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[Closed] You know you're middle aged when you......

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You are attempting a seated start that requires a big explosive burst of energy and then pass wind really loudly...


 
Posted : 21/02/2018 6:59 pm
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You've spent ages trying to find the biggest car you can to fit tents kids and bikes in and decided that you are unimpressed with the size of a Ford Galaxy.

Anyone got a decent Dualiner for sale?


 
Posted : 21/02/2018 8:59 pm
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When somebody asks you for directions and you use the towns old cinemas as reference points not pubs as in "just down the road 200 yards , turn left by the ABC another 100 yards right at the Odeon etc ."


 
Posted : 21/02/2018 9:20 pm
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The 80's were cool.

The barber asks if you need your ear hair trimmed

That new starter in work is old enough to be your kid

The new starter was born the year Top Gun came out

You can remember manual chokes and carburettors

And leaded fuel


 
Posted : 21/02/2018 10:15 pm
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When you’re watching The Brits and the Foo Fighters come on you say “about time they had some proper music on”.


 
Posted : 21/02/2018 10:19 pm
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When you calculate how many years it's been since you left education and start having a nervous breakdown.


 
Posted : 21/02/2018 11:02 pm
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When you know the girl flirting with you on the train is the daughter of a friend 😳


 
Posted : 21/02/2018 11:10 pm
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Genuinely flitting between laughing at this thread and agreeing with it...


 
Posted : 21/02/2018 11:20 pm
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Middle age? Pah! I can barely remember it


 
Posted : 21/02/2018 11:25 pm
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Dez B I had a heart attack whilst mountain biking at bpw @42 yrs
Half of my oppos are on Meds of some description, I personally blame the 90's rave scene


 
Posted : 21/02/2018 11:31 pm
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Dont feel angry anymore and just resign yourself instead to a "tut" and move on.


 
Posted : 21/02/2018 11:52 pm
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Find yourself reading tips on dealing with Prostate "issues"….yes, that was me last week…..


 
Posted : 22/02/2018 12:25 am
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Oh, and watching Question of Sport tonight thinking "mmmmm, Gail Emms"


 
Posted : 22/02/2018 12:27 am
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Death In Paradise.

Not giving a shit.

Ken Bruce.

Hangovers from hell.

I think that about covers it.


 
Posted : 22/02/2018 1:17 am
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Worryingly,I seem to be more angry/irritable these days.But then I'm old not middle aged.My politics are getting a bit more reactionary as well. ☹


 
Posted : 22/02/2018 2:45 am
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Patience and tolerance to bullshit, particularly at work  becomes non existent.


 
Posted : 22/02/2018 7:40 am
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When your idea of a great Friday night is to be in bed by 21:00 reading or watching something on Netflix.


 
Posted : 22/02/2018 7:57 am
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I think most of you are talking about being old, not middle aged.  For me, middle aged is spending half your time taking kids to/from/or waiting while they do one of their hobbies and thinking, "this used to be time I was riding my bike."   And then when you do get a chance you're too knackered.


 
Posted : 22/02/2018 8:13 am
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...have spent a fortune on a bike that's been doing nothing but hanging proudly in the garage for a year, and are still pondering what you can buy to make it perform better.


 
Posted : 22/02/2018 3:23 pm
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Don’t care if the new font is better or worse, the site is more user friendly or a not and you don’t care if the search function works as you never knew it existed anyway. As for copying pictures into the forum..... forget it....


 
Posted : 22/02/2018 8:08 pm
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..........  had forgotten you started a thread a few days ago and have just come back to find it's going rather well..... 😉


 
Posted : 22/02/2018 8:45 pm
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Just experienced another one tonight - debilitating cramp - where, exactly, has that come from? Never used to happen…...


 
Posted : 23/02/2018 12:53 am
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Wait until both legs cramp at the same time from your thighs to the tips of your toes in the middle of an off road ride miles from anywhere ..that ages you straight away !


 
Posted : 23/02/2018 5:32 am
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... get your first State Pension payment into your bank.

They think I'm old, I think I'm middle-aged.


 
Posted : 23/02/2018 9:45 am
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You start getting obsessed about something, ie cycling.Or you buy a flash sports car and run of with a young filly.I only managed one out if three.


 
Posted : 24/02/2018 10:35 pm
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You use words like young filly


 
Posted : 24/02/2018 10:38 pm
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You order afternoon tea for two (I did today)


 
Posted : 24/02/2018 11:27 pm
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... know it's all a load of bollocks.


 
Posted : 24/02/2018 11:30 pm
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I think most of you are talking about being old, not middle aged.  For me, middle aged is spending half your time taking kids to/from/or waiting while they do one of their hobbies and thinking, “this used to be time I was riding my bike.”   And then when you do get a chance you’re too knackered.

I think you're talking about having kids. You don't have the be middle-aged to have kids, or have kids to be middle-aged.

For me, at 35, it's been thinking "I really should put more in my pension, and get out of the default fund...".

And realising some people I work with hadn't seen Die Hard 3 (the one with Samuel L. Jackson) because they were 22, and it was released BEFORE THEY WERE BORN. Argh!


 
Posted : 25/02/2018 12:11 am
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Tutting at the thought of adults watching nonsense like die hard.Resulting in feelings of superiority towards my fellow humanoids.


 
Posted : 25/02/2018 12:40 am
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The barber asks if you need your ear hair trimmed

And eyebrows!!


 
Posted : 25/02/2018 10:21 am
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recognise that sex with your partner is getting less and less frequent but dont really mind that much.

recognise that sex with your partner is non existent but dont really mind that much.


 
Posted : 25/02/2018 11:53 am
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..... take your nine year old to the newly constructed pump track and mince round to show him how safe and fun it is before falling arse over tit over the lip of a berm and taking a huge lump of skin out of your elbow, whilst trying to pretend that it didn't hurt and knowing that your hip is going to ache for weeks afterwards.

Meanwhile, the assembled bunch of teenagers are simultaneously pissing themselves laughing and showing each other a YouTube video of some **** pulling off a back flip in the exact spot you've just fallen

21:45 in this if you're interested in joining the mockery


 
Posted : 25/02/2018 12:40 pm
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