What did you guys do upon discovery on the people hanging?
Head off in a different direction, as that one was clearly a dead end.
Usual doggers,
rode through the middle of a crime series being filmed in near by woods, thought it was a police search at first then saw all the camera’s, they were not to please when I popped up out of nowhere.
Man having a poo on a trail.
Loads of incoherent, gap tooth alcoholics that shout something at you and do that alcie hand gesture when riding through the villages round here.
Whinlatter North red, a couple getting jiggy just to the side of the trail.
In the Alps a naked German coulpc ( well into pensionable age) walking down one of the trails.
Wildlife of various sorts, Deer foxes owls...
A tent
A brand new white garden chair, in the middle of some woods. No one around. No idea why it was there.
The pushchair at the bottom of the slab at Dalbeattie was a bit weird. Like, I've pushed this child round half the black route but that last feature was too much man
A pigs head, loads of people having sex, a guy facing into the trail taking a piss.
A dog eating a deer's leg, no sign of the rest of the deer or the dog owner.
A jacobite village filled with time travellers (turns out they were filming Outlander).
Doggers.
A naked rambler.
Adults in white cloaks carrying crosses, bottled water and a sleeping child.
Almost forgot the devil worshippers down near Ron's Playground on Caerphilly mountain.
Doggers on night rides; when the portable daylight attached to my helmet illuminated them the look on their faces is amazing. They are not never much to look at though.
Some form of witch gathering in the woods, clothed but dancing round and waving sticks and stuff.
Saw a woman walking a small dog with a large African grey parrot on her shoulder.
Yeah Doggers, a chap looking like he was performing a Saxaphone solo on his friend whilst another stood by conducting with his wand in-hand.
A pair of Vampires in wedding dresses in a photo shoot throwing cup cakes at the camera.
A family having a lovley BBQ in ‘the park’ which was actually the fairway of Golf Course.
Rhodri Morgan listening to PMQs on his iPod.
A CXer clear a section I didn’t fancy on my 6” trail bike.
Years ago I bumped into a fella complaining bitterly about the chainstay on his new On One. Never heard anything more about it after that though and always wondered if it turned out alright in the end ...
Rode through the middle of a film set a couple of months ago. It was Dr Doolittle apparently. A chuffing great 12ft high pair of doors and many metres of wall all made out of wood and what not. Looked amazing.
And some sort of medieval village a while back. Another film set. There’s lots of that sort of thing round here.
The only naked people I’ve seen whilst out have been old blokes enjoying the sunshine.
saw a guy running towards me from a distance wearing weird skin coloured lycra the as he got closed I could see something flapping about... Then I realised there was no lycra
Feel like i've led a sheltered riding life. So glad i've not seen a hanging though, or doggers. Did see an escaped wallaby in woods near Reading, my pic made it to the local paper:
3 guys bumming each other, needed eye bleach after that.
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2 36pint barrels of ale (empty sadly) in literally the middle of nowhere.
Discarded rubber husband complete with condom on.
mate and I rode down into a quiet valley and both thought it was a good enough spot to take a breather.....
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We guiding a group through Tuxertal, Austria one year when I rounded an old barn and the was some guy getting a blowey from a lady in her Dirndl (traditional dress). 12 of us rode by each wishing them a nice day.
Two naked elderly ramblers.....
Old Man Thong regularly on the road, upper Test Valley. I was informed of his existence by Mrs B, and thought she';d been drinking more than usual (tricky proposition to be honest) - then we encountered him, and now I can't appear to shake him off. Ahem.
All I could think was - ' the chafing'. I doubt even BumButter is going to fix that.
Just been reminded that I saw a wallaby too, no pics.
some guy getting a blowey from a lady in her Dirndl
You see, that right there.One for the bucket list.
I think anyone that used to ride Swinley a few years back can remember riding along then just in the middle of the forest there was a Harry Potter film set, great big facade of a house just plonked in the middle.
That and the regular raves under the bridge, came down one trail at a fair lick only two find two ravers just lying in the middle of the trail looking at the sky.
Someone walking their dog up a very clearly signposted trail.
- The dog wasn't liking it. The gradients makes it pretty much "un get-uppable".
- The human wasn't liking it.
- The trail was marked at multiple spots as bikes only.
I wonder what they were thinking.
An albino stag up at Ashridge - came round a corner and nearly ran into it before it took off.
I saw a man performing the Heimlich on his friend, right next to the railway climb up Tunnel Hill
They were so vigorous that it appears their trousers had fallen down, but it had clearly worked because the man recovered really quickly and ran off once they heard me coming.
Approaching. I mean approaching!!
Amorous couple in a car in Spain. Considering the size of the car, it was impressive.
Stumbled through the set of Robin Hood.
A friend turned a corner to be confronted by space ships - it was the set of Phantom Menace.
Bumped into a guy on a penny farthing a few weeks back.
A load of ladies underwear and lingerie pages from catalogues inside a cold war bunker (Croatia). I believe the 'owner' had been pinching the underwear off washing lines in the local village.
A knife fight, with a machete (Grenada).
A load of kangaroos. In the Chilterns.
Edit: guiding a group of school kids on a low-level alpine ride in Austria. Met a gorgeous red-headed lady sunbathing topless outside an alpine hut by a trough I'd planned to use as a bottle refill stop. She was lovely – in many ways – and totally non-plussed by the 14-16yr old English boys with their jaws on the floor.
A Druid coven enacting some sort of ritual. Didn't hang about in case I became the next course. Two knights in full armour battering each other with swords in the same woods. Who would have thought Bridge of Allan could be so exciting??
A fair few undressed folks, including two guys having a bit of a naked wrestling match in the back of a Landrover that they'd just pulled into a passing place. No problem with that, except it was about 2.30pm on a sunny Sunday afternoon. Get A Room!!
Oooh, an exotic photoshoot just to the side of the wee road down to Mungrisdale from the end of the Skiddaw House trail in the Lakes. The photographer was desperately trying to cover up the lady's bits as three of us rode past, but she was just giggling and laughing. She was a fine looking young woman.
Saw a couple of guys playing hide the sausage over baggeridge and a lady bouncing up and down on a guy on the canal towpath, not off to the side on the towpath itself!
It's hard to ride one handed !!
This morning saw a chap having a crafty fag outside an ammunition and explosives storage depot, right next to a huge sign saying 'No Smoking within 15m'. When he saw me he hastily stubbed it out, clearly after a Darwin Award.
Naked rambler, heading towards Denbies Vineyard (is there a club?)
Guy taking saucy photos of his girlfriend on one of the busiest paths on Mickleham.
This little vignette tucked into the fold of a tree next to another path in the Surrey Hills
a tracksuit clad skinhead noshing off his mate with his tracky bottoms round his ankles. they protested that they were looking for his 'small dog' when they clocked me
bloke shitting ON THE TRAIL so had to swerve round him and his shit laughing
lots of re-enactment type people dressed like medieval types with beards (including the princesses)
doggers
people shagging in a car with the lights on wanted to be 'dogged'
a fox cub
lots of weird line choices
Recently it was cycling past a load of LARPers. Nothing unusual in that really, see them quite often on Woodbury.
On this occasion however, two orcs in full gear and rubber masks started chasing me. They were shouting something, but it was a bit muffled by the masks. As they got a bit closer I could make out they were shouting 'Sir, sir.'
Turned out it was a couple of my nerdiest yr11 students. Made my day 😄
No scenes from Kill List?
A colleague of my mum's said she came across a full-on provo training exercise in a remote part of the Mourne Mountains in the 70s (walking, not mtbing tho).
Druids, ran before I became lunch
A few years ago I found a cheque lying in the forest for around £4k.
An al quida training camp in the new forest. Guys in camo lying alongside the trail watching me. I didnt stick around. Was in the news shortly after.
Two guys coming out of a new forest enclosure, each with a can of tennants in one hand and a goat on a rope in the other.
Naked photo shoot of a girl with bright red hair. Both ends. All the blokes in our group were a bit embarrassed and trying not to obviously gawp as e had to stop to open a gate. The one lady with us seemed quite fascinated.
All these are great, I saw a car parked under a bridge one Sunday lunchtime, woman with t*ts out obviously just finished noshing a guy off as she wiped her mouth and he pulled his trousers up. Group I ride with saw 2 women in the middle of a field practising pole dancing in their underwear. I saw a woman having a p*ss behind a shed the other day and a woman walking with her top pulled down and t*ts out. Pretty much every ride encounters a car parked down some dead end road with people sat smoking weed.
LARPers on Holmbury. Wizards, knights and stuff. Freaky coming across them in the evening. Might be related to the picture I posted earlier.
More freaky was night ride up there, no one about, deadly silent and my lights causing a dozen eyes to shine in the trees.
Never see any doggers or photoshoots - clearly riding in the wrong areas!
We are usually the actual cause of any weird stuff we see - often involving our annual Christmas fancy dress ride, or occasional fancy dress Halloween ride, including scaring the **** out of some late dog walkers when they were suddenly faced with a giant Yeti (riding a Yeti obviously) and huge inflatable pumpkin flying around the corner towards them out of the dark.
Likewise the farmer in his land rover who was trundling slowly over the hill across fields a few days before Christmas when he came across a group of guys on bikes dressed as the; Virgin Mary, a snowman, The Star of David, a couple of Santas and an elf enjoying a few drinks in the snow, gathered around a temporary bar that had been hooked onto a gate in the dark, complete with bar stacks, beer mats, flashing Christmas lights and music.
What appeared to be a fresh roe deer pelt folded up in the middle of a path. I took a picture but then thought well who the hell would I report this to? No carcass or blood anywhere
“More freaky was night ride up there, no one about, deadly silent and my lights causing a dozen eyes to shine in the trees.”
...just a local Sasquatch group having a roam - a change of scene from Boxhill!
