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You haven't been together for over 2 years!
You need to move on and if you can't then you need help.
Maybe she has been trying to tell you but you didn't listen and now she is letting you know what the situation is?
I think there could have been a slightly more sensitive way to introduce her new bloke to everyone.
Why would anyone else be bothered that she has moved on from you?
I might sound harsh but I think you may of misread some signals from your ex in the last few months.
I think you're being a bit unreasonable, and she's been a bit insensitive.
She could have been more thoughtful, and its an unfortunate situation, but she's not really done anything wrong. It's mostly up to you to regulate your emotions IMO.
Why would anyone else be bothered that she has moved on from you?
whether they will or they won’t be, I was meaning that I’ll be there! Ie if she want to introduce her bloke to everyone, do it when I’m not there perhaps..she had the perfect opportunity already when everyone going went out for a meal at Christmas time when I was not there
Maybe she has been trying to tell you but you didn’t listen and now she is letting you know what the situation
dude, with respect I genuinely don’t know why you are bothering to respond. You’ve said your piece. You don’t know the girl from Adam. So maybe she did, equally maybe she was an absolute dick who strung me along. You have genuinely no idea whatsoever what the situation was so why continue to post to try to score points, or maybe you are just trying to upset me. If the latter it ain’t working.
for what it’s worth neither of the scenarios above is true.
I think under the circumstances, it may be better to close the thread… it’s been discussed, analysed and answered
probably for the best. I asked a question, I got a response which I appreciated. I’ve already acknowledged she’s not a dick. Certain people seem intent to turn the screw abit, either as they haven’t read the last few pages, or they are just knobs. Either way maybe a little empathy would not be a miss
Sorry if I came across a bit harsh.
It's just that I have been in a similar position to the "new" boyfriend in your scenario on 2 occasions.
It can put a lot of strain on relationships and is not good for anyone involved.
One of the situations was very unpleasant and came very close to escalating.
The other, he just came across sad and a bit stalky.
For everyone's well being, especially your own, you need to move on
Before the thread is closed, I just wanted to say well done to OP as you seem to have taken on a lot of 'outside' advice for a very personal situation. I'm sorry you're going through a crappy time and hope things work out for you, I'm sure with time and a bit of distance it'll all be much easier.
I think this thread has run it's course, and OP should start a fresh one if he needs some support, as he's obviously not in a great place. This forum has always been good at offering that, and I'm sure it will be again. Take care, @tpbiker
Go on the holiday, make the most of it and buy the new guy a pint, it seems to me you now have the clarity you needed. If you don't see that way you need a new club and new mates in addition to a new romantic interest which would be a pity. I was pleased when exes found new partners, for them and for myself.
You feel empathy with people when they are in difficult situations and you wouldn't like to be in their shoes. I think the lack of empathy here (or empathy with your ex) is because people would be handling it differently if they were in your shoes.
I feel sorry for your sadness but your desire to control your ex's actions limits the empathy.
Sorry if I came across a bit harsh.
It’s just that I have been in a similar position to the “new” boyfriend in your scenario on 2 occasions.
It can put a lot of strain on relationships and is not good for anyone involved.
One of the situations was very unpleasant and came very close to escalating.
The other, he just came across sad and a bit stalky.
For everyone’s well being, especially your own, you need to move on
no worries dude. I have no intention of putting a strain on anyone’s relationship. I am trying to move on. And that means avoiding her, and her new bloke. That has meant I’ve had to quit my cycling club and cancel a holiday with my mates. It’s a million miles from trying to hang around her or stalk her, as someone suggested earlier in the thread. Lets be clear here, I didnt find out that her and her bf were going on holiday and decide to go along to cause issues. It’s quite the opposite of that
So you have cancelled I missed that, you are letting her get on with her life (empathy level rising), now get on with yours, the two aren't mutually exclusive.
See you posted without reading half the thread .. that’s the issue I was referring to
@drac if you are still a mod can you close this down please
ta
Not been a great thread to read.
Op asked for advice and got it and whilst most was relevant and trying to help, if worded a little harsh sometimes, some simply came across as wanting to kick the op whilst he was down imo.
All the best for the rest of the year op, it'll get better, day on day even if it's shit right now.