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As title. No wrong answers.
My pen!s.
Other people’s skid marks
A big button
A velcro closure
Oh and water proofness 🤡
Leg holes
Loose change
Walleaters penis
My big butt and I cannot lie, you other brothers can't deny.
Spare change.
a nice view and somewhere dry to sit and eat my butty
Car keys. Start there first then move to jersey pockets, camelback, floor...
Not too short and not too long.
Secure pockets.
Waterproof.
Walleaters penis.
Kayaks butt.
Like me, my shorts need to be simple.
Few pockets. Little faff. Cut well so they don't flap like washing on Shetland.
I'm with Matt. Usually carry stuff in Jersey pockets or a pack, so no need for pockets, it's about cut, ventilation, length, waterproof backside
Well fitted is most important, there's no need to wear 'baggy' shorts ever.
I like where madison have their phone pocket, down the back off the thigh at an angle, you don't feel it riding and it's fairly well protected.
No velcro, never any need for it.
Splash proof arse
Tbf the best shorts I have are the polaris ones with braces and anti clag patch that goes up your back
Anal seepage.
Like me, my shorts need to be simple.
Few pockets. Little faff. Cut well so they don’t flap like washing on Shetland.
Assuming were talking baggies.
Winter: Altura Attack waterproofs.
Summer: Decathlon B'twin 500
Enough pockets to stash something while you faff, lightweight, not baggy.
Only improvement would be I really appreciate the OS sized rear pockets on endura humvees. But otherwise the enduras are a bit heavyweight.
something to get me over the next doubles
Belt loops not adjusters.
Pocket for an os map.
Fitted not baggy. Sit just above knee without riding up and exposing skin if pads worn.
This morning I found a grey pubic hair.
but were you looking for it?
belt loops. is it really so flipping difficult? if the shorts are sized bob on i can do without, if they're not, i can stick a belt in them myself. adjusters are always bulky affairs, generally precisely where i don't want them. i saw a mag review once that said something along the lines of 'adjusters, so you don't have a belt buckle digging in'. really? can't say it's ever bothered me when sitting at a desk, or driving, or on any other occasion.
a decent button or buttons, or large velcro patch, not a popper that is so tight it ends up pulling through the cloth it's put through.
other than that, a couple of decent hand pockets, preferably without scratchy velcro or zips which scrape your wrists, and as noted above, the madison thigh pocket is great for the phone.
there's a ton of superfluous shite added to riding shorts. zipped vents? why FFS!?
I just use roadie lycra shorts on MTB, with a rear crud catcher to prevent a wet arse.
