to her and said 'I really don't know how to do chat up lines but I couldn't pass up the opportunity to speak to you'.

She looked the spit of
[img] [/img]

She said no because she had a boyfriend but she appeared genuinely flattered and I am sure she'd have gone for it if she was single. (Or so I like to think).

Does this work in Sainsbury's?

(stood infront of an empty chiller cabinet that had previously housed some Ben and Jerries)

Me: I'm ot sure what's more dissapointing, the series of events that lead to me wanting that icecream, or the fact there isn't any.

Her: It's alright, I've got some in the freezer, want to come over?

Guys, Guys, guys...it's not the words that matter, it's the delivery, the timing and the attitude...

watch and learn, watch and learn... 🙂

Background - Timing is key, be 5 mins behind her.

Rule 3 - We pursue that which retreats from us.

A gentle complement in a nontl threatening way is a good start. Such as you has da epic wobblerz

There are websites dedicated to this shit and i forget the name they used
Seems really really disingenuous to me

I was chatting to the girl in hobby craft at the weekend about how its almost impossible not to spell out rude words with the decoupage letters, I did think about rearranging the numbers to my phone number, but TBH I wasn't feeling the vibe

You guys can use that though

THEN slap her in the face with your cock, telling her it's ok, you'll be out in time for the birth.

Shit, you can get a girl pregnant like that 😯

I was stood on a plaform at Woking station recently. This girl came up and asked me the time. I looked around there were screens a clocks everywhere so I thought 'ay up' I said "it's business time" assuming everyone in world knows Flight of the Conchords. She said "what?" I nodded toward the big clock above us, she said "I have left my glasses at work, I can't see it." So I said "it's five to seven" then she walked off.

Is that a mirror in your knickers ? 'Cause I can see myself in 'em...
It worked as well*
*As long as call getting slapped across the face a success* 😕

The classic from HEBS.