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Doing a massive Scottish ridge walk solo. It starts on a road at carpark A and ends in carpark B.
So I drop a bike off at carpark B to save the 11 mile walk along the road at the end of the walk, and drive to carpark A.
Have a great day on the hill and get to carpark B pretty knackered just as its getting dark.
Where are the keys for the bike lock? Oh yes, they'll be in the car then, 11 miles up the road.
I think the phrase rhymed with "clucking bell".
When you forgot to lock your back wheel for the first time in years and some scumbag helps themself, last night, FFS
What I did last week. Rushing to do a bike-fixing job that didn't really need to at that instant, but I thought I could fit it into the 5 minutes I had before the school pick-up. Making a complete arse of the threads on the aluminium hub axle, rendering axle useless therefore wheel useless as Planet-X don't do spares.
It's that horrible feeling when the penny drops that it's going to be expensive.
...when its 9:45pm, pouring with rain, your on a bridleway at the point furthest from the road & you [i]just know[/i] your getting a flat.
Then, after thinking to yourself [i]its ok, you've a spare tube, pump etc, you'll just be a few mins late home[/i], you pull out said tube & realise you've grabbed a 20" tube for your kids bike.
Then, after defying the laws of physics, & stretching said tube into a 29" wheel, you pedal away & shatter the silence of a rain soaked winters eve with [i] the symphony of the exploding innertube[/i]
Then, then, after trudging along aforementioned rainsoaked bridleway, to the road, you realise good lady Wife cant actually collect you anyway, because the kids are in bed.
So, you beat your chest, stuff said tyre with undergrowth & ride gingerly home.
prior to the seatpost dying on the same bike...while using it to commute to work i got tat clunking noise from the rear mech then the chains started to jam and slip. then it snapped, but in doing so it snapped the cage of the rear mech clean off. the resulting bits went into the spokes and broke 2 spokes and pulled the rim out of true and the mech hanger was bent.
stood there in the freezing, pissing rain and i decided to rejoin the chain and try riding the rest of the journey into the office in singlespeed mode but after a few hundred meters the chain shifted up on the cassette and now was too tight and snapped again. so i rejoined it again with what was left of the chain. managed another half mile gingerly until it snapped again! so i ended up walking the remaining 2 miles into the work then had to stuff the bike in the back of a taxi on the way home...
Having your XTR mech go through the back wheel at the furthest point from the start on the Mary Towneley Loop, taking out the mech and singlespeeding not working, and having to run with the bike over Rooley Moor to keep up with your mates on the way back to Worsthorne!
When you have a presentation the next day that is worth quite a large % of that year at uni, but all your housemates are suffering from flu with sore throats and crippling headaches. Let's just say I'm currently drinking orange juice and avoiding them at all costs! 😯
realise you've grabbed a 20" tube for your kids bike
Done this. Had an unplanned walk as a result.
And, failing utterly to learn a lesson, subsequently done exactly the same with a 24" tube from the other child's bike. Fortunately a 24" tube on a 26" rim is get-away-with-itable and was able to (gently) ride home.
Being lazy and not putting the bike in the stand to tweak the front bake and put the bike upside down on the saddle and bars. Spin the front wheel, bike rocks and starts to fall and you grab the forks. To then chop your nail off in the spinning disc..........
Feeling smug because your notoriously snappy 120mm trailbike frame rocked its way through the fort william endurance downhill without missing a beat, while around it downhill bikes fell apart.
Then going for a gentle ride in the pentlands a couple of days later and the back end falls off while riding over an acorn
A few years ago, a mate and I did (for us) a tough winter climb on the north side of Liathach. Eventually got back to the road at the far western end of Liathach, with the car parked at the eastern end. Feeling fresher than my mate I volunteered to walk back along the snowy singletrack road, pick up his car and drive back to collect him. Got to the car eventually in the dark in a snowstorm to realise I’d left my glasses in the pack that was still with my mate (I’d taken them off whilst climbing as they kept getting covered in snow). Cue one of the scariest and slowest piece of driving ever.
My wife locked us out - yale lock on the front door. I broke back in by smashing the glass with a brick. The "oh bollocks" feeling was when I realised I'd hit the glass rather too hard, my arm had gone straight through still holding the brick, and I was now bleeding profusely.
When after a long day of filming you arrive back at the hotel to find the kitchen shut and a work colleague offering you soup and cold meats when what you really needed was steak and chips.
Bloody dishwashers.
First "oh bollocks" this week when it dawned that it died a death, following the recent death (and subsequent replacement) of the washing machine and the boiler, a 21st birthday to pay for and a cambelt job on the car.
Second "oh bollocks" when I drained the kitchen sink for the third time and only then remembered that I hadn't plugged the drain connection when I removed the dishwasher.....
Yesterday.. 10 miles into a planned 50 mile epic I came across a group of oap ramblers, about 30 of them,on the main track. Being a thoughtful caring kind of guy I shouted them to keep coming and I'll cut across the grass, 20 yards later I am covered in latex pissing from both tyres having been slashed by broken bottles in the grass!!! Bollocks...next time I'll plough straight into them.