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If they can’t recover it, if they’re both with the same bank, or both in the UK would they be quite so happy to write it off?
Not happy, but that's what they do. You'd be gobsmacked at the amount banks write off to fraud.
And, it's worth adding, 'hacking' of bank accounts, i.e. someone gaining online access to your account, is really rare and is something that it's relatively easy for banks to prevent/spot. Where the real fraud money goes is in Authorise Push Payments, where scammers get you to make the payment from your account. This is incredibly hard for banks to spot, as how can they determine payments you've been tricked into making from ones you're making that are legit. This is why you'll see loads of warning messages when you set up payments, especially to new payees.
I’ve been trying to figure this out recently as well whilst trying to sell a wardrobe on Facebook (stealth ad!).
Sounds like an open and shut case.
As everyone else says, once they’ve transferred money to your account they can only get it back if you want them to. But in this case, what’s the scam? Why is someone who is based nowhere near me desperate to pay full price for an item they’ve not seen and that their “cousin” will come collect. And why am I getting a dozen near identical messages from similar people?
Advance Fee Fraud perhaps, you'll need to pay some sort of fee to release the funds or cover insurance or some other bollocks, maybe the "cousin" has broken down on the M6 and needs petrol money. Or they'll pay by something readily reversible like Western Union. Fake payments, it's not hard to send a "you've been paid!" email. Etc, etc, and indeed, etc.
Western Union would be my guess.
Is there not two questions here?
Can the scam you by stealing your sort code and account number... Not really as the worst they can do is give you some money or set up a direct debit as it's guaranteed by the bank.
Can they try and scam you with direct payment as part of a wider scam... Yes.
Are you desperate for the money ? need an operation, pay the bills etc etc. Then dont bother.
Its not that it may or may not be a scam, its not that bank transfer is safe(ish) its you are unfamiliar with the entire process, and dont automatically know the ins and outs.
If it is a scam and through not knowing the finer details of such a transaction, you lose everything, and you also have no experience on how or who to contact to find out if you can claim money back or ever if you can claim money back.
Somewhere in the region of £500m is lost through bank transfer scams. Just that amount shows those committing them are savvy, and those losing out are not. You clearly fall into the 'not savvy' category.