Now that we're about to Kickoff the heavy-lifting we're going to require to assure a resilient methodology to ensure compliance with governance processes.
Admittedly one of my professional colleagues stood in front of a big stakeholder meeting of about 45 people and talked about "pushing down through the gloryhole". A colleague I was sitting next to and I took no notice of anything else said in this meeting for the next 10 minutes.
Oooh, can I contribute some therapist BS? My vastly-more-experienced-than-me psychiatry/psychology/therapy colleagues and I heard mention in a report about a 'proximal zone' last week. We were collectively [s]stumped[/s] 'curious' about this. Apparently it means, errr, "next to". 😀
More refreshingly, my boss remarked at the end of an email to me today: "oh, and stop reading your work emails at home". If i wasn't at home reading my work emails, at home, I could have hugged him. 😳
'drill down' is pretty tedious;
others refer to buildings as 'kit'; ("that's a really nice bit of kit"; i.e. its a large, valuable office building);
Also, but technically not BS are excessive use of words like 'focus', 'solutions' and 'customer facing'.
Don't really understand people who are on "annual leave" instead of holiday.
We also have building projects that need to wash their face and people who like to touch base.
Fortunately next week I'm going back to work at my old company, where no doubt I will hit the ground running
Our US clients are encouraging us to "reach out" to the press - FFS if we did, half of them would have us in court for sexual harassment, most of the other half would more than likely punch us, and the rest could open up a while new world of adventure.
It's great fun explaining that as we are based outside London, we were too far away to reach out so could we speak to them instead. 😀
Some of my 'favourites' that I've endured recently are:
"A suite of interventions designed to fit the R&D strategic initiative framework"
"I'm hoping we get a lot of traction so we are within shooting distance, because we need to bottom this out before we can land and move forward"
"Make endgame focus a standard"
"What are my underlying drivers and how do they play out?"
"Leveraging and operationalising to improve collaboration"
🙄
A lot of these examples don't seem to be BS Bingo; they're just handy shorthand phrases that convey an action or concept as a memorable image.
"I want somebody who can make an immediate contribution when they start this job, and who doesn't require additional training or takes a long time to familiarise themselves with the project"
OR
"I want someone who can hit the ground running"
If a phrase or word helps people communicate usefully it will survive and thrive. If it is redundant jargon, it will eventually die a natural death. Not really worth getting upset about!
Spoilsport.
tenfoot - MemberDon't really understand people who are on "annual leave" instead of holiday.
We tend to view those who use that phrase on their out of office reply as "TWUNTS"
On of my friends got into trouble for being factually accurate on his out of office reply on his email!
It was along these lines:
[i]"OK so you have sent me an email, but the thing is I'm not here for the next two weeks!
The fact of the matter is I'm probably somewhere in the Spain in the mountains on my motorbike tazzing about the twistys getting my knee down, how bloody brill is that eh?
So if you require someone with more than a couple of brain cells don't call Distribution give one of our trusty millers a ring TTFN"[/i]
Thing was he was doing just such a thing in the Picos mountains & Distribution couldn't find their ass in a bath 😀
'The only reason we dropped the ball is that we were spinning so many plates' - my boss, recently. I lol'ed.
We've got a particular business manager who is notorious for striding about the office, barking business speak into his phone. Recent gems include:
'I'm trying to build a road through the jungle, stop putting fences in my way'
'Lets just pour it into the sausage machine and see what comes out'
'We need to get heads round the table and zoom in on our resilience offering'
'Lets just pour it into the sausage machine and see what comes out'
Sausages, I'd expect.
Solutioneering makes my skin crawl in the same way big spiders do
Are we doing job descriptions as well ?
I like to tell people my remit is to provide a comprehensive suite of lifecycle management strategy support system solutions to mobile technical assets in the passenger mass transit sector.
