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The day I fit MX style hand guards to any of my bikes
Yeah... I bought my dad some carbon fibre (effect) wind shields for his road bike as he was struggling with really cold hands. Seemed like a good idea in practice but just looked too much like a pair of carbon fibre fake boobs sticking out the front of the bike.
I doubt he ever used them and when I inherited them they've also sat at the back of the garage, probably never to see the light of day. Would probably do a great job of keeping a lot of rain of your hands as well...
They popped up on a few bikes at the World Champs, with the suggestion from Warner or Claudio that they were being used to cut the windchill.
A noseless saddle, can't be comfier, can it?
Another pair of Vittoria Corsa tyres as my current rear one has started to shed it's tread.
A registration plate and tax disc.
Any grips that are cheap and don't damp vibration.
A racist... but a dick rides it quite frequently.
Lock on grips.
Non square taper bottom brackets.
650B wheels.
Endura seatpacks.
Any tyres recommended by Binners.
Ton or anyone over 80kg.
Tan wall tyres.
Black parts when theres a colour anodised option 🙂.
A bell, I find a ding ding quite obnoxious unless it's a little kid, you might as well shout move or get outta my way, an excuse me and thanks is much better.
Light coloured grips, only black or dark blue is appropriate.
Oval chainring.
Carbon bars, cant trust a bar that let's lightly tightened levers leave their mark.
Sram gears.
Anything with a battery that isnt a light.
Non black rims! ****ing hate them.
And for the non carbon bar crowd.
I'm 100kgs and shit at jumping but like to give it a go, so needless to say my landing is also shit. I've had 2 sets of carbon mtb bars (RSP EGO's) and they've been faultless. Sold one with a bike but second set have been on my Solaris for a good couple of years now.
Also have carbon bars on a road bike but dont jump that...
Novelty valve dust caps
Your mum
A snob
Derailleurs.
I have a kickstand on my computer
Big Respect here
Ya momma's got a meg leg with a kick stand
This. I did it once, but I annoyed even myself.
Stickers with my name and nationality on.
Thermite, on account of the potential damage it coud cause.
I just shout “Ring Ring”, always gets a laugh…
Me too, for the same reason. I accompany it with "Virtual bell, virtual bell"
- Barends on riser bars
- Flat bars and long stem on a mountain bike
- Narrow rims even on the road bike
- Wheels with less than 32 spokes
- Wheels with spokes that are not the standard j type.
- Narrow mud specific tyres
- Chain stay protector
- Saddle with rails that are not cromolly (have snapped a few alloy and titanium rails in my time)
- Triple chainset (unless I'm planning on cycling around the world)
- Inner tubes (unless in an emergency)
- XT freehub (this is based in breaking a couple in the past compared to the almost unbreakable Deore freehub)
- Gears or even a freehub on a winter commuter bike in Scotland (freehubs have a habit of freezing on me causing a knee/nuts and stem collision)
- Expensive chains
- Cheap gear and brake cables
- Coloured gear or brake outers
- Clean mountain bikes look unloved
- Dirty road bikes look unloved
- A saddle that looks brand new, saddles should look like they're on their 3rd or 4th bike (because they are)
- Cheap wire bead tyres
- Overly long cables
- Different brand front and rear tyres unless it's a commuter or pub bike
- Pump
- Bike luggage when you are just going for a local ride (a neighbour came out for a 2 hour social ride recently with a rear rack, pannier bag, tool kit and a d-lock)
A mens saddle...
I was gonna post them hand guards that look like wing mirrors but seeing as most posts are just written to antagonise I’m gonna say Burgtec components. They are well too ubiquitous fanboi SantaCruz bandito for me. Although I’m lying coz I have the pedals !!
I also have a big mistrust for carbon bars, yet I have a 40mm rise carbon fat bar that I run periodically because it’s the absolute perfect shape and I can’t bring myself to buy the exact same thing in metal. I try a different shape metAl one for bit, realise I miss my carbon fatbar, stick that back on, get nervous, buy a different shape metal one and repeat!
Carbon rims tho. Wouldn’t touch them!!
35mm bars (disclaimer: I did and it was, unsurprisingly, stiffer than a stiff thing).
Mobile on the bars.
Tyres in any colour that isn't black.
Colour-matched stickers and components (half the Vital BOTDs look like turds rolled in glitter).
Anything made by Crank Brothers.
650B front wheels (on the mountain bike at least).
Everything else on this thread I've either thought not for now but maybe, or it made me think ooh I could do with them!
That fluorescent flexible tubing to make the bike visible at night that some berk on dragons den was pitching.
SRAM probs.
Normal flat bars. Drops or swept back/alt for me.
12/13 speed. 9 is boss. 10/11 is tolerable/available.
Wet lube.
I would say bikepacking bags, but I'm saving up for a non-frame-rubbing, non-wobbly-sack-of-shite set up for camping so might have to use them a while longer.
Dropper post. Cos going up quickly means more to me than going down more quickly than I am comfortable with.
I used to say alu nipples, but am slowly changing my mind.
Straight pull spokes. Ugh.
35mm anything. I'd still prefer 25.4 bars and stems. My quill stem road bikes are more comfy. After 20 years of stiffer = better people are realising that ain't always true.
Tool bottle cage. I'd like to, but I like my 'systems' and wouldn't want to rely on it only to need 2x water bottles on summer and have to change my tool carrying methods.
Gels/dextrose/expensive sugar nonsense.
And... Suspension forks. For now.
cabled mech or dropper
Stickers with my name and nationality on.
Haha this is the best one. So true.
Any chain lube bar putoline
*runs away*
What would I never put on my bike?
A fat, unfit middle aged knacker.
But unless said knacker gets out and rides that won’t change, so best get on with it !
LOL ABOVE
TT bars without an extra set of hydraulic brake levers on the bar ends.
Iainc.
tomhoward
Full MemberStickers with my name and nationality on.
My Glentress Mincer ones seem to go down well.