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Ok folks, im after some advice here with regards to looking after your house / wife /relationship in regards to your winter biking exploits.
I only get to ride once a week. This is a night ride with the local group, great fun, which takes us out and about over Calderdale. The downside to the immense amount of fun I have is getting in at 11pm to a wifi that’s been in bed for an hour and is fast asleep. Waking her up is like prodding a sleeping bear and I’m bound to get some hassle if I do. So stealthily I pop the bike away get into the kitchen and start doing the strip of shame. This is where it goes wrong.
The kitchen gets covered in much, mud, cow muck etc you name it I’ve probably been splattered with it while hooning (slowly skidding) through the woods. When im stripping off it just seems like a shit grenade has gone off and splattered the doors, floor etc.
So I need to stop this now and put inplace a way of making sure I can go to bed leaving no trace that ive been out the night before. At the moment im sure youll agree we have had a cracking year and the tails arnt really that bad. In another month this will be a different mater and the fallout from the ride much worse.
So how do you manage all your muddy crap. I literally have to leave no trace ive been out else ill incur the wrath.
My current setup is get home, pop the bike away, shake self down. Take shoes off outside the house. Step onto mat inside and strip while not leaving the door mat. Then stuff everything in the washer and get in the shower. How can I stop the mud going everywhere when I strip? What do you do with your shoes caked in mud?
Cheers
Have you tried turning the router off and on again?
Strip off outside dude. Better to upset the neighbours than the wifi.
Get a new wife(i) 🙂
I think she needs to get over herself if you go for a ride once a week.
Grow some balls.
I don't usually have wifi in bed but each to their own.
I ride in gear that covers my legs and arms so I'm not muddy underneath. After a ride put my bike away then go round to the back door and get stark bollock naked before I go in, donning a pair of shreddies strategically placed near the door. Bish bosh, no shit up the walls
Strip down to your bibs/undershorts outside, put everything in polly bag and leave it in the shed/garage until your ready to wash it.
Hose down bike, clean, dry, lube; put in shed/garage. Clothes off outside; hose down them and you, put clothes in bag/basket. Step onto mat in house- preferably into utility room. Grab waiting towel; head to shower. Put clothes in washing machine; bed.
This sounds like my Monday Nighter, once I made the mistake of hosing myself down outside in the teeth of winter. This is a bad idea, it will most likely lead to hypothermia.
Instead after a particularly messy session I strip down at the front door to my Lycra padded under shorts and skip merrily inside to the shower, returning to collect the sodden and foul smelling pile of clothes. If this is particularly bad I will hose these off before they go in the machine.
Then I wake the wife up for some sexy time. (In my dreams)
Undress in the garden and put dirty kit in a trug
I sleep in the spare bed in a sleeping bag liner to keep the mud off the bedclothes.
Get a portable pressure washer and wash the bike and then yourself enough so the mud doesn't fall off.
Can you not leave the bike in the car ? Or is there no access to the rear of the house/garden?
Get a tarp to put just inside the front door, or kitchen, to put the bike on - and a small stand to keep it upright.
Stip outside (dressing gown) or strip into an ikea bag everything into the bag it being big enough to catch crap.
Alternatively if I make a mess in the kitchen I strip down there, using my inner 'just wet' garments to wipe down the area folding it all together and into the washer or laundry basket etc.
Got to love the auto correct, which phone are you using ?
To avoid said problem I usually change in the car park or outside the back door. Just strip off outside and put all your kit into a plastic bag. Then you need some hotel slippers/flip flops to walk to the shower. Take off rest of your kit in the shower / bath not on bathroom floor.
@Turner guy are you saying you don;t have a shower before going to bed after a muddy ride !!! 😯
Set up one of these:
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wear baggies over lycra and strip to the lycra before entering the house. Tiptoe gently to the shower depositing dirty kit in the washer on the way. It helps if you have a garage joined to the house but works even if you don't (one of my group has a short sprint to the house, performed in shorts only in all weathers).
Obviously you still have the challenge of getting into bed without disturbing your wife but you're going to have to figure that out on your own...
just remembered a workmate's story of when he was a student and had a summer job in a rendering plant. He said his mother used to turn the hose on him in the garden before he was allowed in the house!
OP is cleverly referencing the "wife signal" thread, surely?
But in answer to the question - get undressed outside you fanny.
😉
I brush the worst mud off outside then take my muddy kit off standing in the bath and chuck it all in the sink ready to carry to washing machine after a shower. Seems to work well for me.
TurnerGuy - Member
I sleep in the spare bed in a sleeping bag liner to keep the mud off the bedclothes.
You know you can take a shower right? It isn't the 19th century.
Moonbags are good for this. Open out, strip, shoes and all
Pull the cords and its all contained inside.
@Turner guy are you saying you don;t have a shower before going to bed after a muddy ride !!!
You know you can take a shower right? It isn't the 19th century.
wife is asleep - shower motor would wake her up...
Another solution would be a onesie by the front door - just step into it and all the mud is enclosed.
Following any really muddy rides I strip down to bibs/base layer in the back garden (wearing Crocks), peg all the muddy kit on the washing line and hose it off straight away ,step inside, check the washing machine is empty, pop back out retrieve the wet kit from the line and bundle it straight in the machine (before I'm spotted), put it on a full 30*C wash cycle with and extra rinse (Learn how to operate your washing machine) and I'm done...
Yes its a couple of extra minutes of being cold in the garden but If I leave it in a pile outside or hanging on the line and go get in the shower, I know I'll forget, go to bed instead and then have to explain the pile of frozen muddy rags by the back door to my missus in the morning...
If it's just a little muddy, I'll hang up jackets and overshorts in the Garage let it dry out naturally, knock the lumps off later and put up with it being a little grubby on the next ride or two, there's no point over washing kit....
WiFi comes from I saw a sign saying free WiFi in the pub and I thought it would be a good idea.
Turns out it's far from free.
Good suggestions folks so far
wear baggies over lycra and strip to the lycra before entering the house.
This.
Hose bike and self down outside. I then carry bike into the utility room. Peel of outer layers and bung in washing machine if I remember. Tiptoe up for a shower, on return discover that items left on the floor have been dried by the underfloor heating.
Sorted 🙂
wife is asleep - shower motor would wake her up...
That qualifies as high maintenance 😉
OP yes those IKEA bags (suggested above) or the plastic ones from homebase/b&Q are good. I got a DuffBag one free which is good too.
have a look at these sort of things - various sizes, cheap and excellent, good for car boot too
That qualifies as high maintenance
power shower so motor is quite loud...
Bike ride, beer, shower, sh@g for the perfect day. The power shower motor can be the foreplay, no ? 🙂
Some of the posters need to ask themselves who wears the trousers in their household!
Some of the posters need to ask themselves who wears the trousers in their household!
Not me, took them off in the garden as they were a bit mucky...
Some of the posters need to ask themselves who wears the trousers in their household!
or what decade they are living in...
Wow, if I was in a relationship where I couldn't even have a shower while she was asleep then I would not be there.
I can understand not turning the light and the stereo on while jumping on the bed if she is sleeping but having a shower after doing some excercise...come on!
Its not like the shower lasts for 8 hours and she has to get up to wash you.
eh? v easy.
Arrive home. Throw a bucket of water over the bike. Get naked outside and knock the worst of the mud off the exposed parts. Put kit in bucket to soak/forget about/wash later. Have shower, eat food. Bed
Wow, if I was in a relationship where I couldn't even have a shower while she was asleep then I would not be there.
it depends what time of night it is, doesn't it?
I could have a shower if I wanted I just choose to not disturb the wife. She would probably sleep through the shower pump noise but as I will be getting up at 6am and probably having another 'wake-up' shower that is two possible disturbances within 6 hours...
The sleeping bag liner and the availability of a comfortable double bed in the other bedroom minimizes the disturbances and lets me read a technical book if I need some prompting to go to sleep...
TG just to be clear I was only joking, clearly none of my business.
No man should wear a onesie! It's the law
This bike bag should solve some of your issues - and it is on sale :
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http://www.presentsformen.co.uk/qwerkity/bike-bags-prod13877/
How about you explain your dilemma to your wife?
If she is a reasonable sort, by virtue of explaining the lengths that you are going to trying to be considerate to her, she may well give you some slack.
In our home, it helps that we both MTB, but when he takes that route I'm always going to try help him out.
Communication ...........
Put some dust sheets down before leaving the house, come back, strip off and bundle all the dirty stuff in dust sheets.
I'm so glad that I met the present Mrs yunki..
Pretty much every time I think I'm about to get a bollocking for my (pretty innocuous to be fair) antics, she is genuinely flabbergasted that I'd even considered my behaviour to be possibly slightly bad form..
Livin the dream 🙂
Do you liv in a house or a flat? If it's a house can't you just get undressed in the garden?
If you want clean legs wear full length tights or leg warmers