[Closed] People from that London...

I'm taking my own sandwiches

what's in your sandwiches?

Dont forget your vaccinations and your passport.

Are they used to walking?
If not might be better to take the tube as those are tough streets out there.

I'm thinking of bacon on Lancashire Oven Bottom Muffins, with a brown sauce dressing to eat on the way down; early start, see? Then for the journey home, probably some Lancashire cheese and ham with Worcestershire Tomato sauce.
Got some Gatorade cheap at that Tesco to drink, although I may purchase some beer to liven up the conversation back, because I suspect I will be travelling with ladies of a certain age (ie my age...)

They are nurses, but not the young lithe things they once were.
Think support stockings rather than stockings.

Black cab mate. Else you'll never find yer way through the smog. There's a few busy road crossings as well iirc.

but I'm taking my own sandwiches

Passport control will confiscate any organic products coming into the city state. 🙂

What shoes though?

Watch out for Pearly Kings and Queens, the cheeky cockney's will 'ave your sandwiches away in a flash gawd bless 'em

the walk from Euston to Edgeware Rd isn't the most pleasant - you're basically walking next to a 6 lane carriageway for a couple of miles
.
hop in a cab, should be about £8, the bus will cost you £2 each

I'm going to take a small Hovis loaf and leave a trail of bread crumbs so I can find my way back to the train.
I might have to follow a trail of stunned pigeons as they won't be used to proper bread.
If anyone wants to say hallo I'll be the one in the flat cap and I've cleaned my clogs special, like.

6 lanes you say?
Eeeeeh they'll never believe that back home!
We shall see, I'm bringing my coal shovel for't dig up golden paving stones...

Those butties sound delicious.
What will you do with the whippet?

The whippet will be stopping at home, the ferret is coming though; he's never been on a train.

Will the ferret cope with the massive rats and foxes as big as dogs?

The ferret will be down his trousers anyway, he could always go down Bond street and pass the ferret off for a mink and sell it for a few bob.

[/i]Will the ferret cope with the massive rats and foxes as big as dogs? [i]

that's no way to talk about the city workers

Lol.
Anyway, do they have WiFi on virgin trains?
I'll probably be in the guards van if I take onion to go with my cheesebutties.

WiFi? didn't know it existed out side of London 😆

BTW I only live down here during the week, I'm from oop norf

...and what will the weather be like? Can I leave my vest off?

if you have a few tats why not strip to the waste and get a few cans of larger. perfect!

jamesca - Member
if you have a few tats why not strip to the waste and get a few cans of larger. perfect!

It's not Newcastle, you know.

Don't forget your hanky for thee head if its hot!

On a related note, will there be anything moist in the chip shop? I need gravy or at the very least, mushy peas.

Keep the stab proof vest on though....

You should be able to get gravy I think, not sure but saying that fish and chips are shite down here.

Fried chicken on the other hand rocks

I'm bringing a pie in case the volcanic ash thing happens again.

you can buy pies down here
the local shops dont just sell to local people

You can get pies alright, but not ones in cases!

fish and chips are shite down here.

Consider my gauntlet thrown, sir.

I give you my local chippy, Seafresh in Pimlico as a fine example of why you are very, very wrong.

[url] http://www.hollandspies.co.uk/ [/url]

Proper pies for proper people.

I'm taking a buttie box too to bring some exotic buffet food back for the kids..

The whippet will be stopping at home, the ferret is coming though; he's never been on a train.

😆

Will the ferret cope with the massive rats and foxes as big as dogs?

😆

In fact, much lollage!

Don't forget yer Factor 50 sun cream; we're much closer to the Equator you know.

And a pair of dark sunnies is a must... 8)

Ah; it'll be a nice little treat for youse, won't it? Hope you have a lovely time.

If you need a solicitor, just let me know.

And a pair of dark sunnies is a must...

Black Iridium is the lens du choix round here at the moment. Plenty of nice sights to see.....

Oh, and it's very good for protecting against the glare from the pavements. Paved with gold, every inch of them.

I won't be doing any soliciting thank you!

I was really hoping to come down the night before and take in a show, but the NHS wont pay for any frills, so it's your tax money I'm saving by taking my own sandwiches!

As a fellow northerner trapped in that London each week (I get parole each Thursday to travel back to God's Own County), I have a few survival tips:
1. Keep moving. That's why cyclists down here run the red lights - get mugged or stabbed otherwise, see.
2. Leave your manners at home. If you're rude - with a grumpy scowl - you'll fit in just fine.
3. Bring your own beer. What's here is over-priced and under-bodied for the Northern taste buds, and worst of all almost always has no head.
4. Approach no one if you get lost. If you approach a stranger to ask for help you'll be given a filthy look and treated as a sure-fire sex pest.
5. Keep your eyes open as there are some great sights on the streets now the sun is out. Ogling is positively encouraged I believe.

Not an infallible list, but it'll get you by to start with.

As a Londoner, I am qualified to give you some proper advice:

1. Don't listen to any miserable Northerner who's brought their own cloud of despair down with them.
2. Bring your manners. They cost nothing, which will suit your Northern pockets.
3. Don't bring any of that foul, warm, flat, insipid fetid muck you pretend is 'beer'; we invented beer, and make it properly down here. It's not radioactive like Northern beverages.
4. Most folk will be only too pleased to help you out, and won't look at you incredulously, with disgust and horror, because you're not related to them. They will also be able to respond coherently and intelligibly, rather than in grunts and snarls.
5. Cast your eyes to the ground, should you encounter any of our women. You are not worthy of their attention. They won't look at you anyway, with your pallid, malnourished complexion.

An infallible list, and it'll get you by to start with.

Ah, southern man speaks with forked tongue. Clouds of despair congregate around Kings Cross, St. Pancras & Euston awaiting the unwary. Luckily, spirits can be lifted by keeping your peepers wide open.

Clouds of despair congregate around Kings Cross, St. Pancras & Euston awaiting the unwary.

It's all the Northerners getting off the trains, and getting heatstroke... 😀

In truth, a significant number of desperate souls in that area are actually from Oop North and Scotland. A mate worked in a drugs outreach centre round there, and many of their 'customer's were as described. Young people come down to escape life at home, hoping for a better life in the Capital, and discovering the grim reality of any large city. 🙁

[url= http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1172206/ ]Somers Town[/url] is a good film based in in Kings Cross.

Hmmmm.

Talkemada - Member

As a Londoner, I am qualified to give you some proper advice:

1. Lies & falsehood
2. Falsification & fabrication
3. A whopper & a porky
4. Invention & pure fiction
5. Just plain deceit

An infallible list, and it'll get you by to start with.

I came to London on a course from sunny Yorkshire with it's lush hills and proper beer 10 years ago. I'm still here 😐

Painted on a wall at Euston. The most famous of graffiti

"Turn back now, it's Grim up North"

Those cheeky monkey southerners with thier "LIES!"

[url= http://www.thehob.co.uk/northerner.asp ]Are you a Northern Bastard or a Southern Fairy?[/url]

Get a cab.

I'm going to walk, and watch the cheerful Londoners as they go about their business.
I'm still taking my butties though.

Don't drink the water down there. It's rubbish

You really do need my ex-fiancee Talkemada as your guide/minder. He's from the East End (ever so slightly wide-boy in personality) but I'm from the West (posh totty) hence our change of status. 😥

He knows where to avoid, is expert at ducking and diving, talks the lingo. Not sure whether he could understand yours though 😉

Actually Captain Flashheart has "good connections", he will be the perfect host. 🙄

[i]my ex-fiancee Talkemada[/i]
My mind is boggling.....

Oh yes. He left me for a younger model. 😥

But we all still love him. 😀

Take an ipod and 18 packs of cigarettes which you'll listen to and smoke constantly, respectively, that way you'll fit in.

The last time I was down the smoke (a week - felt like a year) for a long period I witnessed the decider in identifying southeners and northeners. I went into a pub near Liverpool street station and some lads kicked off because the owner refused to sell any more beer to them.

After all the bank types and blokes with scarves on like girls wear them had sidled away quickly to other places (like the other side of the river) there was me, three lads and the aggressive chaps stood at the bar, turns out the three lads were from Leeds and were much obliged to the angry blokes, as was I.

I came to London on a course from sunny Yorkshire with it's lush hills and proper beer 10 years ago. I'm still here

Bloody foreigner. Come dahyn ear, push 'ouse prices up, moan all the time about 'ow yer can get a house, car, week's shopping, herd of cattle and a night out all for 79p Oop North, moan about the beer being too cold, moan about the weather being too 'ot, moan about how there's no countryside even though they never bloody visit it when they're back 'ome anyway and it's mostly us Southerners you'll find in beauty spots up there anyway, etc etc.

'Appy to take the money dahyn ear though, in't they? Bastards! Should have a special 'Northerner Tax', charge 'em double (oh we already do! 😀 )!

😉

I'm born and bred, lived all me life here, and am therefore far more qualified than anyone to offer advice, onion and information on That London. Anything you want to know, you come to me. I'll sort you [i]right[/i] ahyt.

Flashy? 'Connected'? Only to the mains, during one of his kinky disturbing upper-class 'activities' with dubious Ladies of the Night....

Are you a Northern Bastard or a Southern Fairy?

"Do you own a mini-Disc player?"

WTF? 😯

Flashy? 'Connected'? Only to the mains, during one of his kinky disturbing upper-class 'activities' with dubious Ladies of the Night....

😆 Fred

The Captain doesn't exist! Who else on STW would refuse the opportunity of riding with 3 gorgeous girlies? 😯

Of course he may surprise me and come to the Winchester ride, I would naturally plant a smacker, but don't reckon it will happen. 😉

Guys - some of us London gals have moved to the Shires and have become refined. 🙄

Eee, don't get me wrong. I quite like some parts of Oop North. I went up to Bradford recently. Loved it. I really like that city. Leeds was ok, didn't really see that much of it tbh. Lovely art gallery. But Leeds pales in comparison to Bradford. Just doesn't have the character. I mean, Saltaire- lovely. If I was allowed to see Pippa B.T., then she might fall in love with me, and I could move up there and marry her, and have lots of little Talkemadas, and maybe open a cultural centre. Ah....

I don't like Warrington though. No. My friend Adam is from there, and in his own words, will 'never live there again'. Mind you, he wants to move out to Frinton, Essex, in a few years, so I don't count his judgement much at all really.