Forum menu
I am the UK's ...
 

[Closed] I am the UK's fastest, fattest mountain bike racer.

Posts: 0
Free Member
Topic starter
 
[#2701522]

I'm probably not really, but you can't beat a controversial topic title for saving a thread from the obscurity of dropping off page 1 with no replies. ๐Ÿ˜‰

I threw down the Chunky Challenge at Hit the North last year and nobody took it up, so I think I can rightfully claim to be the fastest 90+kg rider at that event.

This year, I'll make it a bit more general.
Some of us are never going to catch the racing snakes who win endurance events, so let's have a challenge of our own to add some interest.
The rules are open to discussion, but I'm thinking no minimum weight limit or waist size, just anyone who thinks wearing XXL lycra shorts in public is acceptable behaviour.

Not all events have a veteran's class, so I can't see them ever having a heavyweight class, so this will have to be all unofficial.
I ride as fast as I can, but at the end of the day, I'm just a chubby duffer riding a bike round and round a field looking for like minded and like bodied people to race against.
If you want to join in, sign up here.


 
Posted : 28/04/2011 11:22 pm
Posts: 13356
Free Member
 

I would Graham but I'm just too heavy!


 
Posted : 28/04/2011 11:24 pm
Posts: 10199
Full Member
 

most of the crap fatties are riding bikes in Belgium this weekend at the SSEC so you'll have little competition. Get yourself to the SSUK in september and you can have drinking competitions the night before/during and after and ride singlespeeds with lardy dress wearing attetnionmongers ๐Ÿ˜€


 
Posted : 28/04/2011 11:25 pm
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

Cough Lardy?


 
Posted : 28/04/2011 11:27 pm
Posts: 10199
Full Member
 

I wasn't thinking of you darling (well not in that context anyway) ๐Ÿ˜‰

not in Belgium ?


 
Posted : 28/04/2011 11:29 pm
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

Did'nt there used to be a Clydesdale class for the larger rider, or was that just in the U.S ?


 
Posted : 28/04/2011 11:31 pm
Posts: 5559
Free Member
 

i will take you in fastest vegan and we get lardy v skinny thrown in for free
Winner gets to feel even more superior than we usually do 8)


 
Posted : 28/04/2011 11:31 pm
Posts: 10199
Full Member
 

i will take you in fastest vegan and we get lardy v skinny thrown in for free
Winner gets to feel even more [s]superior[/s] miserable and craving bacon than we usually do

that's better ๐Ÿ˜†


 
Posted : 28/04/2011 11:33 pm
Posts: 453
Free Member
 

Would consider it ..... but if skinny little scrawny 90Kg runts can be involved why bother????

(130KG)Fastest really fat Barsteward around (probably not really though).

David


 
Posted : 28/04/2011 11:34 pm
Posts: 6947
Full Member
 

I'll take you on Graham - currently obese on the BMI, and finding it no obstacle to climbing like a mountain goat, and descending like the wrath of God. Just name the challenge - but please no endurance bolex, I've got pies and ale to see to.


 
Posted : 28/04/2011 11:40 pm
Posts: 5559
Free Member
 

๐Ÿ˜† @tazzy


 
Posted : 28/04/2011 11:42 pm
Posts: 0
Full Member
 

Think there should be a minimum weight limit or something BMI related!


 
Posted : 28/04/2011 11:48 pm
Posts: 5047
Full Member
 

its not whos going the fastest, its whos having the most fun.
i think someone famous said that, but i cant remember who.
im in the 130kg class too.


 
Posted : 29/04/2011 12:55 am
Posts: 0
Free Member
Topic starter
 

Yeah, I guess BMI score would be the way to do it.
Mine's currently 27.5, so I suggest we set that as the lower limit, otherwise I'll end up excluded from my own challenge.
We could set the limit at 30, which is the official definition of obesity. It just means that at 6'1", I'd have to drink 9 litres of water before the weigh in at the start of the race to make 104kg.


 
Posted : 29/04/2011 1:17 am
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

Well at 5ft5 n3/4 and 92 kgI think I'm in. Thats a bmi of 32, how do we measure how quick we are? Can we do a rdti? (Relative distance travelled index) given that I am only 5"6' I think I shouldn't have to go as far as the 6 footers in the same time?


 
Posted : 29/04/2011 2:07 am
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

Junkyard - Member
i will take you in fastest vegan
[url= http://www.****/femail/article-1352393/Real-men-eat-meat-say-women-turn-noses-vegetarians.html ]Don't shoot the messenger. [/url] ๐Ÿ˜‰


 
Posted : 29/04/2011 5:11 am
Posts: 71
Free Member
 

The US certainly did have a Clydesdale category for you fat buggers.

Personally, I think you should just lose some weight, rather than celebrate your life shortening girth...

**jogs away casually, knowing the fatties will be distracted by pie rather than giving chase**

๐Ÿ™‚


 
Posted : 29/04/2011 8:41 am
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

just anyone who thinks wearing XXL lycra shorts in public is acceptable behaviour.

and for that reason I'm out.

6'2" 105kg safely encased in baggies thank you.


 
Posted : 29/04/2011 8:50 am
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

Can we call it the Fray-Bentos class...

My uni mates tied empty Fray-Bentos tins to my bumper when I got married.


 
Posted : 29/04/2011 9:07 am
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

๐Ÿ˜ฏ


 
Posted : 29/04/2011 9:31 am
 GW
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

90kg? surely that's about average weight for STWers ๐Ÿ˜•

riding round a field is incredibly dull, I reckon you should put an event for fatties on at Glencoe DH track, it'd be like a human easter egg rolling sesion. ๐Ÿ˜€ There's a decent cafe at the bottom fo full english breakfasts ๐Ÿ˜‰


 
Posted : 29/04/2011 9:40 am
Posts: 91168
Free Member
 

US races do indeed have a Clydesdale class.

You need to have a speed/fatness ratio. So the 130kg riders would not have to go as fast.

OR just have handicap race. Everyone has to wear weights to get them up to 130kg. That'd wipe the smug grin off Njee's face I'm sure ๐Ÿ˜‰


 
Posted : 29/04/2011 9:41 am
Posts: 9139
Full Member
 

I weight 91.6 kg, but would not describe myself as fat. I'm 6' 5" so am getting close to racing snake territory.

How about going for a %bodyfat classification instead?


 
Posted : 29/04/2011 9:42 am
Posts: 7935
Free Member
 

I'm over 90 kilos, but riding round a field? You can F*******g keep it.

๐Ÿ‘ฟ


 
Posted : 29/04/2011 9:45 am
Posts: 0
Free Member
Topic starter
 

Maybe some sort of handicapping system would be the way to go.
10 laps at 130kg = 13 laps at 100kg = 20 laps at 65kg


 
Posted : 29/04/2011 9:47 am
 GW
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

or 0 laps if you have enjoy riding decent terrain


 
Posted : 29/04/2011 9:50 am
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

let's have a fat class at the next brownbacks race at lee quarry?


 
Posted : 29/04/2011 9:54 am
Posts: 23340
Full Member
 

Brilliant. ๐Ÿ˜€

If I was still running events I'd have the "Fray Bentos" class. To qualify you would have to heavier than my shed with a bike in it. The winner would get a box of "Waffer-Thin" mints.


 
Posted : 29/04/2011 9:58 am
Posts: 5559
Free Member
 

Menatal Mickey I am so upset I might write a letter now if only I could find the pen in my handbag

'Through abstaining from meat, a widely established symbol of power, status and masculinity, it seems that the vegetarian man is perceived as more principled, but less manly, than his omnivorous counterpart....
vegetarians are seen as pacifist, weight-conscious and liberal, while fast-food lovers are perceived as patriotic, pro-nuclear and conservative.

up yours fascist ๐Ÿ˜‰
The steretyping would seem broadly true but IME a vegie would rather date a veggie. Dont care if I am seen as a wimp tbh.


 
Posted : 29/04/2011 10:03 am
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

should get a pie eating class sorted, get it sponsored by holland pies who are local to Lee quarry. 1 hour of up and down racing to see who is the fastest fatty ๐Ÿ˜€

would be the best race class ever ๐Ÿ˜€


 
Posted : 29/04/2011 10:11 am
Posts: 91168
Free Member
 

I'm over 90 kilos, but riding round a field?

Why do people think XC racing is riding around a field?


 
Posted : 29/04/2011 10:15 am
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

bmi 27.5 here. Apparently ( according to folk on the Wednesday ride) I am a racing snake - that ate a wild boar

so I like the idea of a "pastry positive" racing class especially if there is a super veterans sub category.


 
Posted : 29/04/2011 10:17 am
Posts: 91168
Free Member
 

Oh, BMI 26.5 here.


 
Posted : 29/04/2011 10:19 am
Posts: 7935
Free Member
 

Why do people think XC racing is riding around a field?

Because the OP said its what he does?


 
Posted : 29/04/2011 10:26 am
 GW
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

๐Ÿ˜†

no improvement in your idiot rating yet then molgrips? ๐Ÿ˜‰


 
Posted : 29/04/2011 10:34 am
 ton
Posts: 24281
Full Member
 

i can ride a bit for a fat bloke.............when well.
130kg's and 33% bmi.


 
Posted : 29/04/2011 10:36 am
Posts: 151
Free Member
 

94kg and 12% bf here. Wouldn't take much to get down to 90kg and 10%.

Not sure I'd want to be associated with Chunkies mind. ๐Ÿ˜ณ


 
Posted : 29/04/2011 11:11 am
Posts: 91168
Free Member
 

Apparently not GW. Although that seems to be subjective ๐Ÿ™‚

If you want to ride around a field take up cyclocross.


 
Posted : 29/04/2011 11:12 am
Posts: 5559
Free Member
 

21 BMI am I out then?
You would expect a proper cyclist to be a bit heavier as muscle weighs more than fat


 
Posted : 29/04/2011 12:29 pm
Posts: 91168
Free Member
 

That's what I keep holding onto JY ๐Ÿ™‚


 
Posted : 29/04/2011 12:31 pm
Posts: 5559
Free Member
 

no its true I know an endurance female cyclists who looks tiny [ 5 foot ish] and weighs about the same as me and she no fat on her
I also weigh more than when i was a footy [badly I am not an ex pro ]but I have a smaller waist than then.
having been on some stw rides it is clearly not true for all of us ๐Ÿ˜‰


 
Posted : 29/04/2011 12:35 pm
 ton
Posts: 24281
Full Member
 

johnnie..........easy man ๐Ÿ˜‰


 
Posted : 29/04/2011 12:36 pm
Posts: 91168
Free Member
 

Yes it is true JY, muscle is more dense but not by all that much apparently.

Also you have a heavier skeleton when you do a sport that involves shock and vibrations.


 
Posted : 29/04/2011 12:48 pm
Posts: 151
Free Member
 

๐Ÿ˜† There's a lot of excuses being chucked about by the pie eaters ๐Ÿ˜‰


 
Posted : 29/04/2011 12:51 pm
Posts: 0
Free Member
Topic starter
 

I'm stout and I'm proud.


 
Posted : 29/04/2011 1:00 pm
Page 1 / 2