OFFICIAL Swinley (SEXYPARTY) all-welcoming First-day-of-spring FUN RIDE! – Page 2 – Bike Forum

philconsequence · 2011-02-14T14:42:06Z

[b]THE Swinley super-sexual super-fun all-welcoming March FUN RIDE![/b] OK, here we go again :) In the same way staff on planes ask you to pay attention as the safety announcement may have changed since your last flight, there are some changes and additional information in this post! I have broken it up into sections to try and answer as many questions in advance as possible: [b][u]WHAT'S THE BIG IDEA?[/u][/b] Who wants to join us for a chilled not so serious not too fast ride? A ride that is completely devoid of mad skilz, big air and judgement, an afternoon of getting muddy in Swinley... Equally who wants to meet up with some of the weirdos from this forum and blast through the single track like a scolded yeti? The last SwingleySexyParty ended up with some confusion at the beginning and we ended up with everyone heading out in one BIG group of just over 45 riders.. this time I think it's sensible to have a couple of groups: [b]1 - "The A-Team"[/b], a group of riders so fast and AWESOME that it would be mean and nasty to make them wait for the slower riders... PaulD has kindly volunteered to lead this group. [b]2 - "The A(part2) Team"[/b], as above, but possibly necessary if enough people come along to have 2 faster groups... Thisisnotaspoon has kindly volunteered to lead this group. [b]3 - "The It's not how fast you ride its how much fun you're having (but secretly jealous of the extra confident healthy people) Team"[/b].... Cinnamon_Girl will be leading this group, feel free to stick photos of LOLcats on her backpack when she's not looking. Conversation and pace should be set by the slowest person in the "INHFYRIHMFYH(BSJOFECHP)" group so please dont worry about not keeping up with the mentalists, this should be an afternoon with lots of little stops and no pressure to be amazing. If it wasn't for a crack down on misogymathingy I'd almost jest it makes it a perfect ride to invite your lady friends along too ;) If that sounds like your idea of fun, then it would be a pleasure to have you along. [b][u]WHERE AND WHEN?[/b][/u] The plan is to meet at [u]11:30 on Sunday 20th March[/u] in the LookOut carpark for fettling, pumping up tyres, admiring my pyjamas/Yeti's pre-ride stretches and then setting off to ride at 12o-clock lunchtime. It is worth emphasising that it is sensible to allow plenty of time to park and, if needs be, use the Coral Reef car park which is across the road from the entrance to the LookOut. There is an Overflow car park that is accessed from far right hand side of car park on the road that exits the car park... It is alongside the B3430 Nine Mile Ride. A webpage with the look out address details (on the right of the map), map and directions is available [urlOnce you've parked up, unloaded your dandyweapon of choice and checked your "tyre choice for Swinley?" thread then come join me underneath the trees to the right just as you go though the Go-Ape gates. [b][u]ARE THERE ANY RULES?[/b][/u] Rules? Wouldn't that ruin the spirit of such a friendly chilled ride? Well yes it would if it was all taken too seriously, however there are some pointers that are worth getting out of the way now, fingers crossed they don't come across as super-strict rules.. more pieces of advice to make your ride and everyone else's that little bit more enjoyable. [b]1)[/b] Bring your own spares, [b]2)[/b] Bring your own camelback/water, [b]3)[/b] Wear a helmet if you've got one or do your own risk assessment and dont, [b]4)[/b] Bring your own mid-ride snacks, dont want any "bonking" now do we ;) [b]5)[/b] Route will be decided upon the day by the "leaders" of each group and will be dependent on any trail closures/conditions... [b]6)[/b] If LOTS of people turn up then we might need to break up into more than 2 groups, best to decide this on the day. [b]7)[/b] As with the last sexyparty...In the spirit of a beginners/gentle/nothing-too-serious-ride I will be wearing full on downhill pyjamas, I will ride a carrera from Halfords and I will make sure any bike snobs out there will be mortally offended by my blatant disregard for the unwritten rules of MTB... so if anyone is worrying about what they ride or their choice of lycra, relax as you wont be judged! [b]8 )[/b] We ride at the pace of the slowest rider in each group, or we ride at our own pace and wait at the top of the next hill/section/junction for others to catch up. [b]9)[/b] No pressure on anyone to do things they are not happy with as it's all about having fun! Walking certain sections/hills will not be frowned upon. [b]10)[/b] Due to potentially large numbers of riders, please don't bring your dogs as chances are mrsconsequence will ride into them whilst distracted by their awesomeness... She is still learning the hard way that you ride into what you're looking at. [u]Drink/nicotine/crack-pipes disclaimer:[/u] I dont really feel the need to tell people to be considerate, so I'll just say that people are people and will do what they want, but in the spirit of...

cinnamon_girl

Posts: 17843

Hey - this is going to be one big Sexy Party. 😀

Looking forward to meeting new faces plus the regulars. 8)

Posted : 14/02/2011 11:38 pm

Bunnyhop

Posts: 9619

Full Member

Due to ice and snow fun in Scotland at the beginning of March I shall not be attending

Same here, otherwise it sounds like fun.

Its taken me an hour to read all the info. and rules 🙂

Posted : 14/02/2011 11:39 pm

lowey

Posts: 5942

Full Member

After recent events, I'd love to come. But its just too far for a day.

Have fun all!

Posted : 14/02/2011 11:45 pm

captaindanger

Posts: 0

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I'm in!

Posted : 14/02/2011 11:51 pm

Gephaudio

Posts: 1

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I am in, plus friend, but waiting for bike to come back from Stanley, Falkland Islands.

Posted : 15/02/2011 12:11 am

scaredypants

Posts: 25941

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I'm out

They were very clear in the court, next time I'm sexy at Swinley I'm in big trouble

(and the wife's left me with the kids that weekend, too)

Bah - every ****in time 😐

Posted : 15/02/2011 12:27 am

Elfinsafety

Posts: 0

Free Member

Scadey, just dose them up with Valium, and lock them indoors. They'll be ok.

waiting for bike to come back from Stanley, Falkland Islands

Did you make a wrong turn on the M3? 😯

Does the Isle of Wight ferry stop off there?

I don't know these things you see. I rarely venture beyond the outer limits of the Tube zones....

Posted : 15/02/2011 12:30 am

cinnamon_girl

Posts: 17843

but waiting for bike to come back from Stanley, Falkland Islands.

Blimey, it must be a cracking lbs. 😀

Posted : 15/02/2011 12:32 am

scaredypants

Posts: 25941

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just dose them up with [s]Valium[/s] rohypnol, and lock them indoors

I see you like to get "sexy" too elf - be careful

oh, I see. The kids 😳

Posted : 15/02/2011 12:34 am

Elfinsafety

Posts: 0

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Oh dear it's gone horribly wrong...

(Runs away)

Posted : 15/02/2011 12:35 am

Gephaudio

Posts: 1

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but waiting for bike to come back from Stanley, Falkland Islands.

Went out for two weeks, but needed to come back after one week, in doing so had to leave bike there. Waiting for RAF to bring said bike back. Great biking though

Posted : 15/02/2011 12:39 am

philconsequence

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Topic starter

Its taken me an hour to read all the info. and rules

only an hour?

you can't have read it properly! 😛

Posted : 15/02/2011 7:51 am

atlaz

Posts: 9238

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If I'm not on a plane and Swinley isn't a swamp that weekend.

Posted : 15/02/2011 9:08 am

rOcKeTdOg

Posts: 24440

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had the green light from one NW Alper so expect clown wheels and ugly bike to be in attendance

Posted : 15/02/2011 9:12 am

philconsequence

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Topic starter

OK, TSY has suggested something, something beautiful... something I can't find fault with.... so:

I'm going to politely suggest that everyone coming along to the SwinleySexyParty donates a couple of quid to the Team Bullheart Just Giving page.

[url= http://www.justgiving.com/TeamBullheart ]http://www.justgiving.com/TeamBullheart <---- CLICKY![/url]

I'm not going to suggest an specific amount or ask you to prove to me that you've donated with receipts and stuff, but if posting this encourages a couple more people to donate to the cause then, as the kidz say, it's all good in tha hood.

Posted : 15/02/2011 9:51 am

rOcKeTdOg

Posts: 24440

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Aleigh just asked me to say, if it's a sexy party , she'll definately be there (she did mention lube but i'm not going to post that bit)

Posted : 15/02/2011 10:13 am

philconsequence

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Topic starter

lube? sexy parties (if sexy enough) don't need lube 8)

Posted : 15/02/2011 10:58 am

DezB

Posts: 54367

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Me & me dawg are comin 🙂

Posted : 15/02/2011 11:17 am

Elfinsafety

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Dez has you wife seen the Beautiful Thing yet?

Posted : 15/02/2011 11:20 am

DezB

Posts: 54367

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Of course!
Oh, sorry. You mean that picture don't you?

Posted : 15/02/2011 11:25 am

WorldClassAccident

Posts: 13588

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I will be there in spirit but unfortunately not in body as I have an all night sex party the night before.

Posted : 15/02/2011 11:28 am

philconsequence

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Topic starter

a real man would continue the riding into the next day WCA.... 😈

Posted : 15/02/2011 11:29 am

WorldClassAccident

Posts: 13588

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I will be, that's why I won't be able to get to Swinley

😉

Posted : 15/02/2011 11:30 am

philconsequence

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Topic starter

i believe i've been pwnd.

well played sir.

Posted : 15/02/2011 11:32 am

DezB

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Feeling slightly queesy

Posted : 15/02/2011 11:32 am

philconsequence

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you don't find the thought of WCA riding alllllll night long sexy? 😉

Posted : 15/02/2011 1:08 pm

WorldClassAccident

Posts: 13588

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Bring fresh houmous and you can join me

Posted : 15/02/2011 2:07 pm

Elfinsafety

Posts: 0

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What about if someone crashes and breaks a leg and has to be destroyed? Shall I bring a gun?

It's the kindest way....

Captive bolt gun? Will need a trailer for the compressed air canister mind, unless someone can cobble together something with a CO2 cartridge. Fancy a little project WCA?

[img] [/img]

Posted : 15/02/2011 2:11 pm

MrHappyJack

Posts: 0

Free Member

I shall fire up the might VW and pootle down, along with my regular riding buddy. Be good to meet some of the STW-ers.

First post ever on STW - waves 😀

Posted : 15/02/2011 2:29 pm

DaRC_L

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Ahhh wiffey has just requested the Freedi neet for a works do, so it's a definite maybe to pop my STW ride cherry...

Posted : 15/02/2011 2:37 pm

philconsequence

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Topic starter

*waves*

be good to have you along!

Posted : 15/02/2011 2:52 pm

mboy

Posts: 12651

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rOcKeTdOg - Member

had the green light from one NW Alper so expect clown wheels and ugly bike to be in attendance

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder rocketdog, but I'm assuming you mean Matt and his Maverick...

In which case, I shall have to bring mine, seeing as these days it's way more unique than a clown wheeled bike (which I also still have!)

Posted : 15/02/2011 2:57 pm

goatboyisheretopleaseyou

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😀

Posted : 15/02/2011 3:02 pm

philconsequence

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Topic starter

goatboy, can you make a bell ring inside me?

Posted : 15/02/2011 3:04 pm

goatboyisheretopleaseyou

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HAHAHA

Posted : 15/02/2011 3:09 pm

philconsequence

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Topic starter

see you at swinley oh dark lord!

Posted : 15/02/2011 3:10 pm

DezB

Posts: 54367

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I bought a special new record to play on the day

[img] [/img]

Posted : 15/02/2011 3:14 pm

goatboyisheretopleaseyou

Posts: 0

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yes you will phil, loving this plan

Posted : 15/02/2011 3:26 pm

lungman

Posts: 20

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I'll be in, again popping my sTW ride cheery woop woop!

Posted : 15/02/2011 3:28 pm

mulacs

Posts: 476

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Can I come too? Pretty shy but looking for excuses to get out on the bike.
Should we prepare name badges?

Posted : 15/02/2011 3:29 pm

DezB

Posts: 54367

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My name badge is still stuck on my helmet peak from last time. Can't get the damn thing off!

Posted : 15/02/2011 3:31 pm

thisisnotaspoon

Posts: 41848

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Yea, those stickers were harder to get off than electronic tags!

Posted : 15/02/2011 3:50 pm

philconsequence

Posts: 0

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Topic starter

mulacs... more than welcome!

name badges do feel a little weird, but i have to admit it was useful considering how many people turned up last time!

Posted : 15/02/2011 3:58 pm

aleigh

Posts: 0

Free Member

I won't need a name badge....you won't be able to forget me and my noise! 😆

Posted : 15/02/2011 7:28 pm

singletrackmind

Posts: 7279

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Hiya Screamer!!!

Posted : 15/02/2011 7:30 pm

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