[Closed] Critical Mass Manchester - rant content

The fact that it has wound you up so much pleases me immensely. 😀

Love CM. To be able to just ride around and chill out without so many dickhead car drivers intent on mowing you down is brilliant. I've talked to cycle cops who actually ask to be put on CM duty as they enjoy it so much.

ALL I WANT TO DO IS GET BACK FROM THE CHINESE WITH MY VERMICELLI!

Yeah, f- everyone else, eh? Great attitude. How good would it be if we all felt like that?

(Gotta be a troll this, eh? Ah well, fun to play along!)

2/10

When/where was that? Didn't notice anything today...

I fear that you'll get no sympathy for your attitude problem here.. 🙂

Course it's a troll/light hearted snap at the kind of people who make my blood boil! And yes, me getting home before my tea goes cold is important!

Riding round the roads holding up traffic? F everyone else eh!

🙂

Hope your takeaway went cold, learn to cook.

CM - 1

Arsehat - 0

Holy shit! Not again.

I can hear corduroy rustling, beards being scratched and highway code books being thumbed from here..

think they made their point tbh...think it is self defeating but hey ho they made their point.
Imagine if a cyclists gets this angry with cyclists - in fact this forum has at least one rant a week about cyclists never mind a car forum..something needs to be done but I dont think this is the correct thing.

Why not ride to the Chinese and back?

There's a tandem rider currently busy on another thread who'll be along in a minute to tell you that what they were up to was perfectly correct and proper according to his little book. And he'll be right too as he always is!

I've got a plan. The sensible people seem to be those who can see both sides. I.E those that drive and cycle. So the obvious answer is....

...lets all chip in and teach the cyclists to drive. maybe set them up with a cheap runabout?

I know. Genius.

Junkyard: my post is firmly Tongue in cheek and a bit of Friday fun, nothing against CM per se. Do worry it just creates a really bad impression though, do the drivers remember the many cyclists riding considerately going about their business? Course not! Do they remember the 40 idiots riding 6 abreast and stopping traffic on Great Ancoats Street? Course they do!

I don't really see the point of it, and I do think that being antagonistic in order to get your point across is the wrong way to do things, (yes I realise the irony of that statement!)

To be fair, I've always wanted to post a rant and get a score out of ten, not happy with my 2/10 though, I thought my use of a bit of caps and the word 'arse rolo' would have got me a couple more points than that! 😉

for me 3/10
EDIT - arse rolo overlooked, score revised to 4/10

I enjoyed it.

Possibly could have benefitted from the inclusion of the word spaff.

Nuke em all boys!! "Get me the President!"

Ah no come on; cooduv strung this out for hours! 🙁

And there's me getting all worked up with a counter-rant. All for nowt. 😥

I don't really see the point of it

It's to tell dickhead ignorant car drivers that they don't own the roads like they think they do...

I love the irony of car drivers getting all irate about cyclists 'needlessly' blocking the roads, when it's actually they themselves what cause all the congestion and pollution. If you took all non-essential cars off city streets, ittud be bloody fantastic. Everyone would be calmer and more relaxed, buses would be able to get around more easily, less people killed and injured, far less pollution in urban areas, etc etc etc. Would be beneficial to society.

Just to clarify, I wasn't driving, haven't got a license or car!

In order for some more entertainment and to carry on the scrap:

ONE WOMAN ABSOLUTELY REEKED OF BREAST MILK RICE PUDDING AND COUS COUS! New age dirty bleeders the lot of em, I should have pissed on the mobile boom box and pwned the fixie rider with my Bombers, he wouldn't have been riding off to Oi Poiloi for another pair of skinny jeans then would he the plum!

Elfin's right look at china a ****ing paradise and no mistake
and I will give a generous 7/10 mainly for being fooled 😳

Well David, Whilst your dry warm and fed at home with a beer, the arse hat 6 abreast twunts will be getting quite wet this evening. There is a god. 😆

@Elfinsafety

remember, "mirror, signal, manoeuvre". You'll soon get the hang of it.

Being in the right is no use when you're making your opponents angrier and angrier and hating you (and the rest of us) more and more.

Critical Mass: Used to love it. Now I've realised how counter-productive it is.

I did the London to Brighton ride last weekend. There were large sections of the route, where the road was made one way for the day. The left hand lane was for cyclists and the right hand lane for vehicles. It was clearly signposted that the left hand lane was for cyclists and the right hand lane for vehicles.

However many cyclists continued to ride in the right hand lane, where they would stay even if a car appeared behind them! Don't get me wrong I spent a lot of time in the right hand lane, because I could ride at a greater speed. However as soon as a vehicle appeared behind me, I would move over in to the left hand lane. The cyclists that refused seemed to be doing it, just to wind the drivers up!

Is it any wonder that the cyclist is becoming more and more hated by other road users?

Ironically I just picked up my post. I've got a letter from Mori/Ipsos on behalf of Derbyshire county council asking what I think about the highways.
I'm going to respond saying get rid of the cycle lanes as apparently cyclists don't want them anyway 🙂

Eco warrior, skinny jean wearing, fixie riding hippie bum buddies all made a right turn!

That will be the guy from Tib street on the fixie, and the lads from canal street as the rest of them.

I now really regret having wasted ten minutes of my life giving you Peak route advice last week. You reek of smug, selfish, self-absorbed, prejudice.

Every time I read about another cyclist killed or injured in a road traffic accident, it reminds me that we live in a country where cyclists are second class citizens. And ironically, nowhere more so than this forum. You're an idiot.

Woooooooosh!

You didn't read far down the thread did you?

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David: my post is firmly Tongue in cheek and a bit of Friday fun, nothing against you per se.

Whoosh... [the irony of it]

I suspect the idiot drivers will stop being ****s towards cyclists when cyclists stop being ****s towards other road users.

Unfortunately that is one of those things that'll never happen - like members of U2 paying taxes, Old miserable sods on roadbikes on the Newburn to Wylam track saying 'hello' back and smiling, and me stopping drinking Thatchers 7.4% cider.

Hang on hang on, let's get this right. There's a glaring issue with your rant that I just cannot accept

You bought Vermicelli from a chinese? You are clearly a fool, I suggest you buy a bike and tour around the world discovering that pasta comes from the italian and noodles are chinese.

PS your rant sucks ass. Must do better next time.

You are clearly a fool, I suggest you buy a bike and tour around the world discovering that pasta comes from the italian and noodles are chinese.

Do you know where the Italians got the idea for pasta from?

On yer bike.... 😉

[img] [/img]

I could have had chips from the Chinese take away, even a Hollands pudding, I never stated the origin of the dish I purchased. Your pop at my rant sucks a big bag of donkey dicks, so ner!

So hard to get people to bite on this forum without them taking it seriously! Honestly, anyone would think I had started a thread asking for a .gpx of Calderdale!

ah, I seem to be out of step here

First up, I'm taking off at least a point for arse rolo - far too contrived IMO. 👿

Second - critical mass is kack IMO. It's the biking equivalent of teenagers swearing a lot when they're out in public. ****y half-arsed "rebellion" that makes you look like an attention seeking knob rather than asserting any valid claim to anything.
Really, genuinely - not a whoosh in sight

Anyhow, must dash. Need to polish up my Luger 😉

What tyres for sucking a bag of donkey dicks?

If anyone has a .gpx file for calderdale can I have it please?

Ps can I do lee quarry on my mincing fixie now it's been officially graded a green trail?

BigG: you can do the quarries on a unicycle now they've been officially downgraded to 'spaff' status, but you'll need a 29er to ride over the socialites in the Everest deathzone!

Deathzone you say? What if I take my own highly respected nurse, a morrissey shirt and a U2 CD? Could I just bunnyhop the rich bankers then?

Only if you left some daffodils by each body as you bunnyhopped your way to the summit!

Did you try driving through them in a black Golf? I hear that works. Better make sure you are in a South American country though.

Also, shoulder shoving one of the cyclists is also effective, although it may cost you your job.

you slag off tight Jean fixie riders. that's me then

Podge: I'm just jealous cause when I had a fixie I couldn't do the skids like this bastard was doing!

I have silly low gearing (22:16) for polo. easy to skid but a bugger if you want to go any faster than walking pace without being shattered