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Just me, Dawn and the kids this year. Will be absolutely fantastic.
Emma82 - creating fantasies for sad middle-aged gits since logging onto STW
Middle aged you say? Damn, i thought you were all 20 something studs? No pics I'm afraid, imagination is a powerful thing, just use that 😀
lol reading this... makes me glad my divorce came through a couple of weeks ago 😉
Merry Christmas!!!!
Emma - i don't think i've EVER been a 20-something hunk! Admittedly i thought i was rather cool about then but history seems to record otherwise... 😳
EDIT: MsMD tells me i was an arrogant t**t - seems like little has changed!
😀
You have no idea how close that is to the truth!
Adam, thats so funny and yet so sad .
Having ended all contact with my mother earlier this year because she has been nothing but a negative influence on me and my self esteem, I am spending Christmas doing what the friking hell I like with my tolerable at present and increasingly pleasant as he gets older, teenage son and my lovely friends. I have a choice of Christmas dinner which includes salmon, chicken or spaghetti bolognaise, depending on what I feel like making after a 4 hour ride in the hills, if my recently healed-up (from chest infection) lungs allow it.
Got a game of Risk laid out on the coffee table, a glass of wine, some nibbles and a few pressies for the morning in keeping with the season.
Bliss 🙂
Makes a change from the wailing of the martyr who won't let anyone help them from the kitchen and the relentless criticism of my every breath and gesture of yesteryear... I may be able to rescue my lovely father from her clutches sometime.
Interesting I'm full of Christmas cheer-goodwill to all! However I'm going to visit the in laws post boxing day.it will be the first time for 3 years. I've managed a loads excuses, including bike rides, but now need to MTFU and meet a bunch of people who are consistently rude to the people I love and expect usto look after their kids.....joy!
Just me, Dawn and the kids this year. Will be absolutely fantastic.
Not interested, this is a rant thread.
Quality quote of the day from MIL's boyfriend was heard about 1pm. 'This time last year it was Christmas day.' WTF?
Meanwhile over at Retired-Britain.co.uk..
"Good evening all. Just thought i would drop by and let you all know how Edward and i are getting on at Ruperts (our son) over the xmas period. I dont know where to start. It is near impossible. He attempted to cook dinner earlier and insisted on no help at all. This clearly upset him when i finally managed to squeeze by after half a dozen attempts to sort the gravy out (Less Bisto-More Saxa! Heavens,the poor soul never listened to a word i said)
An hour after eating,he went to the kitchen,filled the basin and stormed over as i was reading the Daily Mail. He rolled his eyes (45 years of age - fast approaching 12) grabbed my unwashed plate and dropped it into the sink. If he carried on like this with my Royal Albert he wouldnt know what had hit him.. let me tell you. He returned for Edwards plate and muttered something about "Daily Mail and Guardians" I asked him what he had just said to which he replied "get a hearing aid" The cheek of it. I knew exactly WHO he was talking about. Only for this Guardian he wouldnt be where he is today.
He then stomped off upstairs to get ready for a bike ride. A bike ride in the darkness? Yes,he chooses to ride a mountain cycle after dark. He tells us he needs to ride it after eating or he wont sleep well. I offered him some Diphenhydramine Hydrochloride to help him sleep but Oh No,drugs of any description could hinder his "racing career". Bloody fool.
After offering him what is best at least five times.. he loses patience ever so quickly. He never used to be this way. It frightens and saddens us both.
After the bicycle ride he then stuffs the washing machine full of unrinsed muddy clothes. One would ask if i had dropped him at birth and that IS quite possible. My mind fails me. At this point i try to pull the clothes back out before he stops me in my tracks. The look in his eyes said it all. We always thought he had a drug problem and these concoctions he drinks on the bike worry us. I honestly thought he was going to crack at this point. He gets so wound up over the smallest of things that its beginning to worry us.
Thank the lord we are only here until the 2nd of Jan!
Anyone else care to share experiences of their children after retirement? Please do get in touch. We would appreciate to hear from you.
Yours Gratefully
Hilda & Edward"
Welllll,you never know.
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And breathe.
Think of mental image of Emma82's 'simply amazing breasts'
And relax.
Someone must have had a collective word round my inlaws after last years disaster which caused me to almost have a complete breakdown on the 28th. Everyones being much less of an a'hole and actually taking time for me, the wife and the dog rather than pretending we're not here.
It may also be something to do with the skinful of wine i had last night. Either way its only 2days for us this year rather than the customary 4or5 so thats a boon. And i got Senna on bluray so dogberts a happy pup this year
After calling home this morning and listening to the near hysteria in my wifes voice at having to put up with her poisonous parents, my first thought is why oh why do you put yourself through this, second thank the Jurassic that I am not there (though if I were they sure wouldnt be) and third maybe I could get JojoA1 to have a quiet word for me.......
At least the boys are delighted with what they recieved
Argh.
Mother is ill. She must be as she switched from normal cigarettes to Menthol ones.
I work in the family business and Father didn't pay me properly for December, to do with the tax man so to speak, but still managed to employ a Friend for a week.
Seeing them on Boxing day. There will be fireworks.
*puts name down on list to see Em's amazing breasts*
just back from mine, just going to hers for left overs. gf's mum is getting better, i'll give her that, but the whole lot of them are unpleasant. her 2 grans are particularly haggish. Oh well, a night of badly disguised remarks about how nice the previous boyfriend was, and how such and such's daughter is getting married...
at least the drink keeps coming.
I intend to continue as my parents have for many years.
A quiet, calm gathering free from stupid stress and freeeloading visitors.
Peace to all!
No!
I DO NOT WANT TO PLAU FEKKING TRIVIAL PERSUIT NOW OR EVER AGAIN IN MY WHOLE ENTITE LIFE. IT'S TEDIOUS AND CRAP AND ID RATHER SCOOP OOT MY EYEBALLS WITH A RUSTY SHOE HORN
Martinxyz has it in one. Some of you sound like you have real problems with family members who are either unpleasant or mentally ill, but all of you moaning about the 'constant wittering' etc need to regard thyself.
Old people repeat themselves and often struggle with changes to routine. If your elderly parents are 'wittering on' maybe they are desperate to have a conversation rather than be ignored?
Happy Christmas.
Went to my sisters yesterday, She's fine until the vino takes over and she starts spouting utter $h!te and agreeing with everything my frikkin mother has to say (she was there too, along with my 16yr old brother & father).
My mum seems to enter self defence mode and no matter what tosh comes out of my brothers mouth - he's 18yrs younger than me - he's simply better and far more eloquent/intelligent/simply awesome than me, he happened to say how his MacBook blew up and it could've killed him, especially as he was in a laminate floor with no socks on!!
And my dad with his "new" DSLR was like a bloody tourist, taking photos of everything non-stop for 5 hours, not that any of them actually have the subject in the frame or anything.
Today we're at the out-laws, it's possibly hotter than the sun the bloody decrepit dog keeps walking into me (I hate dogs) and begging for food. All the veg is overlooked, the sacred turkey is fine but that's about it and to top it all off we're back here again tomorrow as the missus' 84 yr old gran can no longer put together her miserly feast of crap left-overs.
Oh deep joy
along with my 16yr old brother & father).
Wow. 😉
Went to my sisters yesterday, She's fine until the vino takes over and she starts spouting utter $h!te and agreeing with everything my frikkin mother has to say (she was there too, along with my 16yr old brother & father).My mum seems to enter self defence mode and no matter what tosh comes out of my brothers mouth - he's 18yrs younger than me - he's simply better and far more eloquent/intelligent/simply awesome than me, he happened to say how his MacBook blew up and it could've killed him, especially as he was in a laminate floor with no socks on!!
And my dad with his "new" DSLR was like a bloody tourist, taking photos of everything non-stop for 5 hours, not that any of them actually have the subject in the frame or anything.
Today we're at the out-laws, it's possibly hotter than the sun the bloody decrepit dog keeps walking into me (I hate dogs) and begging for food. All the veg is overlooked, the sacred turkey is fine but that's about it and to top it all off we're back here again tomorrow as the missus' 84 yr old gran can no longer put together her miserly feast of crap left-overs.
Oh deep joy
This is exactly why I love the solo Christmas.
[img] http://www.smileys4me.com/getsmiley.php?show=2143 [/img]
I did once rather annoy a work mate, when he asked me if I was looking forward to Christmas this year I said "nope, it's just an excuse to sit in a room with people you don't really like or see very often and pretend to get along"
aye,the first few xmases solo feel a bit strange,then you forget all the indoctrination,and actually enjoy living your own life.
That's the last time I'm cooking Xmas dinner, next year I'll be out on the bike on my own.
Bloomin' brother of mine didn't even get me an Xmas pressie. Er, s'cuse me, I've done all the shopping and done all the cooking. Don't forget I have a busted shoulder and another ailment.
Families never fail to disappoint.
To be honest, mine would have been ok if it was JUST people I was related to. My sister has been travelling a while, she's only just got back, my Dad and I have not seen eye to eye for years but we're getting on much better now. It would have all been ok but...
Well, my Dad's new wife is one of those people who insists on everyone having fun together and joining in in things. And unbenknown to me when I woke up this morning at my Dad's house, he'd also invited his mate (who is an arrogant bigot and totally self absorbed) and wife along, and his wife's Mother (who bless her is at least pretty quiet) and man friend... So staying well clear, as quite frankly being forced to sit in a room with my Dad's friend banging on about the "youth of today" etc. (FFS, I'm 31, I'm considered an old man these days yet it still really grates on me) and just generally being massively self important, and my Dad's wife insisting everyone joins in with ridiculous games such as charades... SOD THAT!
Honestly, for the first time in years I was looking forward to spending Christmas with some family members... That got ruined inside the space of a minute at about midday today when I found out everyone else coming and the consequences of it... The only Christmasses I've ever enjoyed as an adult have been when I've been with either of my 2 serious ex GF's, as to be fair to them, both had such lovely welcoming families. Either of which I would have been happy to end up married to and have ended up with bloody lovely (if slightly disfunctional, but then that's always the case) In Laws... But it wasn't to be.
Next year party round mine... All single people welcome! 😉
I'm sat quietly in the living room avoiding my loves-to-vent-her-righteous-indignation-at-full-volume sister. Her fella and I are hiding out with a couple of white russians. It's very peaceful in here...
Merry whatsits, everyone. 🙂
Aw no no no! I wasnt having a go at anyone here.. Just a few thoughts running through my head on the way a lot of parents would feel about their kids after the xmas/new year. We will all head this way later in life.. some more so than others. Not all though, theres some seriously clued up folk ive come across in the past heading for 85-90 years of age and they talk like they were 45-50. Quite amazing. Oh,and with hearing of a teenager to boot!
I could relate to the driving along in the car moment where they read road signs and shops signs.. haha. Although i remember that as a kid.When my folks werent much older than what i am today. Ugh!
surrounded by zulus- your other half is called Dawn?
Zulu Dawn?
Really?
Steveb you from Norfolk? 😀
ScottChegg - She is indeed called Dawn. Or as I prefer to call her - Sunrise.
Was getting annoyed when I had in laws coming into the kitchen telling me how to cook, that my timing is off etc. things were on the up though when asking mother in law what she used to have when living in chile - apparently she was quite partial to a spit roast. Nearly spat my bacon and sprouts all over her!
Its so refreshing all this christmas spirit and hate, for the festive day, its surprising their hasnt been a thread "what blunt instrument to injure your relatives with on christmas day".
mother wakes us by phoning to wish us a happy christmas.
"I phoned early as I might not be here next year. I'm 90 you know..."
Thanks, mum for the cheery start.
Sorry to buck the trend, but just got back from my mum and dad's after a brilliant Christmas dinner.
We took the kids for a walk on the beach this morning then drove 15 minutes to the PUs' place for prawn cocktail, turkey, christmas pud and trifle.
The only disappointments of the day were that the christmas pud wouldn't catch fire properly and that my 6 year old was far too competent at constructing the Lego Hogwarts to need as much help as I would have liked to have given, so I was forced to drink slightly too much and fall asleep on the sofa instead.
Kids now in bath playing with some whistles that they got that you can fill up with water to different levels to change the pitch - but they'll be in bed soon - lovely.
mother wakes us by phoning to wish us a happy christmas."I phoned early as I might not be here next year. I'm 90 you know..."
Thanks, mum for the cheery start.
My dad used to do that,and he was right he is no longer here, and i do miss him, and his call.:cry:
"How do I get this to work...erm...erm...wossis...no point asking me to read the instructionals, I'm stupid...but I can't get this to work...what's USB? How do I get pictures in it?"
We've bought MIL an electronic photo keyring for crying out loud.
But I do love her, she's bought me some ace stuff. Also, stepson 2 bought me a Lego set and stepson 1 bought me some Scotch. 🙂
How about my fat ****ing stupid waste of air, time, money, resources pathetic excuse for my sister!!!
The MIL was wittering away loudly about nothing throughout Ratatouille, The Griffalo Child and Dr Who.
So, now it's time to get my revenge while she's quiet for Strictly
So, now it's time to get my revenge while she's quiet for Strictly
Now may be a good time to trip the circuit breaker for the sockets, and to tell her youve forgot a screwdriver.
Also, I've just remembered and need to record for posterity an astounding bit of serendipity:
On the way to the beach we were listening to [url= http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b01888sh#segments ]Junior Choice[/url] with Ed Stewart (in itself fantastic) and I remarked that I hoped they would be featuring Rolf Harris.
Despite listening to a couple of cracking records (Positive Thinking - Morcambe and Wise, Hello Muddah, Hello Faddah - Alan Sherman, My Bruvver - Terry Scott etc.) Rolf hadn't appeared by the time we got to the beach.
However, JUST AS WE GOT BACK IN THE CAR... Two Little Boys came on! The last record of the show.
Couldn't help but shed a tear.
I love Christmas.
My MIL does the witter thing, endlessly while she's not interested in anything on the television regardless of whoever is watching it. So I've talked endlessly through Eastenders about stuff I've mentioned at least three times before already.
Yep my mum also witters repeatedly and asks what's going on when watching the telly, then sits there radiating disapproval.
Luckily she's a seven hour drive away, just me, wife & kids today. Taking a telly break before ab fab comes on, might whack BF3 on for a few mins.
God help me
Mother ill and away with the fairies, step father annoying, well meaning but annoying. Still tomorrow I get to cook breakfast an pack up before heading 2 and a half hours home to entertain the outlaws for lunch! And I bought and cooked lunch today, yesterday and tomorrow (in fridge awaiting some heat)!
Triffic. And there is a ride organised that I can't go on.
Looking forward to Tuesdays ride!
1st year in over a decade its just the wife & I = BLISS
Its not that any of either sets of parents is nasty I guess its just having your house invaded by people with a different set of priority's & when your wife has MS she needs all the peace she can get.
Though I know what JohnM means about people who witter through anything remotely educational/informative and then want quiet while they watch every bloody shite soap on TV