Sprinkle talc on your new tyres to lubricate the rubber and allow you to fit them with your thumbs.
Use hand sanitizer gel containing isopropyl alcohol to remove ink marks from leather.
To clean the mould from your camel back hose, tie a knot in the middle of a long piece of string, poke the end of the string into the hose, then run water from a tap down the hose, this will draw the string through the hose. Then you just need to pull the knot back an for the an hey presto no more hose mould!
Use muck off (or similar) on your tyre beads when seating tibeless tyres. Washing up liquid is good, but muck off is already in the shed.
Stuff wet shoes with napies to dry them out.
To remove spark plugs just put the HT lead back on shirley?
Little finger downward flick to stop your pint sticking to the beermat.
Twist and lift, man, twist and lift.
When drilling hole in the wall, stick a folded post-it note just below where you're drilling the hole. Catches the dust nicely.
not nappies, they are full of chemicals, newspaper is fine
Don't touch your MIL inappropriately
News paper and window cleaning changes when they changed the printing technology in the '80s. Before that it worked but since they invented colour in newspaper they have changed the chemicals and all you are doing ins smearing dirty paper over your windows
To fold work trousers, hold at the waist take the first loops either side of the fly and put together = folded along the crease. Grab bottoms and fold in half (or bung on hanger)
When cooking pasta bring it to the boil, turn off the heat, leave lie on, pasta will be ready in 10-11 minutes.
*most* cars have an arrow next to the fuel gauge symbol on the dial to indicate which side the fuel filler flap is...
I thought that on most cars the little fuel pump image indicated the filled cap side.
Little finger downward flick to stop your pint sticking to the beermat.
Lift one side of the glass a split second before the other. Aka tilt press lift.
My grandad taught me "if you can't get all the scratches out, at least get them all going in the same direction". Same applies for brush marks, allsorts. Very handy.
If you have an Audi or a BMW using your indicators stops people from crashing into you..
In the same way that cyclists in London stop at red lights and signal when they turn?
[quote=langylad ]Pillow over the face made me spit my cake out
Doesn't that make a mess on the pillow?
not nappies, they are full of chemicals, newspaper is fine
That's why it works better (polyacrylamide).
Not having 'relations' with your wife's sister will save you thousands in legal and other costs not to mention distress.
Quickest way to get at frozen ice cream - microwave it for 30s with a teaspoon pushed into the top.
bluehelmet - Member
Not having 'relations' with your wife's sister will save you thousands in legal and other costs not to mention distress - [b][i]if you get caught[/i][/b]
FTFY
When a 16 stone London fighter comes at you, keep your guard up. It might stop you from being knocked out.
Never shove your granny when she's shaving
To remove spark plugs just put the HT lead back on shirley?
I missed half the story, doh!
Also, stick them in a bit of hose to put them back, gives you enough purchase to catch a thread but will slip before you cross thread it
A hot air gun 'might' remove the bird poo damage on your cars paintwork.
Boiled linseed oil makes faded black exterior plastic car trim look like new.
Lasts for a while too.
The Swirl
If you have any marks on natural wood furniture. Give it a rub with a walnut of Brazil nut to hide them.
If your bare metal kitchen surfaces look all streaky after you clean them and are picking up marks or fingerprints then rub on a bit of baby oil.
Doesn't need much, just a splash and rub it around with a paper towel.
Works great on hobs, cooker hoods etc and also makes them easier to clean.
Any tips on how to easily strip the grease from a kitchen extractor fan unit?
Use a can of car/bike brake disc cleaner and spray it into the fan opening/blades, leave it to evaporate before you switch on otherwise you may inadvertently turn a 4" extraction fan into a diy jet engine.
EDIT : this [i]may[/i] work or it may be a very stupid idea - give it a try and post back
@Lazgoat - have a chip pan fire. It probably won't burn the grease off your Smegs but you'll be too busy cleaning up that mess to care anymore.
Also, can't believe noone has said "Don't eat the yellow snow".
Sheesh, standards are slipping.
Avoid getting prosecuted for using your phone while driving. Simply pop your mobile inside a large shell and the police will think you are listening to the sea.
Rolling shirts etc when packing reduces the need for ironing at the other end
If you ever set yourself on fire, make sure you don't catch sight of yourself in a mirror as you're likely to panic
Put a hole in the bead of your tubeless tyre? Poke a rubber band through it & let stans work it's magic.
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Get your mate to place a bid on your eBay items instead of paying eBay for a reserve price.
edit
To remove water marks on wood furniture rub mayonnaise on the area whilst blowing hot air from hair drier
one for the househusbands (spoiler alert if you already use this)
if you need to go out for a ride - pull some furniture out into the middle of the room to make it look like cleaning is a monumental task and leave the vacuum cleaner adjacent and plugged in - if challenged say one of the kids left their homework behind and you had to take it to school urgently
ps and if you do have to go to IKEA it's best taken from the rear
edit and of course this tip is available to all genders
Increase ad revenues for your website by posting hyperbolic click-bait advice on things any child should be able to figure out.
[url= http://www.slate.com/blogs/browbeat/2014/06/09/ziplock_bag_tricks_how_to_get_the_air_out_of_plastic_baggies_for_better.html ]Ziplock bag trick that might change your life[/url]
Cougar - Moderator
Store canned goods like baked beans, spaghetti, chopped veg and so on upside-down. That way when you open one and shake it out the contents all come out in one go rather than you having to spend a fortnight trying to retrieve the last few beans clinging tenaciously to the bottom of the tin.
Or turn canned goods upside down before opening
But but most tins are asymmetric now so you can't get the opener on the bottom.
I like the unglazed cup ring/knife sharper tip. Might help when I'm out murdering in da hood. 😉
Ooo, ooo. I've remembered one. When out on yer boik, always take a bucket of water along to ease finding punctures... (©Viz 1982).
Pretend you are American and vastly increase the value of your stuff, by walking up to your garage door, throwing it up, and screaming 'woo, yeah! Wow!' As a crowd of rednecks look on...
