[url= http://www.irishcentral.com/news/news_from_ireland/Woman-in-sumo-wrestler-suit-assaults-ex-girlfriend-after-waving-at-man-dressed-as-Snickers-bar-97262439.html ]Woman in sumo wrestler suit assaults ex-girlfriend after waving at man dressed as Snickers bar[/url]
[url= http://juannavarro.wordpress.com/2007/08/27/man-embarassed-by-small-penis-secretly-gets-brother-to-sleep-w-girlfriend/ ]man-embarassed-by-small-penis-secretly-gets-brother-to-sleep-with -girlfriend [/url]
😆
The Times, 1957.
"Heavy Fog In Channel - Continent Cut Off"
SuperCaleyGoBallisticCelticAreAtrocious
Back page sports headline from a number of years ago when a top-flight Scottish team were knocked out of a cup competition (again) by a lower league outfit, in this case Inverness Caledonian Thistle.
For what it's worth, I am a Celtic fan, and I did laugh at that headline. It was genius, of sorts.
There was a wee local paper in Glasgow which during the Monica Lewinski debacle ran the headline "Clinton Accused of Shirtlifting" a story of a guy called Bill Clinton from Pollokshields who was standing trial for stealing two shirts and a jacket from a charity shop.
[url= http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/germany/7830524/German-throws-puppy-at-Hells-Angels-bikers-then-flees-on-bulldozer.html ]German throws puppy at Hells Angels bikers then flees on bulldozer
[/url]
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from my local rag
they ran a story the next week about her neighbour confessing to feeding the beast corn beef sandwiches 😆
"Freddie Starr ate my hampster"
[url= http://www.theregister.co.uk/2010/07/01/campbell_trial/ ]Naomi Campbell to appear in war crimes trial[/url]
Both Woody2000s and Yoss's just caused a keyboard/coffee incident...!
Queen at Knebworth, 1986.
Oh......
TWO SEPERATE HEADLINES ON SAME FRONT PAGE-
ARMS FLOWN TO NIGERIA
TRAVEL TO FRANCE ON LAST LEGS
[url= http://soccernet.espn.go.com/news/story?id=270580&cc=3888 ]Young Boys ****dorf Erection Woe[/url]
[url= 
]link to nsfw headline[/url]
'Sniper kills another cat'
'Man found dead'
both Falmouth Packet 2007
Yesterday's "front page" post was teh funneh.
'Gone Denver'
The Sun when John Denver's plane went down.
Who is John Denver?
[i]Who is John Denver?[/i]
A dead singer. Drug overdose I think.
Sunday Sport reporting the death of fashion designer Gianni Versace who was shot dead...
"Shoots you Sir"
Redskins Squeeze Out Browns - NFL
When Michael Foot became chairperson or something of CND:
Foot heads arms body
And another one last year, when Ryanair mooted the idea of customers being charged to use the bogs during flights:
Ryanair: Slashes Priced
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BBC this week: [url= http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/highlands_and_islands/10445344.stm ]No rain puts Eigg on toast watch[/url]
"Crematorium on fire"
[url= http://www.theargus.co.uk/news/8252181.Crematorium_on_fire/ ]http://www.theargus.co.uk/news/8252181.Crematorium_on_fire/[/url]
let's hope no one gets badly burnt...
Truly some brilliant ones here. The only one I can add is:
"Dyke to head BBC"
At the time I didn't think that sexual orientation was particularly relevant in terms of being qualified for the role of Director General of the BBC. Now I am not so sure....
I think beanum wins.
"Crematorium on fire"http://www.theargus.co.uk/news/8252181.Crematorium_on_fire/
let's hope no one gets badly burnt...
Aye I've been to similar at our the local crem. the "Stop" went back as controlled burning.
From a few years ago, when Michael Jackson edged out Boyzone for some sort of music award:
"[i]Boyzone Beaten Off by Jacko[/i]" 😯
IIRC, it was a headline on the Evening Standard website & was posted here on STW - before being rapidly removed from the E.S. site 😆
The day after the Twin Towers attacks, 9/11 .... Pretty sure the Daily Sport ran the headline 'Lorraine kelly Naked' .... Brill 😀
[i]Who is John Denver?[/i]A dead singer. Drug overdose I think.
No. He lost control of a light aircraft.
Queen in Scrap at Palace
A footballer called Queen had a fight during a match at Crystal Palace.
The best ever :
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From the Wanstead Guardian
"WANSTEAD: Britain's Got Talent star Susan Boyle's cat takes up residence with pensioner"
Details [url= http://www.guardian-series.co.uk/news/4997529.WANSTEAD__Britain_s_Got_Talent_star_s_cat_takes_up_residence/ ]here[/url]
Dastardly.
Love some of those.
Although it's not in the same class - the one I'm most proud of writing was on a story about a biography claiming that Jimi Hendrix had pretended to be sexually attracted to his male bunkmate in order to get out of the army.
"Excuse me while I kiss this guy"
The best I managed in my brief career as a sports sub-editor was when Rangers' owner David Murray was moved to warn the Dutch FA against an approach for the club's then manager Dick Advocaat.:
HANDS OFF DICK, MURRAY TELLS DUTCH
Probably subliminally inspired by the Sun's memorable take on Graeme Souness signing West Ham full-back Julian Dicks for Liverpool:
SOUNESS GRABS DICKS
very funny!
Winchester and Mid Hants Observer (I think.. sometime back in 2005):
In response to a planning enquiry over a new mobile phone mast...
"New Erection Sparks Mast-Debate"
[url= http://www.thisiskent.co.uk/news/Seagull-flies-cat-beak/article-1124971-detail/article.html ]Seagull flies off with cat in beak[/url]
As mentioned on the Radio 4 Now Show last year.
Having seen this on another forum a while back, I tried googling it and found out it was an interweb hoax, and not a parting gift from a chief sub working his notice. Gutted! 😥
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LOL!!!!!!
Some of you may have missed this one, from last year I think...
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Explanation of how it happened [url= http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/mediamonkeyblog/2009/sep/01/express-ant-dec-headline-error ]here[/url].
"Jumping Jack Flash, It's A Gas Gas Gas Explosion"
I think it was in The Sun, a story about Ronnie Wood's yacht being sent up in flames by a onboard gas cylinder.
Although I don't remember the details so well, I distinctly remember covering the pub's copy of the paper with a sprayed mouthful of Guinness.
A few years ago, the street sellers of the Newcastle Evening Chronicle were often to be heard shouting "chronicle" in various guttural, incoherent ways at regular intervals. They would range from what sounded like an after-dinner belch to the infamous "Ronny Gill".
One day a friend of mine was walking through town and happened to look across at one of the sellers, who was wearing the typical look of deep disinterest and general misery. Without ever cracking his wretched facade, and in the same flat, bored tone that he and his colleagues were synonymous with, the guy shouted, "man kicked to death by one-legged chicken".
