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To my shame I now recall a 'little' incident we dreamed up as kids. We only did this to cars so no cyclists were harmed. 😀
Timing was everything....one of us would go to the other side of the road and as the car approached we'd both 'pretend' to pull on an imaginary rope.
Most drivers would just drive by laughing but I do remember one old lady hit the anchors big style and ended up doing a rather long loud screechy skid (probably on her seat too!)....we basically crapped ourselves and bolted! 😳 Funny now but if any of my kids ever did this I'd skin them alive!
I once had several 'empty' coke cans thrown at me from a passing car...it was in Dundee so that's not altogether surprising. 😉
The best one liner has to be from a builders site in Glasgow as I cycled by "...the last time I saw a pair of legs like that, they were hanging out of a poachers bag..." 😆
I once had someone lean out of a car and shout "118 got your number"
Which was strange as I don't have a moustache or ride in a running vest.
Made me laugh though.
Had the back wheel jokes a few time too
I usually get the hilarious yet hurtful 'BWAAAARGH!!!'
I've had a carful of girls shout 'nice arse' then get caught at the junction, made my day
I'm almost tempted to move aside and side-kick the next one that does this
I'd recommend a swift side-kick to the headtube. Works a treat.
Must be a regional thing, but I normally get 'here mister, your chain's flat'. I now keep a chain pump in my bag.
A little girl (about 7 or 8) shouted "Fag**t" last week.
Couldn't see who else she might have been shouting at, but maybe i'm paranoid and its a cool new trend in Finsbury.
it's not just motorists and peds that do it, got shouted at by BMXers a few times while out on my MTB and while commuting, my favourite is still the time they yelled 'Oy mountain biker ****t! Gears are for Queers!' at me.... while I was riding a single speed 🙄
Have had the back wheel line before, and McDonalds thrown at me. And "Chris Hoy!". And most recently "get a f* cycle ya c*".... which I couldn't make any sense of.
I can't remember being shouted at here in sunny London, but I'd take that over the bmw that decided it wanted the exact bit of road that I was currently occupying and then moved into it without indicating. Lane discipline is something that happens to other people round here.
Had the BBBBLLLLLAAAAAHHHHH out of the window of a chavs Corsa, used to scare me but get used to it after a bit.
Had the wolf whistles out of a canal boat of drunken women so I stopped and asked them to get their **** out 8)
Stopped and helped a load of drunken women on said same canal as one of them had collapsed and got a kiss of about 6 of them when the Ambulance had arrived. I left as the Paramedic was looking scared of them..........
Been egged by some chavs in a Fiesta. Didn't know till I got home and took my Camalbak off.
On the average week I get beeped at or told to get off the f*in road a few times. Worst occasion was the guy who stopped and threatened me with a golf club, for reasons I still don't understand.
And slightly off topic but still funny, was the time I got chased by a dog for about half a mile. Every time I picked up the pace the dog did too, didn't want to slow down for fear of it jumping into my spokes. Still wonder how long it took for the owner to catch up with us.
I got shouted at today, by an pensioner/invalid in one if those electric carts.
He watched me come down the road (had extended eye contact), then when I got to 20m shot of the kerb in front of me. As I slammed on the brakes he called me an "idiot w@nker ". A short rebuff from me about a disability being no excuse for idiocy and I was on my way.
my mates were cycling home when a young lad leaned out of a passing car and wacked his arse with a horse whip ....he caught up with him at the next lights and decided against getting physical..... this was 200m from another mates place of work .... local police station.... after a quick phone call he left the driver and the whipper with the local armed response officers for company....sweet !
plyphon - Member
Not gonna lie, a lot of stuff in this thread is certified hilarious.
So much so should be a sticky!
Keep um coming!
A couple of years ago a car of chavs threw a pair of lacy knickers out of the window of their Saxo at the bunch I was riding in. It made me laugh.:-) Made a change from the usual random abuse.
FROGLEEK - MemberNever been shouted out, but once had a bunch of chavs drive past in a corsa and launch a McDonalds milkshake at me, it was strawberry flavoured
I've had the same Strawberry MCD Milkshake thrown over me too - must be something too sweet for the chavs to finish it
+3 only mine was banana. Plus they did it about 500m from their house. I know where you live.....
Approaching a parked CHAVECTRA,the woman driver flung open the door and in chav scouse shouted DICKEAD at me, i just smiled,stopped a bit higher up the road to write the details down, and as she drove past, a tatooed oaf, shouted out the window, DICKHEAD again in a chav scouse accent, i just waved back.
Must be a new form of welcome i was unaware of 🙂
[quote=Kato said]Plus they did it about 500m from their house. I know where you live.....
revenge is a [s]dish[/s] milk shake best served cold.
The correct response to a long tirade of abuse:
"I am dreadfully sorry would you remind repeating all that I am rather deaf"
This will either get a laugh or promote a degree of apoplexy that either causes them to smack you good and proper or induce a rise in blood pressure sufficient to blow their arteries off their heart.
I cannot claim credit for the line (I think it comes from a book originally) but it is a particular favourite.
The correct responce to abuse (rather than something genuinely funny of course) is:
Male abuser: Slag off car
Female abuser: Call them fat
I quite often make comments to other cyclist who've gone through red lights when I catch them up... depending on the amount of time available it ranges from "you really should be more careful, you nearly knocked someone over back at those lights" to "you **** *"
every week or so.
last time was a guy who pulled straight out in front of me on a fast A road. told me I should look where I was going.
Just could not belive it and giggled at him shaking my head saying he was unbeliveable. he then screeched away telling me i was a **** and he was going to kick my arse and how I did not pay road tax etc etc.
I would have ad im I think.
got me in to work nearlt 5 mins early that one grrrrrr.
At least the into battle adrenalin gets used up on chain mashing grunting.
SE London yesterday, I stopped at a pelican crossing for a mother & child. Guy behind me shot through, missing the woman & child by an inch. She shouted at him as he rode on. I pull level and said he'd nearly hit the woman & child to which he replied: "F* off you c, it's not of your f**** business. F off I'll have you, you f** c* etc etc etc."
I need to learn to ignore other road users bad behaviour and just keep out of their way. Sometimes I'm a sanctimonious tw*t.
Again SE London: commuting, cleared my runny snotter by the usual means and a woman in a saab pulls up next to me and lowers her window;
She says "that's disgusting"
I reply "its got a lot to do with what's coming out of your exhaust pipe"
She screeches back "get a mask then". Fair point I suppose.
Not commuting but heading over from Rivington to Belmont recently a guy working in one of the fields started loudly calling me "Lance Armstrong" and repeated it until I was out of earshot - which took a while as it was at the steepest bit.
He only paused to laugh at his own cleverness.
Also heading from Anglezarke into Chorley, and going quite swiftly up a short climb some schoolkids ran across the road in front and I heard one say "he's rapid like".
🙂
got hooted at by a fat bloke in an Astra yesterday. Not sure why, think he was signalling his inner hurt
once got followed by a van full of lads on an undulating fast bit who sat about 6 ft off my back wheel and yelled out my speed every 20 seconds. A bit unnerving, but quite friendly I suppose. Got a cheer when I finally couldn't maintian a decent speed anymore and they over took
Think you get funny comments on a normal bike? They're nothing to what you get on [s]recumbents[/s] unicycles
Though a lot of them are variations on "where's your other wheel" and not all that funny. I suppose it is my own fault for doing something which attracts attention.
might be some bloke on here but recently when I was commuting on the mtb for more grip in the ice there's a bloke passes me coming the opposite way on his bike shouts "COTIC" as he's seen I'm on the soul.
I just nodded a few times, then one day shouted 'SODA' back, as this appeared to be his vehicle. not seen him since. shame as I want to bellow it again. 😀
I quite often make comments to other cyclist who've gone through red lights when I catch them up... depending on the amount of time available it ranges from "you really should be more careful, you nearly knocked someone over back at those lights" to "you **** *"
There's a lot of funny stuff on here, but THIS is over the line. It's over the line man!!
Plus it makes this whole thread less fun, cause frankly if a cyclist RLJ and is nowhere near a pedestrian/ other vehicle, what does it matter to you?
might be some bloke on here but recently when I was commuting on the mtb for more grip in the ice there's a bloke passes me coming the opposite way on his bike shouts "COTIC" as he's seen I'm on the soul.
Like it. Seen a guy on an On-One round here - they're few and far between as it's North America. In hindsight I should really have bellowed "On One!" at him, in case he didn't know (and to show that I do know)
My particular favorite is when a chap/chav got up from the sofa that was placed in his wrecked front garden, sauntered to the side of the road where about 15 MTBers were pootling along, connecting trails, and with bifta in one hand and can of Fosters in t'other shouted at us -
" What the flook are you lot doing,FFS? Get a flooking life!"
Priceless.
" What the flook are you lot doing,FFS? Get a flooking life!"
had similar on a friday night ride, going through some town or another on the isle of wight.
some lad starts shouting "what are you doing? it's friday night, why don't you go and do something fun?"
I love a night on the piss, but it's sad if you can't see that anything else might be 'fun'.
Get the usual bellowing as people drive past, novelty has worn off now.
People hanging out of the passenger side of cars telling me to get a car are also a favorite, usual response is, “same to you". Usually gets them to pipe down.
Worst one was when I was out on road bike with my girlfriend, couple of girls in an open top beetle drove past and squirted us with super soakers. It shocked my girlfriend and she almost went into the kerb, the red mist descended, I caught up with them at the junction and dumped a litre bottle filled with High5 Zero over the pair of them and the cream leather interior.
Was worried after the adrenaline wore off (criminal damage etc) but saw them in the same car the next day and they looked sheepish and ignored me!
dumped a litre bottle filled with High5 Zero over the pair of them and the cream leather interior.
Pah, that's basically water, SIS Go or something I imagine would be horrible. Or High5 4:1 which absolutely reeks when it's a bit stale because of the whey protein in it!
I very rarely get shouted at, feeling left out now!
if a cyclist RLJ and is nowhere near a pedestrian/ other vehicle, what does it matter to you?
because it annoys pedestrians and road users such that I get abuse for jumping red lights when I don't. people drive more aggressively because they feel aggrieved by cyclists cheating the rules when they're stuck in the traffic. I have seen on several occasions cars go through red lights following a bicycle because they presume that the light is on green because the cyclist has gone through.
all of these things put me in increased danger and are inexcusable.
but you're right this is a funny thread and not one for the RLJ debate.
I once commuted home on the tandem, solo.
This was the last time as i officially ran out of polite ripostes to HILARIOUS people.
It is worrying when all of this becomes the 'accepted' norm though.
I have been shot at with a paintball gun, had stones thrown at me by kids, cigarettes thrown at me, cans of drink, run into oncoming traffic etc etc - to be honest a bit of verbal abuse is nothing - almost a relief 🙂
I once got heckled by a pedestrian because I had stopped at a red light.
On another occasion a bunch of kids were preparing to heckle me but changed their minds because they were impressed that I was riding a Cannondale.
On my current commute I often see a motorcyclist who may have shouted at me a couple of times. However as he's wearing a motorcycle helmet all I can hear of his wit, insight or fury is a muffled noise that may once have been human speech.
talking of other cyclists doing the shouting, if you have time, this thread from a while ago on on lfgss forum regarding the Screaming Banshee is a good read! 🙂
[url= http://www.lfgss.com/thread19065.html ]banshee[/url]
I once commuted home on the tandem, solo.
Asking for it, IMHO. 😉
We used to shout 'get off and milk it!'
Asking for it, IMHO.
🙂
😯 ❓ 😆I once got heckled by a pedestrian because I had stopped at a red light.
I got heckled by a pedestrian for not riding on the pavement to get past stationary traffic. He finished with "you've got a GT !" Not sure what having a GT had to do with it.

