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A peaceful passing of the better half!

dcl · 2023-12-04T09:22:42Z

So as a few of you know my better half has been living with cancer for three and half years. Just over 2 weeks ago she passed at our local St Luke’s Hospice after deciding to go a few days before. What a beautiful place and experience. She was in a room overlooking colourful autumn trees and had the most amazing care. As usual she did it on her terms and made sure we all got a hug the last time we saw her even after not moving for 2 days. I now know why the Hospice is not NHS funded. They can do things right without the shackles of bureaucracy. We have had an uplifting funeral attended by a good few people and a mighty party after. She really did live the last three years with real gusto and was only properly ill for the last 2 weeks. Myself, the kids and dog are all finding our way with massive highs and lows but know she is with us somehow. She even organised all our advent calendars. So if you see a fundraiser for a local Hospice think about giving. At the funeral we had a no flowers policy which raised over £2000. To finish the words of my eldest 24yo at the funeral. Her mum would have been swelling with pride!! Thank you for coming here today. I’m Evie, Mum’s eldest daughter and self-proclaimed golden child, which is yet to be denied. Marian was many things to all of you here, daughter, sister, wife, cousin, friend, colleague, Mrs Lane, Dave’s better half, mum, and I am thankful that you have all come to celebrate her life. To be honest I haven’t quite accepted that she is gone, but I miss her hugely. It’s weird to think that she is no longer here to gossip to, send dog memes, go for coastal walks, eat any pastry presented to us or just lie in bed and watch rubbish TV. Maybe today is the start of acceptance, but in the last 2 weeks I have learnt that grief is unpredictable and individual so we just need to take it as it comes. Before mum went into the hospice, she told myself, Carys and Kate not to be scared. We could be sad, and bloody hell I am pretty sad, but not scared. This is something I have thought about quite a lot and to be honest I don’t think I am scared. I’m not scared because I know my mum impacted so many people cementing her legacy, as evident by all of you here today. She taught the future generation, brought friends together, loved spending time with family and was just the best mum. I’m not scared because I know my mum had an amazing life, living it to the full. She travelled the world, loved her job, brought up three incredible children and surrounded herself with people she loved. Even when her illness tried to slow her down, she went up and down the country in the camper, wizzed around in the little electric car, spent time with as many people as possible and we even went abroad. I’m not scared because my mum kicked cancers arse for 3 years more than doctors predicted, paving the path for those suffering with terminal illness. She showed me insane strength and determination to push through, embrace life and celebrate the small wins. I’m not scared because mum, with a little help from dad, gifted me with two pretty cool sisters, and although we now live quite a few miles away from each other, I know I can always rely on them. Unless it’s to unload the dishwasher, that’ll always be done later. I’m not scared because mum chose well and I have the best dad, who will always go above and beyond for not just me but anyone who needs it. I’m very grateful to have him as my dad but I am quite glad he didn’t have to teach me the difference between was and were. And finally, I’m not scared because I know my mum will always be with us. Living on through everyone here today, pushing us to live life to the full, radiate positivity, care for each other and most importantly take any opportunity to have a picky food and bottle of Prosecco. I will never forget the final hug I got from mum the night before she passed. Even at her weakest she found the strength to show her love, which is something I will truly cherish forever. So, to finish, remember to tell your loved ones how much you really love them, give them a hug and eat as much as possible as the buffet as that is what mum would have wanted.

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grahamt1980

Posts: 5840

Full Member

Just expressing my condolences, I haven't read the whole inniskilling post because honestly I can't without cracking up.
Good luck to you and the kids I know you will be fine

Posted : 06/12/2023 11:06 am

Poopscoop

Posts: 16536

Full Member

So sorry to read your post dcl.

The words you daughter wrote were truly beautiful. You're wife, her mother must have been an amazing woman.

Posted : 06/12/2023 11:13 am

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