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Once had fish n chips in the same restaurant as Mr Wilks off of Emmerdale Farm. I was about 10 and I think he had a Special - flash git (Bryan's of Headingley, fact fans).
I charged out of the bog in the Velodrome and nearly bumped into this fella wandering down the corridor. As he walked away I noticed he had quite big thighs, think he might have been called Chris somethingorother. Anyway, the words I said to him obviously stood him in good stead a few months later at the Olympics and I'll never forget them - "Whoops, sorry".
I was accosted by James Cameron and stuck mocap markers on a Terminator.
Dani Behr and Les Ferdinand?
Yeah, them's them. Ta.
3 mad fit Glamour models ....
... it seems it was Jodie Marsh who stuck her finger up my bum.
Something wrong in the first part of the story telling there!
Once had a talk at school from a newspaper editor who had (several years before) had to take a cub reporter to one side and advise him to give up his part time band playing as it was affecting his work.
The cub reporter was Mark Knopfler.
I have the same surname as a very famous actor. I may have used it to ensure a restaurant booking once.
My guitar teacher was Damon Hills guitar teacher.
One of my mates was the original Bass player for Ocean Colour Scene who was "usurped" (his words)by the band before they became famous.
Used to serve pints to Phil Mitchell on his weekends back home in Cornwall.
Whilst mucking about at the Grand Designs show at the NEC last year I almost took out Kevin McCloud.
Watching Amazing Spaces the other day (the air ambulance trailer camper) I realised that David Moreton, the ex-paralympian swimmer was in the year above me at secondary school.
So exciting...
I took Gordon Liddy for his first curry whilst minding him during the Oxford part of a book signing tour.
I used to serve World Cup winning, at the time Manchester City managing, Alan Ball pints of Carling top at the as it was then called Moss Rose pub in Alderley Edge. He occasionally also had a Famous Grouse.
When I was 12 I was sat in front of Jimmy Tarbuck and Kenny Lynch on a flight to Jersey. They spent the hour 'entertaining' the rest of the passengers. Longest hour of my life.
Mine are quite good actually:
1. The great-nephew of Lord Kitchener (the bloke with the moustache on the 'your country needs you' WW1 recruitment posters) was at my parents' wedding
2. I was at school with Gary Barlow and used to deliver his newspapers
3. Daniel Craig's stepmum was the landlady of my local back home for years until she sold it a couple of years ago
4. I knew a James Bond stuntman - he was the one who played Halle Berry when they got out of the back of the Hercules on those one-man rocket things. Needless to say as an middle-aged ex Para he wasn't much of a likeness ๐
5. Oh and my mum looked after Damon Hill for a few hours when he was very little and his Dad was racing at Oulton Park
[quote=jivehoneyjive ]the most racous of said girls kept trying to shove her finger up my bum, saying she was after my prostate.
It's central to the control structure.
I've been shown round the brunel university bio-mechanics lab by Professor Heinz Wolff.
My uncle beat Brian Johnson at pool in a Newcastle pub the night before he flew out to Oz for his ACDC audition. (I've lost count now of the number of times I've heard him tell that story!)
Somebody I know shared a house with Chris Hoy and Craig MacLean. Popped round for a cup of tea when up in Manchester one time.
Grew up about a mile away from where Rose West grew up (long time apart mind you!)
I haven't buried anyone under a patio.
Tenuous enough?
I washed dishes for Duran Duran.
My brother's best mate used to be babysat by the uncle of someone in EMF - this transpired after talking to the band (we're all from the FoD)
Had lunch at a table next to Robert Plant in Worcester
My brother-in-law was in the same school & year as Cat Deeley
The mum of the Taylors from Duran Duran taught in Mrs Fuzzhead's school
Rick Parfit used to drink/eat in the pub I worked in as a kid - used to drive up in a gold roller IIRC
My mum shared a railway carriage with Ernie Wise once
I harrangued Paddy Ashdown during some electioneering thing and made it onto prime time news
Mike Tindall turned up at my Dad's local village fete (very small village)
Not sure if it's actually tenuous enough, but a friend of mine won SAS Are You Tough Enough: Jungle.
Sir Ran's secretary once contacted me, but it turned out it was a different person with the same first name he actually wanted to do something with (mates of mine have raced with him, and once camped next to him at KIMM overnight, hence somehow I'd made it onto his contact list).
My Uncle, Jimmy Murphy is the son of Jimmy Murphy, the real man behind the creation of the 'Busby Babes'. (... and I hate Man U ๐ )
I am a direct descendant of Henry Longfellow who wrote Hiawatha. My Great Uncle played for the WI and was responsible for the first drawn test match.
I do have a friend who is a A-list Actor/model, but her privacy has been compromised so much that I keep it quiet.
My dad sold his jacket to Jimi Hendrix. And my step Dad lived next door to Richard Branson as kids, they were in business together selling birds from my step Grand Fathers collection.
I've been physically ejected from a night club by Warrior from Gladiators 8) he's not a fan of 'banter'
Grew up about a mile away from where Rose West grew up (long time apart mind you!)
Fred West was in Winson Green at the same time as me and the bloke from Dexys Midnight Runners.
I've got the drawers from eric morecambes sisters desk under my desk.
I've had telephone conversations with Daniella Nardini and Jimmy Saville.
A friend once had a date with Kate Hudson.
Ice-T once took the piss out my t-shirt.
Steve Cram held a door open for me, I was 8, walked under his arm, my dad got very excited.
I ran the Brampton to Calise 10 mile road race against Steve Cram needless to say he beat me by at least 10 minutes.
I spilt a full pint of Guinness down the back of Vinnie Jones white shirt in the dover Street Win Bar, London.
Physically walked into Naomi Campbell once in Birminghan, knocking her clean off her feet and on to her skinny arse.
I was on the packaging box for the official Pink Panther cuddly toy.
in the past year i have ridden with (and not in mass participation events, a genuine ride) Chris Hoy (he taught me to ride on the track), nico vouilloz, fabian barel and joe barnes (although fab couldn't ride with his brace on), loic bruni, sam blenkinsop and various other WC/enduro/TdF racers. Loic's girlfriend is a rather nice aussie girl he met in a university canteen in Cairns - she didn't know who he was.
in terms of real 'celebrities', I've got nothing ๐
My real name is Steve Madden. These are my shops....
If you see any, go in, help yourselves and say I sent you ๐
I used to go to school with a kid called John Cockroft, his Grandad, (Sir John Douglas Cockroft) was the first to split the atom.
I've got the drawers from eric morecambes sisters desk under my desk.
Eric Morecambe's mum lived on Peacock Lane and he used to play footie in the garden with a mate of mine ,i lived a little further away next door to Whitewalls Resturant and used to see his Rolls Royce in the car park it always had an Eric & Ernie anual on the parcel shelf.
My mate Patrick worked on a news paper in Leeds and had to have a young cub reporter under his wing. Patrick is a pretty good guitarist, cub reporter said he played a bit so Patrick said come over the house and we will have a jam. Cub reporter got out his guitar and played a bit and Patrick went "Woah" cub reporter was Mark Knopfler ๐
my former flatmate saw Will Young outside Euston station, she started singing Evergereen? at him till he managed to hail a cab and make his escape
Bounced off Christopher Biggins when I wasn't looking coming out of a record shop in London in the 1980's- he was quite nice about it really, under the circumstances
Two tenuous links to the same person
Was served a pint by a guy who was Pink Floyd's road crew catering manager once- He got to drive the 250GTO home after Nick Mason's wedding
Stood next to Nick Mason at the urinals at Silverstone
i went to school with 2 kids from the crapper family (i shit you not). they're descendents of thomas crapper, who invented some sort of toilet design (can't be bothered to google it). the crapper family name is where the word crap comes from.
Was in the pub about 5 years ago, a mate's phone rang - he chatted for a bit and said, "Its Eric, you tell him how to set up an Apple playlist". Eric being Eric Clapton.
A friend was in the running to be the 7th Doctor Who, got down to him and Sylvester McCoy.
Rufus Sewell used to drink in my local pub, still see him every now and then when he comes back from LA to visit his Mum and Dad.
I've also been cycling with "ElfnSafety".
I've been physically ejected from a night club by Warrior from Gladiators he's not a fan of 'banter'
Was that in the Talardy,North Wales?
Back in days when i was self employed the daughter of one of my customers, was and i think still is mates with Andy Sirkis.
Another customer was asked directions to a venue ,turned out to be one of The Beatles(just a short time before fame arrived).
A friend of mine was a roadie and scored a snog with Debbie Harry( in her hey day so respect is due methinks).
Bloke I knew at uni (who kept asking out my GF before she was my GF) was the first person convicted of murder in West Yorkshire without a body being found. He killed his ex-GF after stoving her new boyfriends head in with a hammer.
He should be out fairly soon, was in the mid-90s.
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Was that in the Talardy,North Wales?
It was indeed, many moons ago
Reminded of so many things since reading this thread.
Fred West laid the base for my mums conservatory. He was working with my late Bro-in-law.
I threw up in the back of Timmy Mallett's TVR (he worked at Radio Oxford with the partner in my windsurfing school).
I once sold floppy discs to Tears for Fears. Tw@s.
Via work I've met Felix Baumgartner, two Russian premiers and way too many musicians.
None of whom would remember me. Except Timmy Mallett. Probably.
I've stood behind Peter Capaldi in a queue for coffee, I was tempted to shout c**t. (This was pre Dr Who when he was better know for Malcolm Tucker).
I've been on Crackerjack with the Nolan Sisters, one asked if I wanted her autograph...I declined.
I've ridden with Jesus
Sat next to Robert Plant in a pub in Ullapool.
Stood behind Stuart Pearce in a sandwich shop queue.
Tried to persuade The Clash to play Tommys Disco for free on the Busking Tour.
My Dad started Mercian Cycles in his garage.