well that was a first!
Myself and two others have been out for a long road ride, very nice it was too! Leamington spa to Broadwell where we had a cracking luncheon and beautiful sunshine too-both of which i feel are getting harder to find in this country, anyway i digress.
So on our return leg we were all flagging a little when trundling back into Leamington town and there i was trying to keep our tiny band of cyclist in good cheer and attempting to jolly along the back-markers by gentle jibbing and personal insults, you know how it is. Whereupon a funny, clown like car i believe it is a micra, screeched past me a quite a disrespectful speed to the 30mph set by our Queen and God. So, me being me and unable to engage the budding Sterling Moss in a healthy discussion about his driving etiquette,I allowed myself a simple gesticulation which alleviated my chagrin ever so slightly. This must have touched a raw nerve with our friend, as soon as my hand had come down the brake lights flashed and the bubble car slowed quite rapidly. In these situations one is faced with a fight or flight response, and as regional(warks)runner up of the yellow band of cowardice '89-'96 i usually opt for the former. Unfortunately one of my riding companions is not so versed in the ways of our French cousins so with a sudden burst of previously unseen speed, dove upon the micra uttering expletives of which would make a 'navvy blush. Our motorised brother then decided to re-enter the race he was quite clearly in but didnt realise that my angered comrade in lycra was clutching onto the micra's rear window so once again the rear lights flashed and loomed large in my iridium lenses, so much so that while i was flying through the air a new sport of cycling/gymnastics occured to me-maybe one for the 2012 international games?
Lying on the soft grass verge the scene then became even stranger as our, tormentor leapt from his carriage wearing all the trappings of trained assasin type.
I thought 'me in full lycra and him in karate pyjamas would make an excellent tableau'
Needles to say, we both backed down as its hard to muster the energy to fight after 100 hard earned miles and wearing silly shoes, while your opponent is only a black belt.
be careful out there my fellow riders.
**** me! Stuart Hall rides a bike.
Annoying for you all but amusingly written!
I have no idea what happened, can someone explain.
Tired roadies get arsey with speeding Micra driver, Micra driver turns out to be ninja. Nothing else happens.
Btw - black belts are ten a penny these days, in most cases if you pay your subs you get your belt, it's a sad state as a lot of clubs are now run for profit which means giving the customer what they want (ie. a black belt within 2 years)
I rarely meet black belts these days who I genuinely think deserve it - I would say 4th dan is about the equivalent to what a black belt used to represent 10 years ago or so.
Anyway I ramble.....
Couldn't agree more DT.
I've 'sat down' many a 'blackbelt' when I was cross training with other arts in the 90's.
Doesn't phase me at all when someone comes out with that little gem.
I thought the whole point of martial arts was to be chilled out and not get into confrontation, but have the skills to back it up if you do? I could be wrong about this.
Maybe he was on his way to a fancy dress party.
Do blackbelts drive around in their kit all the time or just on their way to/from karate happenings?
LOL 🙂 Good read 🙂 Are you a writer 😉
I wear one like this every day. Nothing special.
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I wonder what the Micra drivers account on "Single Chop World" or what ever forum he will be using will read like? 😆
What torsoinalake said
lol
inspired by Robert Rankin?
Btw - black belts are ten a penny these days, in most cases if you pay your subs you get your belt, it's a sad state as a lot of clubs are now run for profit which means giving the customer what they want (ie. a black belt within 2 years)
I rarely meet black belts these days who I genuinely think deserve it - I would say 4th dan is about the equivalent to what a black belt used to represent 10 years ago or so.
Agreed. In fact some of the best kickboxers I know haven't even bothered with belts. They just get great competition results. Got to brown belt in karate when I was 13 - but moved away before I got to black. I was well into it but hadn't been going for all that long. 7 years kickboxing was far more valuable. Most martial artists worth anything use their training to help awareness - and that awareness often comes up with the conclusion that it's best to run away or diffuse a situation verbally.
The movie style "whoop ass" scenarios are very rare indeed. If you are a black belt in anything but have never had a "real" fight then you are well equipped as an old man in a sumo wrestling suit.
I am glad I got my black belt 12 years ago then 😉
Julian Usually no 😉
I think 10 years is being generous, it was like that over 20 years ago when I was doing it in the late eighties.
I've found it the reverse now my sons doing Tang soo doo where they have to take a minimum amount of lessons for each belt and going twice a year equates to about a 4 year wait for a black belt whereas when I did Tae Kwon Do it was 2 years and all sorts of heberts got a black belt.
Nicely written story by the OP
I'm not reading all that.
Your loss Mike, it's quite funny. 🙂
Do they do karate strippograms? Just doens't sound like karate-master-like peaceful resolution of conflict, and I am wondering why else he might have been so upset...
One of my distant relatives was a judo black belt, and did his judo thing all over the world, in the 1970s. He's built like a bloomin' bear but nevertheless three guys tried to mug him. He is actually as meek as a lamb but nevertheless suggested they back off as he was a black belt. They laughed and went for him anyway. He walked out of the alley, they didn't. He wandered off to the police station, reported it and told them where to find them. The cops said they weren't bothered as they had received a good kicking for their trouble and probably wouldn't do it again. A case from the Gene Hunt from the plods then!
I'm not reading all that.
Thanks for letting us know.
I'm not reading all that.Thanks for letting us know.
No problem.
Oh come on, black belt or not he's going to go down if enough of you sit on him surely. 🙂
Did he do that flying thing from Crouching Dragon or whatever it was called...
Is the windmill, as used to great effect by my little sister as children, still a recognised attack mechanism...
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the English way :)[/url]
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thank you for the compliments.
judo chop!!
