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Boris Johnson!
 

Boris Johnson!

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Worth noting they #wheresboris? has been trending on Twitter since Matt Handjobs press conference

He’s been hiding for weeks? He’s still hiding now.

He’s always been a ****ing coward


 
Posted : 28/04/2020 9:32 pm
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Hancock is the fall guy. He looks too much like the nice but dim sixth form prefect from a minor public school who has had an accidental Marty McFly moment and been fast forwarded twenty years into a job he was comically under prepared for.

The Young Hannibal Lecter aka Raab has got him lined up for some chianti and fava beans.

Meanwhile the blonde buffoon carries on, kidding himself he, Churchill II, will be able to stand up to the forces he has unleashed when the crunch comes.

But he won't and he can't. He is totally in hock to the shady backers and their laundered Russian cash. He is theirs. And so are we.


 
Posted : 28/04/2020 11:13 pm
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dannyh - you and others continue referring to shady backers, paymasters, dirty money etcetera.
For those of us - me, specifically - who don't buy into that conspiracy theory why don't you.....convince me - with facts.
To repeat the mantra of an old boss of mine - it's all about the 4 F's; First Find the ******* (first letter F) Facts.
Anything which cannot be supported by facts is, to quote a different boss, a bag of bollocks.


 
Posted : 28/04/2020 11:22 pm
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the Russia report cleared all those allegations up, which is why johnson released it like he said he would....

which is Johnsons problem, because he lies so often, you'd be a fool to trust him on literally anything


 
Posted : 28/04/2020 11:52 pm
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Ooh, the Russia report! Must have missed it; where can I find it?


 
Posted : 28/04/2020 11:54 pm
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Frank - look at who pays the bribes ( sorry consultancy fees, non exec directorships, payment for newspaper columns etc)


 
Posted : 29/04/2020 8:43 am
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Ooh, the Russia report! Must have missed it; where can I find it?

In a pile of ashes in the back garden of Number Ten. That is never going to see the light of day and you know it. If it was 'clean' it would have been released long ago to strains of Land of Hope and Glory.

which is Johnsons problem, because he lies so often, you’d be a fool to trust him on literally anything

But basically this. Carry on doing the credulous 'man on the Clapham omnibus' routine if it makes you feel safe.

With a liar and opportunist like Johnson you have to start looking at what he isn't saying or doing because his bluster is just that, bluster.


 
Posted : 29/04/2020 9:04 am
 kilo
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A successful diminution of the role of questioning journalism.

One of those ideas that sounds egalitarian (to many) while simultaneously reducing scrutiny and punishing the press. Classic Dom.

It's not like you can doorstep ministers any more - these pressers are the only way to put one on the spot and stop them hiding behind their comms teams.


 
Posted : 29/04/2020 9:26 am
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Frank – look at who pays the bribes ( sorry consultancy fees, non exec directorships, payment for newspaper columns etc)

As they say, Just follow the money 🙂

When you’ve got the facts it’s usually too late.


 
Posted : 29/04/2020 9:28 am
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In a pile of ashes in the back garden of Number Ten. That is never going to see the light of day and you know it. If it was ‘clean’ it would have been released long ago to strains of Land of Hope and Glory.

Very much this.

I'd be astonished if the Russia report contained a proper, dead cert smoking gun, but the very fact that it hasn't been released - and wasn't released ahead of the last election when all those involved seemed to think it should have been, makes me assume it isn't favourable to the government.


 
Posted : 29/04/2020 9:33 am
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When you’ve got the facts it’s usually too late.

Fundamentally that is what all frauds and cons depend on.


 
Posted : 29/04/2020 10:08 am
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What do we reckon the chances of Joris 'I'm back!!' Bohnson actually turning up to face Kier Starmer at PMQ's today then?

Slim?

non-existent?

We're going to get Patrick Bateman again, aren't we? While Joris carries on hiding


 
Posted : 29/04/2020 10:46 am
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The news is just anouncing that his other half has given birth to Johnson offspring number 5? 6? Does anybody know? Does he even know?

So that'll be back off to the country retreat for a few weeks paternity leave


 
Posted : 29/04/2020 11:01 am
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So the ship is rudderless for another two weeks. Great.


 
Posted : 29/04/2020 11:07 am
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Dominic Cummings is certainly earning his pieces of silver.


 
Posted : 29/04/2020 11:08 am
 mehr
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I know he had no idea that another kid would be born during a global pandemic but, **** me he's politically bulletproof


 
Posted : 29/04/2020 11:25 am
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If he disappears on paternity for a fortnight and leaves Raab to make zero decisions again, I feel Sturgeon and Drakeford will use that time to diverge on lockdown exit strategy. By doing it.


 
Posted : 29/04/2020 11:29 am
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Does anyone want to figure out just how much time he's actually spent doing the job since the pandemic started? I'd wager a guess at less than 50% of his time has been in the job let alone actually doing something! Paternity won't be long enough to let everything settle out without him doing anything so what is he going to come up with next to get out of any responsibility for the rest of the year? Second infection?


 
Posted : 29/04/2020 11:32 am
 AD
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Oh well - it might mean Russia report gets published today or tomorrow :). Papers will be spaffing all over another scion of the Johnson dynasty.


 
Posted : 29/04/2020 11:43 am
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I know he had no idea that another kid would be born during a global pandemic but, **** me he’s politically bulletproof

Combination of priveleged upbringing, opportunism, luck, bullshit, outright lying, skillful handling by his masters and a cynical realisation by them that his 'public' are largely thick or disinterested and have a strong undercurrent of xenophobia and racism.

He's like Mr Toad meets Arthur Daley meets Donald Trump.


 
Posted : 29/04/2020 11:44 am
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His 'contribution' as Prime Minister in 2020 amounts to going on holiday, contracting Coronavirus through his own stupidity, then swanning off on paternity leave?

Brilliant! When Jeremy Corbyn referred to him as a 'Part-time Prime Minister' I think he was being a bit generous. He's actually the Completely Absent Prime Minister.

Even before all this his premiership always had an atmosphere of 'the dog ate my homework, sir' about it

The bone idle, over-privileged ****!


 
Posted : 29/04/2020 11:45 am
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Unbelievable, how dare he!!
Off work for 3 weeks due the virus - slacker!!
Now off on paternity leave for 2 weeks - shameful!!

Oh, hang on, there has been no mention in the press, that i can find, of him stating that he's about to take 2 weeks off to be with his partner and baby (like you and i would most likely want to do).

Some people on here are shameless, I'm not a Boris fanboy, but give the guy a break instead of creating headlines that have no substance.


 
Posted : 29/04/2020 11:56 am
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Give the guy a break?? Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson has had breaks all his life so let's not upset the apple cart now?

If Boris works, and I mean actually undertakes the role of Prime Minister in the next couple of weeks then he can have a small break, but until then he has to earn his right not to be called out for being a work shy nodding dog (that's as close to Churchill that he'll ever get).


 
Posted : 29/04/2020 12:07 pm
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FWIW I doubt he'll go on paternity leave now. It is much more Churchillian image if 'pushes on regardless in Britain's hour of need'.

The point being made above is not that having his sixth, seventh, eighth (who knows) child will give him two weeks off, but that the Daily Heil can go all 'celebratory mugs and teatowels' and make him the darling of the blue rinsed forelock tuggers. Again.

But giving him a 'break'?

**** off!


 
Posted : 29/04/2020 12:14 pm
 AD
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Give Boris a break. No, sorry - I don't think so.

Lying gobshites don't 'deserve a break'.

As to going on paternity - it isn't like he has had much to do with his other random offspring so I don't actually expect him to take any time off. As dannyh says - Boris will pull the 'selfless hero pushing on regardless' bullshit.


 
Posted : 29/04/2020 12:23 pm
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And if he is back at work what skills, abilities and talent will he bring to the table? Nothing positive that I can think of.


 
Posted : 29/04/2020 12:24 pm
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And if he is back at work what skills, abilities and talent will he bring to the table? Nothing positive that I can think of.

Keeping up appearances, dear boy, keeping up appearances.

"fac fortia et patere"

They love a bit of cod Latin out in the Shires, you know....


 
Posted : 29/04/2020 12:32 pm
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Give Boris a break?

For years he's schemed and lied and backstabbed his way to the top, considering it his birthright.

Since he got there, he's treated it like some type of ceremonial role, like he's the queen and all he has to do is turn up and wave occasionally

He can **** right off!


 
Posted : 29/04/2020 12:43 pm
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Alliteration. That's what Boris can bring to the table. There's simply not a situation he can't alliterate himself out of.

His ability to follow one word after the other, each beginning with the same letter, or his ability to match syllables in consecutive words is simply unparalleled, It turns otherwise pretty useless journalists into gibbering wrecks and holds the country enthralled.

His ability to alliterate reminds me of the Monty python 'most deadly joke in the world' sketch.

Although in this instance, Boris is only the second most deadly joke in the world.


 
Posted : 29/04/2020 1:25 pm
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"Boris Johnson has previously indicated he will take paternity leave but it is not known if his plans have changed, in light of the coronavirus emergency."

So we don't know for sure one way or the other

Source:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-52469079

but give the guy a break

Give him a break, he'll take a mile. He can **** off.


 
Posted : 29/04/2020 2:11 pm
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I'm not really one for political conspiracy theories: but it really is quite remarkable how he's managed to co -inside his return to the daily briefing just as he feels it's time to announce that we've past peak infection...


 
Posted : 01/05/2020 8:43 am
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He'll not take paternity leave. Because, you know, that'd mean he'd have to take a little time with his offspring. Not something he's known for.


 
Posted : 01/05/2020 8:49 am
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He's had a good number of holidays (in addition to cv and black eye absence) since entering No 10 and he's stated that he doesn't work at weekends. He seems to think if he surrounds himself with these 'clever chaps' from the Brexit campaign (who've never been elected or accountable) then they will come up with 'radical' (in contrast to the rest of the world) and cheap solutions to major problems (even if it does cost lives). They then use obfuscation and deceit to convince the electorate they'v done/doing a great job and the rest of the world is looking to us (even though international comparisons are 'very, very difficult').
The fascinating thing is people believe it, Starmer is biting like a dead sheep and the rest of the world looks on in horror.


 
Posted : 01/05/2020 9:15 am
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It really is as blatant as "the others do the 'bad' news and Big Bouncy Brilliant Boris does the 'good' news".

It is to the eternal shame of our standing in the world that Poundshop Trumpism can take such a hold here.

Music Hall meets Standup meets far right wing populism. ****ing hell.


 
Posted : 01/05/2020 9:35 am
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Oh nooooooo!

I've just realised......

There will be some kind of lockdown lifting to coincide with the 'VE' bank holiday next friday.

It really is going to be that blatant, isn't it?

"75 years since we got the war 'done' and now we've beaten the coronavirus..... parump, parump, parumpety boom-tish".

With Blohard wrapped in the Union Jack and Spitfires overhead.

They're going to, aren't they?


 
Posted : 01/05/2020 7:44 pm
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Oh, dear god, you may be right!


 
Posted : 01/05/2020 7:51 pm
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Posted : 01/05/2020 8:01 pm
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V.V. day. Heard it here first!


 
Posted : 01/05/2020 8:19 pm
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Parental Leave? That’s what he does isn’t it? Becomes a parent. Then leaves.


 
Posted : 01/05/2020 8:22 pm
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Oh nooooooo!

I’ve just realised……

There will be some kind of lockdown lifting to coincide with the ‘VE’ bank holiday next friday.

It really is going to be that blatant, isn’t it?

“75 years since we got the war ‘done’ and now we’ve beaten the coronavirus….. parump, parump, parumpety boom-tish”.

With Blohard wrapped in the Union Jack and Spitfires overhead.

They’re going to, aren’t they?

Can't they drag it out to V.J day?


 
Posted : 01/05/2020 8:25 pm
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There will be some kind of lockdown lifting to coincide with the ‘VE’ bank holiday next friday.

That leaves a week to organise a last ditch attempt at an old fashioned ww2 bombing campaign to rid us of the ****er


 
Posted : 01/05/2020 9:21 pm
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Some interesting parallels drawn in the Guardian. Hadn't realised quite how close we have been before

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2020/may/01/cavalier-tory-leader-botched-pandemic-response-1957


 
Posted : 01/05/2020 10:05 pm
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Will Law Nick Johnson?

That was well thought out.


 
Posted : 02/05/2020 4:52 pm
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Like what you’ve done there ^


 
Posted : 02/05/2020 4:55 pm
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