i was seeing a girl for 6 months, we got on really well, i am by nature a generous person, and everything was good, i paid for everything, she didnt contribute a penny, but it was ok with me.
we then went to rome to spend a few days together, and it was a little bit meh, i realised that as a couple it wasnt going to work.
then on the last day she had her passport, bag, phone and credit cards stolen.
we had to stay another day, which meant extra costs i had not planned for and which she agreed to pay for out of her insurance claim. i agreed to go halves on the costs which came to £1200, new flights, hotel, food, cab home from airport, trains to and from consulate and a temporary passport. i lost a days work which i could ill afford.
when we got home she didnt even thank me. we never saw each other again, this was 3 months ago, and she has not paid me what she what we had agreed, she owes me £550.
my question is this, do i try and get the money by fair or foul means, she has blocked me on all media, and anything i do can look aggressive which i dont want to be at all.
i dont need revenge, just what she owes me.
have you any ideas of how to get this money back, or should i just put it down to experience,
my karma says let it go, dont waste my time on negative thoughts.
my machismo say dont be taken for a mug, get your money back.
i thought of saying im going to her parents and explaining and hope the thought of her closest getting grief might persuade her, but i cant bring myself to give trouble to any innocent parties.
i think i know what i should do, but would appreciate any sensible suggestions, i have enough non sensible ideas already in my head.
You know those videos and stills you took of the two of you?....
EDIT: Sorry, didn't read your last sentence.
Do you have any pics?
edit - beaten by seconds!
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I think you're boned TBH, unless she's going to volunteer the money. Even if you were to go down the Small Claims route, it's your word against hers.
I suppose the question is, is £500 quid worth the hassle of dealing with an estranged ex?
I would have thought that even if you did go to her parents, they would be unlikely to engage and it would be pretty unlikely to get the outcome you're after.
a. Try contacting her a few times by whatever means you have (if you have one - if not go directly to b.).
b. After that I'd give it up as a lost cause.
Let it go unless you can actually take her to the small claims court because you have proof she said she would repay you
Learn a lesson
you must be young and she if you are going to tell her parrents
Chalk it up as a life experience note next time
i paid for everything, she didnt contribute a penny
My ex took out a credit card in my name I had no idea of, till I got a letter for £250. It was a fortune to me then but I paid it off and chalked it up to experience. I could have claimed fraud etc etc etc but didn't want the hassle. it felt like anything I did could have been twisted so she looked the victim. She knows she's in the wrong and you have been taken for a mug but generous guys often do. Don't be so willing to pay for all the stuff in future and move on.
Looks like a case for
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If you can afford it, Elsa has the answer above. Otherwise, you could be opening up a whole new world of pain for yourself. Good luck.
No, he doesn't want revenge.
They both agreed to go halves.
He needs evidence. Insurance claim docs, proof of cash.
He needs legal advice to go to a small claims court and get his cash back.
Don't harass her.
You need to research the legal steps to claim your money back which was not a gift.
I think you need to see a solicitor before going to court.
I took a friend to court for £3K and won as I had evidence and knew the friendship was over when he refused to pay me back after 6 months.
Wasn't difficult at all but annoying yes but I knew what I was doing and wouldn't do it again lol.
Lmao @ slackalice but I'd be exactly the same in line with thoughts you are experiencing in dealing with this.
Though I'd probably choose the wrong direction.
I swear that females show really poor form these days. I learnt from all the good but equally non meaninful sex of a couple of birdies recently.
It pays to be celebate , cooorrrrrrrr it's painful saying that but they are mainly headcases that I have been involved with.
I'd say go straight to family member of hers just to gauge the situation and then ditch all contact with her.
Just think of it as a trade off for all the depraved sexual acts she let you inflict on her!
Good point. Did you get your rocks off plenty of times equivalent to £600 worth of Hookers?
600/100 = 6 sessions? I have no idea of prices but someone on here will.
You might need to adjust if she was hot or a bit of a minger.
And not yet a mention of back doors. Well done people. 😀
What a bummer, I feel sorry for the OP. In the end £550 isn't a huge amount to lose but my attitude would be: "Why the hell should she get away with it?" especially if I bailed her out and helped by lending the cash. Personally I would go to Small Claims; you wouldn't get much after fees but she would have to cough the £550 and it would teach her a lesson about responsibility, which seems to be sorely lacking these days when everybody seems to know their rights.
I would feel so strongly about this that if I was his relative I would sit down and help the OP compose the letter to the Small Claims Court, or whatever you have to do. I did it once out of a similar feeling of righteousness and got my cash back.
£500 for 6 months? Sounds cheap, try being married for 8 years 😆
LOL^^^
£500 (less fees) would get him some nice wheels!
Or sales!
Cheap CX would give him a nice ride. Probably better than the EX.
Seriously Lester, research small claims court.
Hope you kept the receipts and a police report for the losses.
I'd put it down to a lesson learned on gold diggers, move on and find someone nice.
Unless you have written signed statements to say that she would go halves with you on any expensens you wouldn't have a chance in court.
She dumped you the second you landed and you are wondering if she'll do the decent thing?
It's gone.
Move along, nothing to see here.
I'd have thought a well-written letter would convince the Court. When I lodged my claim (for damage caused to my motorbike by a careless roofer) I didn't need to submit any documents in proof; my story was accepted as true and I got the money he'd said he would pay me. The OP's former GF would probably get the shock of her life to find out that her former BF wasn't going to roll over and surrender.
Come to think of it, a simple Solicitor's letter might have her reaching for the cheque book.
Good point. Did you get your rocks off plenty of times equivalent to £600 worth of Hookers?600/100 = 6 sessions? I have no idea of prices but someone on here will.
By the sounds of it the OP was in for more than £550 in total, this was just the add on costs for their last little foreign fling.
Best thing to do to start with is to write the money off (calculation above may help with this!) last thing you want is to burden yourself with worrying about it, can't see you getting very far with small claims but I don't have any experience in that arena. Then sit down & write an honest but unemotive letter to her parents outlining the situation, you've got nothing to loose by doing so & if you do get any cash back it will feel like a bonus as you had already written it off 🙂
Can you not just put a polite "You still owe me £550" message on her FB account. Don't go ranting just remind her in public.
thanks guys
im probably going to let it go, but i still cant help thinking i shouldnt let her get away with it, i might just go to small claims court just to give her some hassle, but what a waste of time.
i think the best thing is to send her the link to this thread, to show her what the world stw thinks lol
i dont begrudge anything i spent on her while we were together, and i enjoyed every second, but its just so against my instincts to let it go.
i have proof i paid for everything extra as she sent me copies of all the receipts we submitted to the insurance people, after all she couldnt have paid as she had no credit cards. i suppose the question would be
was it a gift?
can i prove she hasnt paid it back?
because i can prove what i paid by my credit card bills.
she didnt dump me, i dumped her. she wanted to carry on the relationship, i suppose it was worth £550 not to see her again lol
she blocked me on her face book account and on all other media, i have to write to her or visit her personally which i very much dont want to do
ye gods man!!
When I left my ex, I gave her my council house, an £8k car, all the white goods and a house full of furniture simply to avoid earache
I came out of it with my bikes, my hi-fi and about 67p to my name, but I also had my sanity and 50/50 shared custody of my kids and you can't put a price on that 🙂
Some people just crave drama ey!
It will rankle you for the rest of your life if you don't try at least. Copy your card bill and highlight all the expenses then send it to her with a polite but formal letter reminding her how you bailed her out and that she promised to pay the 50%. Don't dwell on your former realtionship, it's a simple civil matter between two people who made a verbal contract.
Edit: you dumped her?
Oh....
Depends on your ages and family values involved, but a mate who'd lent an ex £3000 got that back after talking to her mum. This was post uni, so she must of been 21 ish.
Easy for the majority of STW users to write that money off but it could be a lot of money to some.
It's easy for anyone to write off, usually harder for bread heads though
I wish had enough dollar for a trip to Rome, never mind £1200 sitting around to cover binty's losses
I've had this happen twice in as many years - the 1st was for a few grand, the 2nd only a few hundred, but was even more annoying because it involved deceit.
You just have to realise that people are selfish & are wont to look after themselves.
The current missis is skint but won't let me pay for anything - it's quite nice, but slightly annoying in itself 🙂
Being generous is one thing, but if you go on holiday & she doesn't contribute anything, that's a sign that these is a serious imbalance in the relationship. If she's earning, she should be paying her way if you are equals.
Just forget it; sometime you just have to chalk it up as experience and never do it again. It's an expensive lesson admittedly, but ultimately, it's just not worth the time and effort to recover it. You'll always be a little bitter about it, but hey...
I've bailed my girlfried (now wife) out of £££££s and haven't seen a penny of it despite promises...hey ho.
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when we got home she didnt even thank me. we never saw each other again, this was 3 months ago
she didnt dump me, i dumped her. she wanted to carry on the relationship
Seriously? You dumped her and you are moaning that she's not paid you back?
i love single track replies, we had 6 months together not 8 years, i dont crave drama, i crave my money back, which i didnt have spare, it was paid for on credit card which im still repaying with interest.
i just cant let her get away with it
oh well im off out for a ride
Sorry Lester, you're right.. I was being very insensitive
It just wouldn't be my priority, life's short and some people out there are gonna shaft you
you do what you gotta do to make it feel right mate
I've bailed my girlfried (now wife) out of £££££s and haven't s
Yeah maybe but you can still find monies to upgrade your bike with products such as chris king hubs and enve bars! 😆
Oof.
Got a hammer?
preciousmetals - MemberYeah maybe but you can still find monies to upgrade your bike with products such as chris king hubs and enve bars!
You forgot the critical aspect of all my purchases....SECOND HAND!
leave it, its not worth it
lester, expensive lesson, but its £500 to never speak to her again, move on.
I wish had enough dollar for a trip to Rome
Lester is a generous chap - you won't have to pay a penny and can avoid that awkward eye contact after you get back.
Seriously, OP - she's had the money from you ( for this and everything else ) and got the money back from her insurance ?
You have only tried to contact her via social media - you do know that the post office does a nice line in delivering actual mail, so if you want the money back then send her a letter, with copies of the documents and tell her that she has 14 days before you put her into the Small Claims Court, or just chalk it up as a learning experience and don't pay for everything for 6 months next time and then expect your ( newly ) ex to want to get her hand in her purse when you've told her to do one.
[i]she didnt dump me, i dumped her. she wanted to carry on the relationship, i suppose it was worth £550 not to see her again lol[/i]
It'd been handy if you'd have mentioned this in the initial post, not most of the way down the first page...
🙄
@wrecker we love Judge Judy in our house 🙂
OP you need to speak to her ideally face fo face and remind her she owes you the money. You can threaten small claims but that may well not work out, your word againat hers and she can say you always paid for everything.
Secondly never pay for everything, if the new gf doesn't have a lot of money go 80/20 or even 90/10. Have friends who do this, they fund a joint account in agreed share and use that card to pay for joint things (care meeded with this obviously in case one partner goes nuts on priavte spending)
