[Closed] What would you look for in a mountain bike cafe?

take the ****ing tea bag out and put some bloody milk in.

carrot cake and an outside shitter.

Wifi

A big ass strava leaderboard on the wall. All times verified by the staff, winner gets banned.

i misread the title as 'what do you look for in a mountain bike cafe racer' and was about to start a right old rant about fashion and trendiness and utter stupidity, i can't believe it sort of thing.

See One Planet Llandegla. It's brilliant. You could use the white bread as a functional mattress it's that thick and fluffy. Big map showing where the food comes from and a simple but hearty menu.

A big ass strava leaderboard on the wall

YES!

haven't read any of the thread but in no particular order:

- somewhere safe to park my bike
- a hose that i don't have to queue for for half an hour to use
- inside nice and warm
- places to sit with a muddy pair of shorts but wiped clean regularly cos i don't mind sitting in me own sh*te but i don't wan to sit in other peoples
- generous portions
- cheap prices
- well made, hot tea and coffee
- home made cake and stuff
- spare tubes, simple tools
- friendly owner and staff, you can have all the above but if you've got some miserable b'stard serving it's not gonna work
-

Not look at you like you were some sort of invading Martian when you ask for soya milk in your tea and gluten free cake.

Can we draw a line and just have an arrow to the garden marked paelo catch your own

[url= https://www.girocycles.com/pages/cafe ]Cafe Giro[/url] in Esher is roadie based but seems to have got the vibe right.

Plenty of non-cyclists use it too.

carrot cake and an outside shitter.

A man who knows his priorities!

If this thread does nothing else, it should discourage anyone thinking of opening a cafe for mountain bikers.

a proper cakey old person

Looking forward to seeing that in the person spec for one of the chef positions.

Maybe an outside serving hatch for those who get anxiety attacks when they can't see their bikes, or are caked with mud, or are steaming with sweat, or all three.

An alternative to wheat: flapjacks, and rye bread, pre-sliced, in the freezer for toast.

If this thread does nothing else, it should discourage anyone thinking of opening a cafe for mountain bikers.

Agreed. I read some of the replies and I think asking for a moon on a stick would be easier 😉

I'll go with something that perhaps won't repeat others. I like to be able to sit outside in pretty much everything other than rain and or snow

I'll repeat others, a big mug of tea! I don't want to be messing about with pots and poxy little cups!

Good sized slabs of home made cake. Tolerance for muddy arses.

Tolerance for muddy arses.

I know some mountain bikers are arses, but not all 🙂

So, if you were setting up a café catering predominantly for cyclists but also other general public users, parents/families etc, what would you look for?

Families? Child-size plates and cutlery. Decent child seats. Child-friendly bottles (local coffee shop does old milk bottles with straws. Very hipster, but also really effective).

Cyclists? Decent coffee. Good cake (homemade). Good stodgy food. Wipe-clean floors and seats. Roaring fire to dry kit out in front of. Area for muddy kit. Hot showers (or is that going a little far?)

Oh yes. Chips. And maybe lasagne. And chips.

Mmm. Chips...

- generous portions
- cheap prices

Pick two. 😉

Pick two. 😉

Can I pick;

- generous portions
- cheap prices

The 2 cafes suggestion is good. Greasy spoon with outside seating for mtbers covered in emulsified dog shit and mud. Nice clean cafe for the rest who own mudguards.

Uplift
Beer
Proper fast WIFI
Cycling films on TV/good tunes
Mags to read (cycling not grumble)

I really like the ones with a bike wash and a shower! 🙂

Other than that hot drinks and comfort food all the way

Can I pick;

- generous portions
- cheap prices

See what you did there. And my mistake.

😳 😆