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Arrived yesterday and did our normal thing of avoiding the 3.30pm check-in madness where everyone sits in the main car park gridlocked with engines running until they open the gate. People seem to have a bewilderingly high tolerance for sitting in a car not moving.. Anyway, the usual bellends in the usual cars were fulfilling most of the common stereotypes:
> Mr purple sline Audi man speeding right up to his lodge where his two kids were playing outside.
> Mr range rover sport pushing the little hatchback in front of him.
> Mr bottom spec diesel 1-series with illegal plates and dodgy aftermarket black wheels doing wheelspins in the gravel.
> Mr M-Sport 3 series leaving his car all night outside his lodge, getting a ticket, looking all angry/confused before speeding off the wrong way down the 1 way system to return his car to the main car park.
> Mr fully paid up member of the pops and bangs dickhead brigade flooring and lifting off in 1st gear repeatedly to make as much noise as possible while going 20mph in his Focus ST.
> And my personal favourite Mr I think I'm a cage fighter driving a pickup truck with barbarian written on it several times in massive writing who reversed up a steep and intricate incline narrowly avoiding rocks and trees and to get 10ft closer to his lodge for unloading.
My wife is sick to death of my shit patter regarding said bellends so thought I'd come on here and bore you lot with my dull account of blokes being dicks in cars. So, what car owner stereotypes have been fulfilled recently for you?
How’s your swingers holiday going?
They sound more like Center Parcs stéréotypes to me.
Ha ha - brilliant. Can picture them now.
My wife is sick to death of my shit patter
Perhaps she's been on Mumsnet and the trip is not quite what she was hoping for.
How many of them (I hope this doesn't include you!) have school age children taken out of school to get cheap er Centre Parcs prices in term time?
That annoys me far more than shit car antics 😉
Which one were you
Which one were you
Lexus driver wearing his driving gloves, white cotton cap and aviator shades while tutting at others.
You goes to Center Parcs, you takes your choice.
But cool story bro
The japanese mercedes, I wish!
How many of them (I hope this doesn’t include you!) have school age children taken out of school to get cheap er Centre Parcs prices in term time?
That annoys me far more than shit car antics 😉
What annoys you - how parents choose to treat their own children, or Center Parcs ripping you off at school holiday time?
@nickewen enjoyed that, very funny
Stereotypes do exist for a reason, whether confirmation bias, perceptual or otherwise, always interesting.
Especially interesting to leave the UK and work internationally for many years - the RoW view on the British stereotype was very revealing (and accurate!), as it was for the rest of the worlds nations. Funny stuff.
So, what car owner stereotypes have been fulfilled recently for you?
I listened to classic FM on the way home tonight.
What annoys you – how parents choose to treat their own children, or Center Parcs ripping you off at school holiday time?
Bit of both. Not that I ever want to go to CP 😉
As a teacher I dislike having to try and help little Jane or Jonny catch up what they missed when their parents take them out for a couple of weeks in term time.
Especially when it's invariably the kids who do zero homework, and who are taken out for spurious reasons on a regular basis.
As rants go , that’s a 9/10.
🙂
I love center Parcs, I wanted to hate it, but it's brilliant.
No traffic, awesome pool, no dogs, loads to do, good clean fun.
I'll be there with my 12 year old civic this year, wonder how the OP will classify me?.
I had massive reservations about Centre Parcs but it's actually ok for the same reasons Nobeer gives. It's easy with two young kids, just got to be careful on the first and last day while the cars are about.
Centreparcs, its the modern Butlins, what do you expect?
No traffic, awesome pool, no dogs, loads to do, good clean fun.
They allow dogs?
Good clean fun is how certain sites advertise trips to centre Parcs.
Perhaps she’s been on Mumsnet and the trip is not quite what she was hoping for.
👍
Nice summary OP. Sort of game I play in my head.
@nickewen good work...funny stuff
Though I have to agree with wot the teacher said (married to a teacher myself)
They allow dogs?
Aye, about a dozen at a time, and they have a walking area, so the rest of us don't have to be in the same area as them.
I’ll be there with my 12 year old civic this year,
Funny name for a kid but I suppose it is the 21st Century. She'll be able to play out with Abcde I expect.
Why are you at centre parks?
One of the upsides of having a dog I guess is that I will be unable to frequent these type of places and I’ll have to use a tent or rent a cottage. Damn they allow dogs!
LAT - To watch other people by the sounds of it.
Inbred - superb.
Damn they allow dogs!
They do yes but luckily they have special areas for miserable people to walk, so you shouldn’t see any dog haters.
6 .... not bad.
I wonder if there's a seventh ?
Not a dog hater at all, just get pissed off wi a lot the entitled ****s that own them.
No beer, don’t get caught watching people in the pool.
Drac, one of those keys is for the male box.
edit
Nickewen, very amusing assassinations and summary.
Been a few times and liked it, or at least the kids have so I have. Can’t say I bumped in to too many idiots so meh.
I thought this would be a “What lube for...” thread.
Disappointed that it’s not and that someone hasn’t suggested Putoline as the answer for all conditions.
1. Heat Putoline on a camping stove or cheap deep fat fryer
2. Apply and scream.
3...
Nick - very good 🙂
Like to think I don't fall into any of your stereotypical categories; I drive both an Audi and Merc - but not at same time.
As for Drac's bowl of keys - I don't see one with the either Drac or Mod on the fob so.....I'm out 😉
If you hate it that much why do you go? Done like whilst everyone else is enjoying hanging out with their kids, you are just wallowing in your judgemental dislike of everyone.
We’re off for our third trip to CP in April. First time around I too was surprised how much I enjoyed it. As has been said, no cars, kids free to wander in a different environment - as “London” kids mine love playing amongst the trees - and some different activities to do even if that’s just wallowing in the pool between coffees and beers. As my Nan used to say “a change is as good as a rest”.
We take our own bikes and booze and find everyone else quite pleasant and interactive in a chilled removed environment.
We like it too. But then, I figure as a Ford Galaxy driving middle aged man I’m pretty much target demographic!
'92 was the year we drove all the way to Newark couldn't find the place , the weekenders were the worst usually sales rep cars flouting the laws as they had work on the Monday. Everything was fairly new back then but other than the pool, the cycling or the kart track nearby it was ok too long a drive and two wasted days
Oasis the next year a wee bit better
Interesting regarding the no cars idea, we went to a mostly Dutch campsite in Germany last year and despite cars being allowed on site they were relatively infrequent sights and never caused any issues. Perhaps it says more about us as a nation than it does about the owners of certain cars.
Someone on here once described it as a magnet for aspiring middle managers with too many tattoos.
I always look forward to the early morning Dad walk on the last morning. Loads of men (myself included), trudging along in the pitch black at 7am (in December) to the car park to get the car back so you can get parked somewhere vaguely close to your lodge.
It's the little nods of acknowledgment and solidarity that make it special.
Interesting regarding the no cars idea, we went to a mostly Dutch campsite in Germany last year and despite cars being allowed on site they were relatively infrequent sights and never caused any issues. Perhaps it says more about us as a nation than it does about the owners of certain cars.
Yip, we did too, despite the place being full of folk who looked as if they'd never cycled before, there was no issues with cars and bikes the full week we were there. I think a lot of that is down to the fact that most folk parked their cars up and never felt the need to use them all week. At CP here, you could guarantee that folk in the lodges a bit further out, like a whole half mile away, would drive to the pool/centre if they could.
Top tip btw, for those that haven't been - arrive and park up at 10am, get a full day in the pool etc before the check in rush at 3, same again at the end, stay till 3pm on last day.
I'm assuming that the only people who go to centre Parcs have kids yeah? I mean it sounds utterly horrific, but what do they do outside school holidays?
tpbiker
Member
I’m assuming that the only people who go to centre Parcs have kids yeah?
You would think, but i have seen young couples making a terrible mistake!